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Posted by Empanado at May 20, 2006 5:28:38 PM
Empanado's 4A Avatars!
Greetings, fellow buccaneers! I come here with an unique offer:
Avatars!
Ah, but what may be so interesting about these avatars, you may ask yourself? You may be, in fact, at this very moment, planning to write an essay for your class on how Empanado's avatars are nothing new, and he just wants to lay his grubby hands on some pirate Joe/Jane's hard-earned poes.
But that's where you're wrong! These avatars have four unique features that make them exceptional. These are known as the FOUR A's:

1- Avatarial. All these Avatars are 100% usable in avatar form. It has become common for many a pirate to purchase an expensive and fancy avatar, unbeknownst to them that it was no avatar at all!
Well, there's no such funny business in these avatars. You can have the guarantee that all of them are avatars!

2- Accesible. Avatars available for the masses! You won't find any 150x150 pixelated square for the irrisory price of 100k+, here. These are bargains! Available to YOU, the middle class pirate/piratette, who knows that s/he can't spend a month's salary on spiffy drawings when he still needs to put food on the table for the wife and kids, or for some lazy, alcoholic pirate husband!
For this, avatars go for the measley, miserable, laughable price of 6000 PoE. That's Six-thousand Pieces o' Eight. 6k, for the word-shortening lovers.

3- Awesome. I am no fancy-pants artist. I am, like you, a man of the people! I know how things work in everyday life. I am familiar with the inequalities and unfairness of modern pirate society. You order an avatar, and it arrives half an hour later, and even worse, all the awesome on it has worn off. And then you say "Garçon! This avatar has ran out of awesome!", and you are then approached by some gorilla-ish former boxer in a suit who explains to you how it was clearly stated in the menu (with sub-microscopic fineprit, that is) that all the avatars were only awesome for five minutes!
Well, no such cons, scams, malarkey and skull-dudgery here. These avatars are awesome, and will still be awesome when your grandchildren's grandchildren are old and dieing of cancer.

4- Anti-Nazi. One of the most important features you can ask to an avatar. Many a time, you'll feel absolute infatuation by an avatar/avatar artist out there, only to find out that they have the questionable custom to shout "SIEG HEIL!" on ocassion, and have manifested controversial opinions on the veracity of the Holocaust. They may even eat puppies! There's no safety in avatars if they are (or are made by) evil white supremacists. That's why all of these avatars are absolutely and one hundred precent minority-loving.

"Gee whiz, Empanado, this sounds incredibly swell, but how do they look like?", you may ask. Well, suffer no more, for your tormenting doubt is to be dissipated NOW!:






Payments taken on Midnight only. Contact through PM is mostly recommended. People who attempt to make contact through e-mail will be reported to the police. Secondary effects may include, but are not excluded to: Diarrhea, cancer, nausea, depression, euphoria, eating disorders, death and unwanted pregnancy.
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Empanado, at Midnight, makes avatars.

Posted by ponytailguy at May 20, 2006 6:23:20 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
Can I get another free one if I plug El Topo?
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The Ghost of Oceans Past

Posted by Empanado at May 20, 2006 6:39:55 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
 
Can I get another free one if I plug El Topo?


Not for the time being, but you get moral satisfaction for promoting El Topo. Isn't that swell?
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Empanado, at Midnight, makes avatars.

Posted by ponytailguy at May 20, 2006 6:41:16 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
I feel all fluffy and smooth inside, like I drank fabric softener!
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The Ghost of Oceans Past

Posted by HuskyTed at May 22, 2006 5:13:28 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
Can I still order one if I'm a fancy-pants artist and not-middle-class?

If so, I'd like to.
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Llama's like candy coated bunny holding a daisy and a puppy in one hand and a kitten in the other nice -Misery
avatar by Libelle / Kolibri


Posted by Cronk at May 22, 2006 7:41:22 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
I have been looking for a vendor of anti-nazi avatars for quite some time. Yes, Llama's avatar is clearly anti-nazi but he didn't offer a guarantee. Sign me up Tovarisch.
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Cronk
-Much better than you in every way.

Posted by deadstarr at May 23, 2006 4:31:47 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
The only thing holding me back in the past was no absolute guarantee by the artist for everlasting awesomeness. I have not looked at yer work long enough to test that guarantee, but I trust there's some kind of refund option available if the event that a significant drain of awesomeness should occur?

