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Print at Dec 2, 2020 8:50:44 PM

Posted by Johnnyrico at Oct 3, 2005 9:34:16 PM
Re: Who Wants to be Hades' Governor? Contest Entries
I am the Governator. In my previous roles I have played a barbarian, a cyborg killer, a soldier, a kindergarten teacher, an evil super villain and most recently, the governor of the great island of Kali-forn-ee-yah. I have experience dealing with Greek gods when I played Hercules. The next logical role for me is as a pirate governor. I will bring my experience to the Governor’s office of Sak-ee-jee-mah on Vee-ree-dian. As in my previous governor’s role, I will rule with an iron fist (covered by a velvet glove).

I want to pump up the economy of Sak-ee-jee-mah. I will have one tax-free week per month and the lowest taxes in the Ocean. Each month one lucky new stall owner will be picked at random to have the poe cost of their stall refunded in full.

I will institute a physical fitness program to get all you wimpy girlie men into shape. Each month we will have a sloop race around Viridis, Terra and back home so we can work your flabby muscles, with wonderful prizes to the winner (possibly an autographed portrait of me flexing my muscles). I will turn the palace into the ultimate chymnasium and I will appoint a committee to promote physical fitness, which I will call the Council on Physical Fitness and Sports.

Finally I will send the navy East and South East to find new, as yet undiscovered islands to expand Hade’s Empire. And we will conquer these islands because it is best in life to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!

If our island kingdom is blockaded I will defend it with the vigour of a hunter-killer robot that can't be bargained with, can't be reasoned with, doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are sunk. And if I lose the first blockade, “I’ll be back” and then it’s “Hasta la vista, baby”.

Please excuse my accent, I am Austrian.


Johnnyrico
SO Anxiety - Lord of Infierno de los Diablos
Viridian Ocean
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Evony
Dark Warriors

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