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ponytailguy

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[Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest (Results!)

"Bulwer-Lyttony?"
Aye, Bulwer-Lyttony. Y'see, this old salt called Eddie Bulwer-Lytton was a writer. At least, that's what his business cards said. You don't know who he is, because he was quite horrible at it. But he's famous for one thing: It was he who first wrote the words "It was a dark and stormy night."

In honour of this great achievement, Bulwer-Lyttony is the art of writing opening lines to novels. Lines can be fanciful, lines can be plain, lines can be long, lines can be short, lines can be funny, lines can be dramatic, lines can be mysterious, lines can even be sci-fi.

The only restriction? Only one line. One full stop/period. Do whatever you like with it, but you've only got one to play with!

Click Me For Results!

Ok, seriously, what are the rules?
The rules are simple:
- Please post your entries in this thread! Include your pirate name, so I know where to find you if you win!
- Write a single line. It should be the opening line to a fictional novel of your choice. It does not necessarily need to be about pirates. One line/sentence/phrase only! Only one period!
- Your line doesn't need to be gramatically correct, but it should be readable.
- Brackets are allowable.
- You are responsible for your own actions. Keep your entries appropiate for a PG-13 forum, or face any consequences the OMs wish to bestow upon you. Have fun, but remember the youngins'.
- One entry per person. This is more paranoia than anything else, but my goal in doing this is to dole out prizes to as many peopl as possible for showing talent, and it would suck if I had to give one person 5 or 6 prizes.
- The event closes at 12:00 Midnight, Pirate Standard Time (PST) on Wednesday, the 12th of April. (When it becomes Thursday the 13th, the event is over.)

Prizes? Come again?
Yes, Prizes.

Bia has graciously donated a trinket (type and colour to be determined), and I'll put up 40k out of my own pocket to bestow upon the various winners. Prizes might be PoE, prizes might be items, prizes might be kicks in the 'nads. Depends on what I think of your entry.

At the moment, I can only offer the 40k of prizes on Midnight, because I just don't play enough on the other oceans. If people would be interested in donating prizes on other oceans (or even still on Midnight), I'd love to hear from you either in this thread, or by PM.


If anyone has any more questions, I'll be glad to answer them :)
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The Ghost of Oceans Past
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[Edit 6 times, last edit by ponytailguy at Apr 21, 2006 6:05:14 PM]
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ponytailguy

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

Some examples of good opening lines:

"It was high noon in the jungles of South India when I began to recognize that if we didn't find water for our emus soon, it wouldn't be long before we would be traveling by foot; and with the guerilla warriors fast on our heals, I was starting to regret my decision to use poultry for transportation."

"The woods were all a-twitter with rumors that the Seven Dwarves were planning a live reunion after their attempted solo careers had dismally sputtered into Z-list oblivion and it was all just a matter of meeting a ten-page list of outlandish demands (including 700-threadcount Egyptian cotton bedsheets, lots of white lilies and a separate trailer for the magic talking mirror) to get the Princess Formerly Known As Snow White on board."

" Patricia wrote out the phrase 'It was a dark and stormy night' exactly seventy-two times, which was the same number of times she stabbed her now quickly-rotting husband, and the same number of pages she ripped out of 'He's Just Not That Into You' by Greg Behrendt to scatter around the room -- not because she was obsessive compulsive, or had any sentimental attachment to the number seventy-two, but because she'd always wanted to give those quacks at CSI a hard time.""

""Why does every task in the Realm of Zithanor have to be a quest?" Baldak of Erthorn, handyman to the Great Wizard Zarthon, asked rhetorically as he began his journey to find the Holy Hammer of Taloria and the Sacred Nail of Ikthillia so Baldak could hang one of Zarthon's mediocre watercolors, which was an art critique Baldak kept to himself unlike his predecessor, whom Zarthon turned into the Picture Frame of Torathank."