Also, is it possible to order a little extra anti-nazi?
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~DeadStarr
 
Hypnos sucks the corporate teat for all it is worth.
Deadstarr says,
"HAHA!"
Deadstarr says, "Oh that's a sig right there!"
Hypnos says, "Oh dear"


Posted by elsquido at May 23, 2006 4:38:59 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
How much for the 5th A upgrade? /me is always looking for a good Squido avatar...
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Squido!
Rotating avatars by Arshiss, Dian, Empanado, KingPriam, Raquaetta, SCURVYSOO, Shortyjack, Squido.

Posted by HuskyTed at May 23, 2006 7:02:59 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
I just got my 4A Avatar and I must say, I couldn't be happier. I'll be employing it after Irelay's avatar (used currently) has it's 7 days in the sun.



Well done, sir.
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Llama's like candy coated bunny holding a daisy and a puppy in one hand and a kitten in the other nice -Misery
avatar by Libelle / Kolibri


Posted by Empanado at May 23, 2006 8:22:06 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
 
The only thing holding me back in the past was no absolute guarantee by the artist for everlasting awesomeness. I have not looked at yer work long enough to test that guarantee, but I trust there's some kind of refund option available if the event that a significant drain of awesomeness should occur?


Refunds will be unnecessary, but existent. You can ask your avatar to be replaced with a new one if you're unsatisfied with it in the first place, though.

 
Also, is it possible to order a little extra anti-nazi?


It is not only possible but ENCOURAGED. That's why I now unveil a new type of avatar: The 200% ANTI-NAZI AVATAR. This one is a partially-premade avatar, whose customizable parts are:
- The pirate on the back (i.e. YOU!)
- Props (fish, hammers, bludgeons, etc.)
- Your pirate name on top (Why, of course!)
- The verb (suggestions: smash, smite, beat, splat, blast)
An example of this avatar would be:



Given that this type of avatar is partially pre-made, its price is ONLY 4500 POE.

Do not miss this golden opportunity to show the world that your ideology is far away from Nazism!

EDIT: Ahem. It's 4.5k, not 4k. Anti-Nazism has its price, folks!
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Empanado, at Midnight, makes avatars.

Posted by deadstarr at May 24, 2006 6:50:44 AM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
Now *there's* some genuine beefed up Anti-Nazi! I feel inspired. Is lay-away an option? If I find a term for it that begins with 'A'? Any Ideas, anyone?


This one deserves an award.
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~DeadStarr
 
Hypnos sucks the corporate teat for all it is worth.
Deadstarr says,
"HAHA!"
Deadstarr says, "Oh that's a sig right there!"
Hypnos says, "Oh dear"


Posted by Drusilla at May 25, 2006 6:44:25 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
I can personally attest that my avatar is (with slight adjustmant) fully Avatarial, easily Accessible, reeking of Awesome, and just about as Anti-Nazi as you can get! Thank you, Empanado! Thank you so hard!
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Avast! Jesus were a leopard.

Posted by Blackfletch at May 31, 2006 12:23:54 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
Empanado rocks.
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Blackfletch

How many small shot does it take to sink a Grand Frigate? One.

Posted by Empanado at May 31, 2006 4:55:56 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
 
Empanado rocks hard .


Corrected.

Note: If you want an avatar, send a PM, people. A mere post won't cut it.
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Empanado, at Midnight, makes avatars.

Posted by HuskyTed at May 31, 2006 7:51:44 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
If that's the case, I'd ammend the part of the original post that says "Contact through post or PM"
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Llama's like candy coated bunny holding a daisy and a puppy in one hand and a kitten in the other nice -Misery
avatar by Libelle / Kolibri


Posted by Empanado at Jun 7, 2006 2:30:06 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
 
If that's the case, I'd ammend the part of the original post that says "Contact through post or PM"


Don't be silly. It doesn't say that anywhere. This is nothing more than lies and libel perpetrated by a man with enigmatic ties to altiplanic mammals.
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Empanado, at Midnight, makes avatars.

Posted by Cronk at Jun 7, 2006 10:48:27 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
Thanks for the Avatar Emp. I love it. It is much better than Cats. I am going to look at it again and again.
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Cronk
-Much better than you in every way.

