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Joined: Dec 4, 2004
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StoryTime with Santabeard! Reply to this Post
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We had a fine gathering of jolly young pirates and elves in the Hephaestus Forge Palace, on the Friday night of the 4th of December.

So gather around pirates, young and old, to here the Story of Giggles the Elf, as told by the pirates of Midnight Ocean.

The next Story Time with Santabeard will be held Friday, December 10th, at 10pm GMT within the Palace again! I hope to see ye there!

The Story of Giggles of the Elf

Santabeard says, "Once upon a time there was an elf that couldn't stop giggling!"
"she giggled so much that the other elves all named her Giggles!"
"her laughter was contageous"

Santabeard says, "sometimes, she would even make the others laugh so much that...."

Sillies says, "Sometimes she would even make the others laugh so much that Santa named all of the elves giggles. But, then santa couldn't take it anymore! he would call one elf and they would all come.. so one day.."

Santabeard says, "so one day... Santabeard decided he had to talk with Giggles."
"The elves were in such an uproar with all the giggling, no work was getting done!!!"

Floobie says, "So dragged a whole bunch of giggles before him and said.. "Alright, since you all can't seem to keep your mind on your jobs, I'm going to give you new jobs... And new names!"

Floobee says, "Then Santa put his finger along side his nose and winked at the original giggles. She shimmered and shaked, twinkled and giggled ... and turned into a red-nosed reindeer. "You are now called Rudolph. And you willl guide my sleigh."..."

Santabeard says, "Giggles gasped in amazement. Everything looked so different while she was a reindeer. Instead of two eyes in front, her eyes were on either side of her head. It was a bit dizzying!"

Sillies says, "The other reindeers and Rudolph the rednosed giggles had to learn to fly santa's sleigh over the skies but when she tried to take off.. one of hte other reindeer bit her tail! she took off alright..."

Santabeard says, "with a great heave the sleigh shot forward!"
"as the reindeer whose tail was bitten jumped and ran, the other reindeer became excited and followed."
"fast as lightening the sleigh shot through the sky, out of control!"

Sillies says, "so the sleigh went faster than the speed of light in the air.. Santa shouted over the sound of the wind whistling in his ears.... Woah Dasher! Woah dancer, ... woohooo comet and and blitzen..."

Santabeard says, "the sleigh raced through the sky! out of control! And Santa called out woah dasher! woah Dancer, woah prancer... but before he could list all the reindeer he swallowed a bug."

says, "Coughing and sputtering, Santa lost control of the already spiraling team of reindeer and fell out of the sleigh! his arms whirled and his legs kicked but it was of no use.. He knew it was all over..."

Giggle says, "but then Santa got caught on one of the reindeer's antlers... pulling the poor dear along with him... but as they are still connected.. the other elves pull them up.... but santa is dangling precariously... giggles starts to giggle again.."
Sillies says, "Down below, Santa saw a great ship in the ocean... Ahoy there! he called out as the sleigh and reindeer pulled him along.."
Patches says, "you lazy stupid animals, how am I supposed to deliver all the presents to the children when you tell me you cant actually fly??"

Temujin says, "Which was allright, as the tech elves had installed some jet engines in the back of Santa's Slay after the fiasco of the '02 stomach flu"

Harnelo says, "well since it was so bleedin cold in The Pole the jet engine fuel froze up, so no go"

Floobee says, "Santa sighed and pointed back to the ship in the sea. He knew they were going to have to make a calculated landing to live. With gentle words in giggle's ear, he steered her down to the deck of the ship. It looked to be a great frigate.."
Floobee says, "and abandoned at that.... He was no more than a pirate to do this!"

Santabeard says, "the material of Santa's costume stretched and tore as he dangled from the reindeers antlers!"
Santabeard says, "the pirate in the crows nest in the ship below looked up and gaped a moment before yelling to the crew."
Santabeard says, "oh no! Look! Santabeard will fall to his doom!"

Gil says, "Fortunately for the wayward sleigh and the distressed Santa, the frigate was hauling back loads of hemp and the entire deck was stock full of the bales of the soft material."
Gil says, "The only hope was the heat of rentry would not make all very happy pirates."

Giggle says, "but as Santa landed on the hemp with the confused reindeer...the ship tossed and a big wave of water came over the side, drenching them all and cooling them off... Giggles giggled madly.. and turned back into an elf... but the pirates...."

Patches says, "but some Hemp was still burning and the heat defrosted the frozen fuel in one of the reindeers jet packs, that reindeer swwooped down and.........."

Harnelos says, ?Billions of Blistering Blue Barnacles!
Harnelo says, "forgot to put on the brakes skittering towards the impending doom...."