"She walked toward him, her dress billowing in the wind -- not a calm and predictable billows like the sea, but more like the billowing of a mildewed shower curtain in a cheap motel where one has to dance around to avoid touching it while trying to rinse off soap."

There's a lot more on this page.
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The Ghost of Oceans Past
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Gaille

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

What constitutes a single line? Your examples were all at least two lines on my monitor; were you not using them as examples of valid entries?
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Gail on the Sage Ocean
My vanity page.
[Mar 29, 2006 10:40:04 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
d4rk0n3

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

=)

Muffbeard: Everywhere =)

It started out just like any other morning, the stale stench of sex and cigarettes permeating into my skin like jello mixed with baby oil after wrestling circus midgets for cab fare the night before, as I managed to stumble my way across the floor obstacled by clumps of a peanut butter and powdered sugar mixture, it was then that I noticed the cymbal monkey wasn't clanging in the corner with it's normal ferocity and I knew it was a bad omen for things to come.
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[Edit 2 times, last edit by d4rk0n3 at Apr 10, 2006 7:51:48 AM]
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ponytailguy

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

 
What constitutes a single line? Your examples were all at least two lines on my monitor; were you not using them as examples of valid entries?
For our purposes, "a single line" means a single phrase. Not necessarily a physical line of text, but rather a single sentence.
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The Ghost of Oceans Past
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kmf

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

The old salt squinted fiercely as he peered down the salt encrusted beach, his vision obscured by the grains of sand whipped into an angry frenzy by the bitter offshore wind like a whirling storm of freshly scratched dandruff harvested from the head of an ill-kempt student, and he felt his stomach twist in anxious knots like a water balloon grasped tightly in the fist of a toddler as he saw her approach.
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kmf
Looterati, Midnight Ocean
Painting Midnight purple, one ship at a time...
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[Edit 2 times, last edit by kmf at Mar 29, 2006 11:07:27 PM]
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Liani

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

The dread curdles in your throat, just like that taste you get in the back of your mouth when really rancid mucous from a sinus infection starts draining, eerily similar to the smell of cornbread batter, baby poop and uncooked extra-butter microwave popcorn.
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Liani,
Ambassador to the Looterati
Captain, Far Too Jolly Rogers
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moon_howl

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

 
=)

It started out just like any other morning, the stale stench of sex and cigarettes permeating into my skin like jello mixed with baby oil after wrestling circus midgets for cab fare the night before, as I managed to stumble my way across the floor obstacled by clumps of a peanut butter and powdered sugar mixture, it was then that I noticed the cymbal monkey wasn't clanging in the corner with it's normal ferocity and I knew it was a bad omen for things to come.

I think that's more than pg-13 mate =P
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Princess of the flag Latin Revolution
Visit Pandaxee's Art Shop and order an avatar! *I will accept money on all oceans*
http://forums.puzzlepirates.com/community/mvnforum/viewthread?p=720520#720520
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moon_howl

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

Allie looked around the palace of dying clouds, here the Almighty One had lived, where floating seas of white were about, small chirps of birds alofted from the air, and the sounds of angels flapping their wings had once been heard.
=)
Pandaxee, Viridian
does it have to be from something? because this is by me...=]
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Princess of the flag Latin Revolution
Visit Pandaxee's Art Shop and order an avatar! *I will accept money on all oceans*
http://forums.puzzlepirates.com/community/mvnforum/viewthread?p=720520#720520
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[Edit 11 times, last edit by moon_howl at Apr 8, 2006 9:22:37 AM]
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moon_howl

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

 
Allie looked around the palace of dying clouds, here the Almighty One had lived, where floating seas of white were about, small chirps of birds alofted [rose] from the air, and the sounds of angels flapping their wings had once been heard.
=)
Pandaxee, Viridian
does it have to be from something? because this is by me...=]


wow, this is good! =D
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Princess of the flag Latin Revolution
Visit Pandaxee's Art Shop and order an avatar! *I will accept money on all oceans*
http://forums.puzzlepirates.com/community/mvnforum/viewthread?p=720520#720520
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Will_Chantry