Posted by crackbubba at Jun 8, 2006 8:03:30 AM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
You need to do this on Sage rofl. Alas I shall never have an avatar made by Emp *sighs*
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Barbadon: Captain of Curse of the Black Heart
Lipsy says, "Yo, ho, haul together, hoist the Colors high...
Heave ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we die."
Barbadon says, "ummm forget I'm dead already? or you mean die again? :P

Posted by Empanado at Jun 12, 2006 2:27:42 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
 
You need to do this on Sage rofl. Alas I shall never have an avatar made by Emp *sighs*


Do not despair, my unbeknownst friend. You can still pile up 6k in Midnight and apply for an avatar.
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Empanado, at Midnight, makes avatars.

Posted by sivius at Jun 12, 2006 8:52:52 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
I think I deserve a free one for succumbing to the style of conquistador hats three times, in pink*, yellow*, and maroon.

*Don't ask.
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Sivius
Unretired, sort of.

Posted by Empanado at Jun 13, 2006 8:09:11 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
 
I think I deserve a free one for succumbing to the style of conquistador hats three times, in pink*, yellow*, and maroon.

*Don't ask.


I'm sorry, but discounts only exist for actual conquistadors, not for your everyday jackanapes who has laid his grubby hands on a fine piece of conquistadorish headgear.
Also, you're narcoleptic. So ha. Ha at you.
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Empanado, at Midnight, makes avatars.

Posted by StillMyst at Jun 14, 2006 5:34:45 AM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
oooh shiny!!
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Mogget / Midnight
Take my PoE, take my land
Take my brigs and frigates grand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sea from me...


Posted by chemicalgirl at Jun 14, 2006 11:41:35 AM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
Empy, give your captain some lovin. Throw one this way!
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Silk
 
Stuyvesant flag officer chats, "You remember that whole "Midnight is better than Everything" phase?"
Silk flag officer chats, "phase...?"
Current Avatar by Falmari

Posted by deadstarr at Jun 16, 2006 6:33:44 AM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
I couldn't be more delighted with me new avatar. Thank ye, Empanado!
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~DeadStarr
 
Hypnos sucks the corporate teat for all it is worth.
Deadstarr says,
"HAHA!"
Deadstarr says, "Oh that's a sig right there!"
Hypnos says, "Oh dear"


Posted by silverlad at Jun 16, 2006 9:04:51 AM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
THESE AVATARS ARE AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just wondering cuase im thinking of geting one tho i have to order one through PM but i was just wondering if you can put animals along with the pirate in the avatar...just wanted to know and i give your avatars a big thums up!

Im saving up 6k right now and cant wait to get an avatar that soots me lol!
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Signed,
Silverlas,

Dian of Midnight
Avatar by Shortyjack

Posted by Empanado at Jun 19, 2006 5:56:29 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
 

Just wondering cuase im thinking of geting one tho i have to order one through PM but i was just wondering if you can put animals along with the pirate in the avatar...just wanted to know and i give your avatars a big thums up!

Im saving up 6k right now and cant wait to get an avatar that soots me lol!


Why, certainly! Avatars can come with all kinds of vertebrates & invertebrates alike. Even fungi, minerals, seaweed and/or amoebas!
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Empanado, at Midnight, makes avatars.

Posted by Cronk at Jun 20, 2006 7:03:36 AM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
 
 

Just wondering cuase im thinking of geting one tho i have to order one through PM but i was just wondering if you can put animals along with the pirate in the avatar...just wanted to know and i give your avatars a big thums up!

Im saving up 6k right now and cant wait to get an avatar that soots me lol!


Why, certainly! Avatars can come with all kinds of vertebrates & invertebrates alike. Even fungi, minerals, seaweed and/or amoebas!


It always comes back to sea cucumbers...
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Cronk
-Much better than you in every way.

Posted by Ringer2 at Jun 20, 2006 11:08:28 AM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
How about items, such as horseshoes? Or other non piratey but wanted items?
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Condort- Midnight
Illega- Cobalt

Professional Horseshoes... When close is not good enough...

Posted by Empanado at Jun 20, 2006 4:05:19 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
 
How about items, such as horseshoes? Or other non piratey but wanted items?


Anything that is legally acceptable to draw within the boundaries of the Republic of Chile and that won't crowd up the space to the point of non-distinguishableness is permissible, yes.
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Empanado, at Midnight, makes avatars.

Posted by ponytailguy at Jun 22, 2006 8:26:43 PM
Re: Empanado's 4A Avatars!
Could I then pay for an artistic impression of Empanado without a bucket?
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The Ghost of Oceans Past

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