Temujin says, "And becasue of that, the reindeer took of like a rocket"
Temujin says, "barely avoid getting caught in the miles of rigging holding up the sails"
Temujin says, "Santa lept into action, yelling"

Gil says, "The reindeer with the make shift jet pack happened to be named Comet and often had gas problems on the Christmas eve flights. So the flaming bottle of jet fule lit one of Comet's butt bursts and increased the speed of the sleigh."
Gil says, "So as the sleigh careened along the night sky, Santa yelled to giggle to start roasting the chestnuts"
Gil says, "But on the horizon a dark shape was closing in on them. It was?

Floobee says, "Hard to make out from this distance.. It could be a anything from a man on a flying carpet to a plane. Santa grimaced as he looked up. "Thar she blows!" yelled the pirate on the poop deck, causing giggles to giggle at the humour of it all"
Floobee says, ""Them reindeer looked to have been good jobbers too. Looked liek they could handle a hammer and make things""
Floobee says, ""Ah well, said another pirate. Hard to port, let's see if we can catch us an easter bunny while we're out here..""
Floobee says, "Just then, Santa had an idea.. if only he had a ...."

says, "large easter bunny net to catch that wayward easter bunny sleigh in the distance"
Harnelo says, "because it is after all christmas and santa could use all the help he can get"
Harnelo says, "but just as he was about to cast the special Easter Bunny Net..."

Santabeard says, "Just as Santa was about to cast the net"
Santabeard says, "he reconcidered the ramification of abducting such a loved bunny"
Santabeard says, "not to mention the moral and legal problems"
Santabeard says, "and put his net back away in the hold."
Santabeard says, "instead, he waved hello to the Easter Bunny and wished him a Merry Christmas."
Santabeard says, "Though Santabeard wondered what the Easter Bunny was doing out this time of year"

Gil says, "As the Easter Bunny hopped along the clouds, he tossed Santa some chocolate Santas to pass along to the extra special good children of the world."
Gil says, "And also in the huge basket was a big chocolate bunny for all the elves. "Courtesy of Mrs. C" the bunny shouted as the sleigh sped along"

says, "the big chocolate easter bunny melted"
Patches says, "and when it dripped onto the young people in Midnight it turned the into Teenage Mutanant Ninja Elves and when the were the Mutant Elves they said to Santa"

Giggle says, "and they ravaged through the ocean looking for pizza in the shops.. to no avail.. Santa was going crazy..."
Giggle says, "was there to be no christmas this year?"
Giggle says, "how am I to get the presents to the good little pirates with mutant elves?"
Giggle says, "then Giggle giggles again... and the elves... they giggle too... and all the pirates.. they start giggling... until...."

Blazingblade says, "he then thought of the only way to cure the mutant elves of their mutantness"
Blazingblade says, "He must convince cupid to shoot all of his elves with his arrows since all they needed was love"

Gil says, "But Cupid was out of arrows. He'd been using them on all the mistletoe kissers and it would be many days until he had anymore. But he did point Santa to another solution"
Gil says, "Since chocolate made them mutant elves, then some vanilla might turn them back to their normal elves."
Gil says, "So Santa has to seek out the greatest source of vanilla...Pass to Floobee"

Santabeard says, "of course, everyone know s the moon is made of vanilla"
Santabeard says, "the only problem was.... how to get there."

Patches says, "Santa knew that was impossible, so he consulted another"
Patches says, "and after much thought and discussion about wire brushes and things Santas decided to go with the next best idea............."

Giggle says, "went to the giant hole on heph.. and awoke the giant christmas Kraken sleeping in its depths.. it collects wire brushes.. so with the gift the kraken agrees to fly to the moon.. and send down showers of vanilla...."
Giggle says, "Santa thinks all is well.. when it starts to rain... and the elves turn back into themselves.. but..."
Giggle says, "the vanilla rain doesn't stop... the Kraken does not return.... what do we do?......"

Blazingblade says, "santa says we need to make a big arc like noah and put 2 familiars of evrey kind in and wait for the rain to stop"

says, "the elves needed to build an arc fast! And find a way to stop the vanilla rain"
Santabeard says, "all this because they could not stop giggling!"
Santabeard says, "and worse"
Santabeard says, "now that the elves were back to their old selves again"
Santabeard says, "they still could not stop giggling!"
Santabeard says, "and even in this dire emergency, nothingw as getting done!"
Santabeard says, "Santabeard despaired. Would this now not only be the end of Christmas, but also the end of the world???"
Santabeard says, "just then, Cupid appeared, and angelic voices filled the air singing 'all you need is love'."