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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

Feet spread wide to take the roll of the sea and the whip of the wind, grough but gentle hands lightly gripping the sweat smoothed wheel, the Captain, Tatton McChantry, watches,always watches on the moonlit star-studded nights, for a ship; the ship!
Skirmish, Viridian Ocean
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My cutter's better than your cutter!
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[Edit 1 times, last edit by Will_Chantry at Apr 4, 2006 6:12:54 PM]
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neih_neih

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

" The day was silent save for the thud of their horses hooves, no bird sang on a branch, no squirrel chittered, too quiet for the time of year, as though the the forest held its breath."

Hope this is gd enough, just one question though, how are u chosing the winner, just whoever could fine the best line?

Thnx,

Shadowwalker on the Viridian
S.O. of The Army of Darkness
Prince of Armageddon
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Shadowwalker on Viridian
Prince of Legion of Doom
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ponytailguy

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

It's not a question of "finding"... it's a question of writing. Plagiarism is wrong. While not against the rules at this point, I think I've made it amply clear that this is a writing contest, not a research contest.

And the winners will be chosen by a small panel of judges.
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The Ghost of Oceans Past
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neih_neih

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

OHHH, ok well then scratch my entry, i took that from a book, ill come up with my own in a few days, thnx!



Shadowwalker of the Viridian
S.O. of The army of Darkness
Prince of Armageddon
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Shadowwalker on Viridian
Prince of Legion of Doom
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stowaway1693

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

If I had known from the start how things would turn out, I don't believe I would ever have agreed to that favour for Gonzo.




Sisqi -Midnight
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Sisqi

Midnight- now in Phresh Phoenix Phlavour

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[Edit 1 times, last edit by stowaway1693 at Mar 29, 2006 6:54:10 PM]
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Will_Chantry



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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

Mine's original.
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My cutter's better than your cutter!
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Bilgehamster

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

The cursor blinked on the blank page as he sat trying to think of a way to begin to describe the events of the last twenty-four hours which had led to such disparate events as killing a man, and falling in love with a woman so beautiful he still wasn't convinced he hadn't dreamt of her.

Bilgehamster
Midnight Ocean
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Bilgehamster
Senior Officer and Bilgerat of the crew Chrome
Lord of the flag Don't Panic
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moon_howl

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

Mine's original too =]
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Princess of the flag Latin Revolution
Visit Pandaxee's Art Shop and order an avatar! *I will accept money on all oceans*
http://forums.puzzlepirates.com/community/mvnforum/viewthread?p=720520#720520
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Tamsin

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

Mmmm. Lyttony. Bulwery.

I'll toss one clownish and amusing knight into your prize pool. Happy to award on Midnight or Cobalt. Winner chooses which knight they'd like (Armor with spear vs. Armor with sword) along with the color scheme (must only contain red, white, yellow, or blue).

Edit: Changed from dark and stormy to clownish and amusing.
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It's gingerbread and we love it.
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[Edit 1 times, last edit by Tamsin at Mar 31, 2006 6:27:33 AM]
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kth38

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

It was blue, like the fame and glory of oneself who was meant to well but looking at the day ahead, it t'was nothing like today.

Hmm...It sounded alright the 1st time I read it. Oh well
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- Kayh, of the Midnight Ocean
- Kaiian, of the Sage Ocean


Avatar by Cattrin :)
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d4rk0n3

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

 
 
=)

It started out just like any other morning, the stale stench of sex and cigarettes permeating into my skin like jello mixed with baby oil after wrestling circus midgets for cab fare the night before, as I managed to stumble my way across the floor obstacled by clumps of a peanut butter and powdered sugar mixture, it was then that I noticed the cymbal monkey wasn't clanging in the corner with it's normal ferocity and I knew it was a bad omen for things to come.

I think that's more than pg-13 mate =P


Yeah, abuse of peanut butter is very taboo.

