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AlfMason

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Joined: Jul 20, 2006
Posts: 1396
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The Ram Jam at Frond - Friday November 10th, 3:00 pm Pirate Time

Ram-for-a-lamb glubby fun!!!

Okies, so I was listening to my oldie radio station this morning, and I kinda had a fun/non-fun/indifferent idea. Event Blockade!!! "Not again", I hear you groan, and boy, aren't you right. Except, this one will be different.

Guns don't kill people, rams kill people. The board, she will be so rock-steady, that you'll find nary a space without an obstacle to run into. Guns will be inactive, so the only way to get to your opponents is to ram them, repeatedly. For extra hilarity, the event will be SINKING. To misquote a respected (well, at least by a few) poster:
 
Small degrees of sinkage.


Another first: This Event blockade will actually have a PRIZE!!! I hear shouts of "A prize, what is it, I wants it", and I probably should take medication for that. Well, you know what it is. Seriously. Don't play dumb...

It's of course .... Whoa, Black Betty. That's right folks, after grazing on the Elysian Fields (Chrisspy is bald for a reason, folks) this pet lamb from Birmingham, way down in Alabam' (I know the lyrics are inane, I didn't make them...), will be finding a new owner. "A black lamb?" I hear you ask. Maybe I should lay off the medication. So ok, technically she's a sheep, but not if you only count the birthdays she admits to.

So yeah, a Black Sheep is given away. Though I can't really think of anyone who might want one, I don't give up hope that someone out there does give a barnacle, hell, even recent unconsequential regime changes got some attention on this forum, so I guess people are interested in the darndest things.

To make matters better/worse/more indifferent, this event will only be open to the sorriest excuse for a combat ship, the cutter. Apart from the merchies, this must be the most useless ship ever designed, and people should be glad if they sink. Also, they take some more carping than a sloop. Though still, should people sink from ram damage, they will be laughed at.

So come and Ram for your chance at the Lamb. Flag points might be rewarded too(* see below, 5th post or so), so you won't pay a lot of smelly jobbers for spending a round of puzzling for no return whatsoever.

If you are a sheep enthusiast (not necessarily like Gene Wilder in that one Woody Allen film), don't miss your chance. Watch the notice board like a hawk. The blockade will go up some time soon. Hopefully as soon as someone in my flag who has things to decide catches this thread :p.

Mullins
Attention-trolloping like it's 1999

P.S.: Should you feel offended by this post, be assured that it does not reflect the views of Elysian Fields, but rather those of one disturbed member. Also, should you feel offended by this post, you might or might not smell, I haven't decided yet for all cases.
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Mullins on Midnight, Stinks on Ice

Have a problem with me in Game Design? Read this

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
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[Edit 4 times, last edit by AlfMason at Nov 7, 2006 2:25:24 AM]
[Nov 2, 2006 12:43:20 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
StillMyst

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Joined: Oct 21, 2005
Posts: 733
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Re: The Ram Jam at Frond - soon coming to a notice board near you!!!

I like sheep!
Heartily endorse.
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Mogget / Midnight
Take my PoE, take my land
Take my brigs and frigates grand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sea from me...

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[Edit 1 times, last edit by StillMyst at Nov 2, 2006 5:27:14 AM]
[Nov 2, 2006 5:26:22 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
DreadedChris



Joined: Jan 27, 2006
Posts: 3334
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Re: The Ram Jam at Frond - soon coming to a notice board near you!!!

 
Though still, should people sink from ram damage, they will be laughed at.

I don't think they can be. I think I remember a recent forum discussion where it was said it requires at least one cannonball, no amount of banging into things can do it. I would love to be wrong, but I don't think I am.
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~< The Dread Pirate Chris >~
[Nov 2, 2006 10:44:04 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
elizajean

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Joined: May 3, 2005
Posts: 232
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Re: The Ram Jam at Frond - soon coming to a notice board near you!!!

 
 
Though still, should people sink from ram damage, they will be laughed at.

I don't think they can be. I think I remember a recent forum discussion where it was said it requires at least one cannonball, no amount of banging into things can do it. I would love to be wrong, but I don't think I am.


Anyone know for sure on this?
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Elizajean
...all up in your forums, lurking in your thread!

[Nov 2, 2006 12:29:26 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message    elizajean001 [Link]  Go to top 
Demonyaj

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Re: The Ram Jam at Frond - soon coming to a notice board near you!!!

Boat to boat rams will sink. Boat to rock rams will not.
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Denying the inevitable for as long as possible is a waste of life's work.
[Nov 2, 2006 12:31:36 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
AlfMason

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Joined: Jul 20, 2006
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Re: The Ram Jam at Frond - soon coming to a notice board near you!!!

News: 25.000 PoE will be divided amongst all who contested a flag in the blockade. The payout will be this:

The points scored by one flag in the round will be divided by the points scored by all participants in the round. You will recieve a share of the 25.000 according to this.

A simple example:

Round score:
Flag1 - 241
Flag2 - 185
Flag3 - 49
Flag4 - 25
Flag5 - 0

total points: 500 (I did make it easy for myself there...)

Flag2 will accordingly get (185/500)*25.000, which would be... (curses and looks for calculator) 9250 PoE. Flag3 would get 2450 PoE. Flag4 would get 1250 PoE. Flag5 would get nothing. Flag1 would get 12050 PoE and a Black Sheep. It's not much, granted, but after all ships will be risked...

As the total round score will probably not divide up neatly with the 25.000, results will be rounded. They will all be rounded up to give full numbers, so this is even an extra cost we take upon us for your enjoyment. With enough people participating, it might add up to more than 5 PoE. So come in large numbers and bleed (or bleat) us dry.
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Mullins on Midnight, Stinks on Ice

Have a problem with me in Game Design? Read this

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
[Nov 3, 2006 11:38:27 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
OldRustyKen



Joined: Feb 12, 2006
Posts: 200
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Shameless Sniping Plug

Glubbable Names

Mention this event and get 1000 poe off.
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Satrap of Midnight

"It's my pet elephant, wanna see his trunk?"

Hocus Pocus Potions on Eta
[Nov 3, 2006 12:50:04 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
AlfMason

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Joined: Jul 20, 2006
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Re: Shameless Sniping Plug

Begone! Get thee behind me to thine Bazaar-forum, whom whence you crawled and/or slithered into this thread!!!

*sprinkles Satrap with holy water*



If you really feel like buying a cutter, support the mates who ceaselessly toil to bring you this fun event. Elysian Fields has a few Shipyards that can manufacture cutters quickly and at great prices to boot.


Mullins

Righteous Hypocrite
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Mullins on Midnight, Stinks on Ice

Have a problem with me in Game Design? Read this

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
[Nov 4, 2006 4:19:05 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
elizajean

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Re: Shameless Sniping Plug

UP on the boards mates. Friday October 10th at 6 pm EST.
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Elizajean
...all up in your forums, lurking in your thread!

[Nov 6, 2006 11:32:30 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message    elizajean001 [Link]  Go to top 
AlfMason

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Joined: Jul 20, 2006
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Ram Jam

that's 3:00 pm PST (aka Game Time), 11:00 pm GMT.
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Mullins on Midnight, Stinks on Ice

Have a problem with me in Game Design? Read this

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
[Nov 7, 2006 2:25:05 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
c_squared01

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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 1004
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Re: Ram Jam

Bump to remind people that this one has prizes, so you should show up. Yarrrrrr!
 
25.000 PoE will be divided amongst all who contested a flag in the blockade.

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Chrisspy
[Nov 10, 2006 8:21:04 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
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