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v76odessa

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Joined: Jun 13, 2005
Posts: 1245
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Best Urmom joke !

Yea since me and Harrjm have been going at It I will have a best urmom joke event.
Event date.

Starts right now untill midnight game time Dec 27th


Rules.

1) Please, forum rules apply. Dont Get banned
2) If you want to actually Direct the insult at somebody please use me.(or Harrjm)
3)More than 1 joke is permitted.
4) Use your heads
5) We have the right to screw you if we dont like you.
6) We have the right to add/change rules as we see fit
7) If the same joke is submitted, the first Pirate gets credit. therefore do not edit your post if you have more jokes. The last timestamp is the one that counts.
8)Other jokes than urmomjokes will be considered.

Judging .

1) A crack panel consisting of 3 expert barnaclestopper pirates, me being one and I will see if the other 2 want thier names here will vote on entrys.


Prizes

1st. 200k, War Frig, 5 black boxes.
2nd. 75k War brig 3 black boxes
3rd 25k sloop 1 black box.

If we do not think there are 3 jokes worthy i will not award the prizes. or just for 1st or just 2nd and 3rd.

If we think there are more than 3 good ones we will give extra prizes out.

If you kill it you maybe awarded familar (tan of some sort)
If you kinda Kill it, a crab or some sort of nice pet will be included depending on how well you kill it.


Cobalt players are welcome, you will just have to get the poe here and wait for the merge !


Edit: pirateifying the joke may score extra points.
Example. urmom is so large and makes enough poe per week that DI has Plans to blockade her.

yea I know that sucked, but I think a piratey one will have a better shot at the fam than a internet joke.
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Vova

Home at Dies Irae.

Harrjm tells you " I always wished I could grow up to be you"
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[Edit 1 times, last edit by v76odessa at Dec 12, 2011 1:02:12 AM]
[Dec 12, 2011 12:17:42 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
harrjm

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Joined: Dec 10, 2003
Posts: 1453
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Urmom's so fat, she is the new ocean for Midnight and Cobalt.

Urmom's so poor, she actually jobs in blockades for the PoE.

Urmom's so dumb, she actually jobs for DI in blockades. haha

Urmom's so dumb, she couldn't hit water when she fell out of the boat.

Urmom's so dumb, she wears a diving helmet in the shower.

Urmom's so ugly, she wears a diving helmet and Vova still won't screw her. :P

Also, I'll take a slot in the panel if you want Vov. :)
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Captain of Gods of War
King of Tyranny
Blockade madman
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[Edit 1 times, last edit by harrjm at Dec 12, 2011 11:25:13 AM]
[Dec 12, 2011 4:35:09 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
krazedpsycho

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Joined: Jun 6, 2009
Posts: 117
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Urmom is so fat she tripped over K-mart and landed on Target
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Devilmaster- Collector of colored chests and grunion ships
[Dec 12, 2011 5:59:40 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Phaerie2

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Joined: May 4, 2010
Posts: 232
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Urmom is so fat, you could park that Grand Frigate between her arse cheeks!
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***********************************
Wallfish says, "I have never been sexually stimulated by a candy cane... maybe I'm using them wrong"
___________________________________
Fray Cray Phae at yer service!
[Dec 12, 2011 6:02:07 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Yearbook50

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Joined: Mar 17, 2008
Posts: 635
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

 

5) We have the right to screw you if we dont


I'm glad I have standards and only screw people I like.
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Yearbook
Cerulean
Queen of Crimson Tide

Rome says, "I don't even have a status of a man"
[Dec 12, 2011 9:21:44 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
randomact

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Joined: Jan 18, 2009
Posts: 2163
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Urmum is so fat, she tries to get you not to like her in an attempt to finally break her drought.
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Loathe/Forever.

Cremate tells ye, "i think i just broke my hymen"
[Dec 12, 2011 9:24:39 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Aeternis

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Joined: Oct 21, 2004
Posts: 1569
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Urmom is so fat that she needs the 7-people vargas background for a passport photo.
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Locu on Cerulean and Opal (and some other Oceans)

Check the Rack at Phakey's Tailor Stall on Tinga for nice clothes!
Locu's Weaving Stall on Tinga and Cranberry

Avatar by Cattrin
[Dec 12, 2011 9:26:34 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
v76odessa

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Joined: Jun 13, 2005
Posts: 1245
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

 
Also, I'll take a slot in the panel if you want Vov. :)


Who did you think I was going to ask first?
Would be a travesty if you where not on this panel!


Edit: To YB, see that is a luxury you have when you are a woman. When your a guy, sometimes......
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Vova

Home at Dies Irae.

Harrjm tells you " I always wished I could grow up to be you"
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[Edit 2 times, last edit by v76odessa at Dec 12, 2011 10:00:05 AM]
[Dec 12, 2011 9:37:34 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
harrjm

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Joined: Dec 10, 2003
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

 
 
Also, I'll take a slot in the panel if you want Vov. :)


Who did you think I was going to ask first?
Would be a travesty if you where not on this panel!