P.S. Have you been on the docks recently? ;)
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brazzy

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

It was a bright and clear day; the wind blew in a gentle breeze--except at the times when it stopped completely, causing the sails (for it is on a sailing ship that our scene lies) to go slack and hang unmoving from the yards, and casually revealing the low moans and noxious odor emitted by the sailors who struggled against the plague which had invaded their vessel.

Edit: Godeke on Viridian
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--
http://www.brazzy.de
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[Edit 1 times, last edit by brazzy at Apr 13, 2006 11:41:12 AM]
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Crystal

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

Could you please clarify something for me? There's a Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest elsewhere, the aim of which is to provide the opening sentence for the worst of all possible novels. Is that what you're wanting us to do here? There's nothing in your original post to suggest that you want anything other than a "good" sentence, but discussion suggests that you want horrible sentences. Thanks for your time.
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Crystalclaws of British Sea Power, Midnight Ocean
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ponytailguy

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

 
Could you please clarify something for me? There's a Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest elsewhere, the aim of which is to provide the opening sentence for the worst of all possible novels. Is that what you're wanting us to do here? There's nothing in your original post to suggest that you want anything other than a "good" sentence, but discussion suggests that you want horrible sentences. Thanks for your time.
"Good" is in the eye of the beholder.

I (and my judges) want to be amused. If you amuse us with an epic, awe-inspiringly supreme opening line, you amuse us. If you amuse us with a tragically horrible yet hilarious opening line, you amuse us. Write what you think is most amusing. If comically bad novels are amusing to you, there you go.
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The Ghost of Oceans Past
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goodomen

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

It wasn't a dark and stormy night; it should have been but thats the weather for you, bloody useless

Goodomen, viridian ocean
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goodomen viridian
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[Edit 2 times, last edit by goodomen at Apr 3, 2006 1:03:43 PM]
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Pianoman1125

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

"It was then that I died for the second time that day."

Muffynz
Midnight
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Muffynz
A Cartographer

Member of Crimson Tide
YPPedia Admin
Not-so-secretly conducting the oceans since 2003.
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DirtyBess

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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

I stirred the viscous liquid, watching as it reached smoking point, as always reminded of Quasimodo, that inarticulate, unsightly creature incited by Esmeralda into pouring boiling oil down onto the braying, torch-brandishing mob below, pulling my hat down, wiping a sweaty droplet from my nose as the stranger, bent low (trying to catch my eye), cleared his throat and gave me my orders, "Cod, chips and mushy peas twice, luv."

Dirtybess - Midnight
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Scurvysoo's Avataaaarrrrrrs!
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WeetzieBat



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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

Already an hour late for my cousin's wedding, my two friends and I were running driving down dusty roads searching for the obscure chapel she had chosen, when we stumbled across an old man who reached for me with his skinny hand, drawing me towards his grizzled beard that smelled distinctly of saltwater and fish despite the fact we were in Kansas, and managed to delay me even further under the spell of his glittering eye as he whispered "There was a ship..."

In terms of citing proper sources, these words are my own, however they are inspired by the opening of Coleridge's Rime of the Ancient Mariner. I know you said it didn't have to be pirate themed but I couldn't help myself :-)
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0oBubbleso0



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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

The old hag with Alzheimer's disease hopped to the little girl and squeaked, "Meow" as she stroked the child's blonde head lovingly, thinking it was her deceased husband.


eheh. Yeah that was my masterpeice xD It's a bit frightening if you ask me... ya know, once you picture it out and all o_0 It has nothing to do with YPP... well I guess it could, but you know.

Oh my name is Anisah and I'm on Midnight ;D
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[Edit 1 times, last edit by 0oBubbleso0 at Mar 30, 2006 8:19:59 PM]
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Darkboy108



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Re: [Forums/Midnight] Bulwer-Lyttony Contest

"And so he died."

Lightboy

too bad im on sage ocean.... i couldve sowrn i won the prize already
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