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Print at Nov 23, 2020 10:55:32 PM

Posted by Empanado at May 20, 2006 5:28:38 PM
Empanado's 4A Avatars!
Greetings, fellow buccaneers! I come here with an unique offer:
Ah, but what may be so interesting about these avatars, you may ask yourself? You may be, in fact, at this very moment, planning to write an essay for your class on how Empanado's avatars are nothing new, and he just wants to lay his grubby hands on some pirate Joe/Jane's hard-earned poes.
But that's where you're wrong! These avatars have four unique features that make them exceptional. These are known as the FOUR A's:

1- Avatarial. All these Avatars are 100% usable in avatar form. It has become common for many a pirate to purchase an expensive and fancy avatar, unbeknownst to them that it was no avatar at all!
Well, there's no such funny business in these avatars. You can have the guarantee that all of them are avatars!

2- Accesible. Avatars available for the masses! You won't find any 150x150 pixelated square for the irrisory price of 100k+, here. These are bargains! Available to YOU, the middle class pirate/piratette, who knows that s/he can't spend a month's salary on spiffy drawings when he still needs to put food on the table for the wife and kids, or for some lazy, alcoholic pirate husband!
For this, avatars go for the measley, miserable, laughable price of 6000 PoE. That's Six-thousand Pieces o' Eight. 6k, for the word-shortening lovers.

3- Awesome. I am no fancy-pants artist. I am, like you, a man of the people! I know how things work in everyday life. I am familiar with the inequalities and unfairness of modern pirate society. You order an avatar, and it arrives half an hour later, and even worse, all the awesome on it has worn off. And then you say "Garçon! This avatar has ran out of awesome!", and you are then approached by some gorilla-ish former boxer in a suit who explains to you how it was clearly stated in the menu (with sub-microscopic fineprit, that is) that all the avatars were only awesome for five minutes!
Well, no such cons, scams, malarkey and skull-dudgery here. These avatars are awesome, and will still be awesome when your grandchildren's grandchildren are old and dieing of cancer.

4- Anti-Nazi. One of the most important features you can ask to an avatar. Many a time, you'll feel absolute infatuation by an avatar/avatar artist out there, only to find out that they have the questionable custom to shout "SIEG HEIL!" on ocassion, and have manifested controversial opinions on the veracity of the Holocaust. They may even eat puppies! There's no safety in avatars if they are (or are made by) evil white supremacists. That's why all of these avatars are absolutely and one hundred precent minority-loving.

"Gee whiz, Empanado, this sounds incredibly swell, but how do they look like?", you may ask. Well, suffer no more, for your tormenting doubt is to be dissipated NOW!:

Payments taken on Midnight only. Contact through PM is mostly recommended. People who attempt to make contact through e-mail will be reported to the police. Secondary effects may include, but are not excluded to: Diarrhea, cancer, nausea, depression, euphoria, eating disorders, death and unwanted pregnancy.
Empanado, at Midnight, makes avatars.

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