Gil says, "Cupid and his four back up singers, Paul, John George and Ringo, reminded everyone the true spirit of Christmas and where all the good thoughts of the season came from"
"And their singing make the vanilla rain stop and the sunshine bloomed, drying the puddle of vanilla to dust to be used by the Easter Bunny to make some white chocolate."
Gil says, "So as the Easter Bunny filled his sack with vanilla, and the Cupid chrous continued their rendition of love songs, the ark was loaded with the goodies for all the girl and boys and Santa was ready to set off again."
Gil says, "So hitching the reindeer to the ark and having all the elves rowing, the ark was able to float up into the sky and the voyage was udnerway again."
Gil says, "Unfortunately, no one asked the familairs to get off and they were enjoying unwrapping all the presents. And there was no more wrapping paper on the ark, What was to be done???"

Floobee says, "Santa looked at the scene and felt his eyes fill with tears of frustration. Everything was going wrong! It was christmas and no one was going to get presents!"
Floobee says, "Then it dawned on him..."
Floobee says, "His sleigh never broke down in many centuries... his elves misbehaving... the rocket fuel.. the easter bunny, cupid...."
Floobee says, "the ninja elves!"
Floobee says, "Everything was just too bizarre to be coincidence."
Floobee says, "He sat down heavily on the deck and tapped his finger against the side of his nose... Think Santa! he told himself."
Floobee says, "Something tickled the back of his mind... The easter bunny said something... From mrs. clause! What was he doing with mrs. clause on xmas eve? the only night santa was out! ..."
Floobee says, "Something was stinky in happyland, and all signs were pointing to the easterbunny... Santa knew he was the jealous sort... Christmas came before easter..."
Floobee says, "he made toys and treats... the easter bunny made chocolate and wasn't very inventive like santa's team.... santa got a shiny sled... the bunny tried to get a better one!"

says, "Meanwhile..... The Easter bunny was scheming away."
Roxxane says, "He was going to take over every holiday, one by one, and eventually all of HappyLand!"
Roxxane says, ""MUHAHAHAHA!!!!" Yelled the Easter Bunny!"
Roxxane says, "Then..........."
Roxxane says, "BAM"
Roxxane says, "The door slammed open, and who was standing in the doorway?"
Roxxane says, "Santa!"

Blazingblade says, "but then the blue meanies attacked him the flying glove that the easter bunny hired to destroy santa's presents and elves"
Blazingblade says, "santa needed to think fast"

Patches says, "the mop topped foursome John, Paul Ringo and George, can they save the day? or will Mick Jagger slay the evil Easter Bunny?er"
Patches says, "pass to Santa"

Santabeard says, "but the Easter Bunny wasn't expecting one thing!"
Santabeard says, "Santabeard didn't come alone"
Santabeard says, "he was backed up by his elite elf security force, led by, the ELFINATOR!"
Santabeard says, "equiped with the most modern elf offence and elf defense weaponry"

says, "The Elfinator turned on the Easter Bunny and cackled a high-pitched superior laugh, one could only expect from one with such a noble and daring name."
Floobee says, "but the EAster bunny had one more trick up his sleave. He hopped forward, and gave the Elfinator a big, snuggly hug. The Elfinator put down his elite bunnygun and hugged the bunny back."
Floobee says, "Santa suddenly thought that all hope was lost... until.. Giggles the rednosed elf stepped forward..."
Floobee says, "And she took one look at the bunny's twitching little cotton ball tail and started giggling"
Floobee says, "she giggled so hard, everyone in the room started pointing and giggling, and falling on their faces they were laughing so hard"
Floobee says, "And to Santa's surprise, it even infected the Easter bunny"
Patches says, "and patches took our her hammer and nailed said bunny to the floor to stop it hopping away"
Floobee says, "but he was a nefarious sort, and the giggling and joy turned him completely mad...."
Floobee says, "He hopped overboard in the lifeboat, rowed to shore and disappeared down the first rabbithole he could find..."
Floobee says, "And when he met a little girl named Alice.. He knew... There was no going back."
Floobee says, "And christmas ... as usual.. was saved."
Floobee says, "THE END"

[Dec 4, 2004 6:47:10 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 

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Lol, good. :D
Sexonaship says, "hi sxc wanna be mi gf?"
Foxiekim says, "Sorry, I'm lesbian."
Sexonaship says, "omg u stupod greenie foxy ppl arnt lesbians!"
[Oct 14, 2006 12:17:49 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 

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Mind the almost-2-year bump!
Chocorose of Cerulean:
Not too cute to be a pirate.
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[Oct 15, 2006 3:21:53 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
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