I figured as much. But I want my joke submitted damn it. That's funny stuff. lmao
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Captain of Gods of War
King of Tyranny
Blockade madman
[Dec 12, 2011 9:38:21 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Bdmidnight

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Joined: Dec 2, 2006
Posts: 302
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Urmom's so fat that she can use her arm fat/flab as a toaster over for her hot pockets.
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Bloodydeath
Senior Officer of Rated Arr
Lord of the flag Booching Blaggards
Midnight/Cerulean
[Dec 12, 2011 6:06:10 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
icelord161

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Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Posts: 1007
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Ermm....entries and stuff.

Urmom is so fat, that Midnight can finally load a Friglantis.

Urmom is so fat, that when she went swimming, Harrjm claimed her as a new island.

Urmom is so fat, when she gets on a scale, it says, "To be continued"

Urmom is so fat, she started eatting the crabs on the bilge station.

Urmom is so poor, she begs the bots for PoE.

Urmom is so poor, she has ducks throwing bread to her.

Urmom is so dumb, she asked Charlie Sheen for career advice.

Urmom is so fat, she gets upset when she finds gold in the forage puzzle.
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-Zarchi
-King of Universe A
-Avatar by Cattrin
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[Edit 3 times, last edit by icelord161 at Dec 13, 2011 1:24:40 PM]
[Dec 12, 2011 10:15:45 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Immaboss



Joined: Aug 25, 2009
Posts: 194
Status: Offline

Re: Best Urmom joke !

Urmom is so dirty and fat she went swimming in the ocean and BP Hastings thought they had another oil spill.

Urmom is so dumb she let Harrjm on her blockade nav team.

Urmom is so poor she did navy missions for the PoE.
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Immastar on Meridian and Cerulean
[Dec 13, 2011 1:16:46 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Armitron23

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Joined: Feb 2, 2008
Posts: 332
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

 
Urmom is so dumb she let Harrjm on her blockade nav team.


You should be disqualified.
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Yankeejr of Cerulean Ocean
[Dec 13, 2011 4:24:07 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Yearbook50

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Joined: Mar 17, 2008
Posts: 635
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Urmom is so dumb, she let a fresh greenie gun.
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Yearbook
Cerulean
Queen of Crimson Tide

Rome says, "I don't even have a status of a man"
[Dec 13, 2011 4:35:55 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Camen4

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Joined: Dec 11, 2008
Posts: 184
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

your moma is so poor i lit a match in her house and roaches starting sing clap your hand stop your feet praise the lord we got heat.

Cobalt-Camen
midnight-Camen

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Camen on Cerulean (Cobalt)
[Dec 13, 2011 6:11:32 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
laurelweezle

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Joined: Jan 27, 2006
Posts: 179
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Ur mom is so fat, they needed a boat bigger than a grand frig for the merge, so they named it after her.

Ur mom is so stupid, it took her 2 hours to job in a cade for 60 minutes.

[More later heheh]
[Dec 13, 2011 9:33:05 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
killducky

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Joined: Jan 5, 2008
Posts: 188
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

ur moms so fat they use her boogers when the ship is out of large cannon balls.

your mom is so fat she uses grand frigs as shoes

ur mom is so dumb she spent half a day talking to an inn bot.
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Darkabyss, Senior Officer of Scupper Me Booty


As the sea is beautiful not only in calm but also in storm, so is happiness found not only in peace but also in strife.
[Dec 14, 2011 2:45:30 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
boback

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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Your mums so fat, Brisky loaded a WF and put 22 up her arse

Your mums so fat and stupid , she opened a SC and ate a ghostling thinking it was cotton candy

Your mums so fat i burnt my ass on the lightbulb when screwing her

Your mums so fat, the BK's scuttle her as a shield
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Orbsus

Official Serenity Forum Spokesman
[Dec 14, 2011 3:51:42 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
MagnaKnight

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Joined: Feb 26, 2006
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

 
Urmom is so fat, that when she went swimming, Harrjm claimed her as a new island.



Freaking AWESOME!!! and true >.>
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Flames - Midnight extremist
Deadachmed - Kraken slayer

Looking for one of Tailor, Distillery, Apoth and Furnisher Shoppes on Gaea.
[Dec 14, 2011 6:17:32 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Heeb5



Joined: Aug 16, 2011
Posts: 45
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

 
 
Urmom is so fat, that when she went swimming, Harrjm claimed her as a new island.



Freaking AWESOME!!! and true >.>


This.
[Dec 14, 2011 7:56:36 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Briggsy1979

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Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 124
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

your mums so fat her Crew Photo needs to be taken by google earth.

your mums so fat your dad has to roll her in flour and prod her with a stick to find the wet patch.

your mums so ugly she must have played bobbing for apples in acid
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Briggsy
S.O of the Ride the Lightening
Cobalt Ocean, Now Cerulean

Oversteer = hitting the dock with the stern, Understeer = hitting the dock with the bow, Sheet's = how fast you hit the dock, Mast's = how much of the dock you take with you. :)
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[Edit 1 times, last edit by Briggsy1979 at Dec 14, 2011 10:07:50 AM]
[Dec 14, 2011 10:02:58 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
bkny612

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Re: Best Urmom joke !

yer moms so fat she wore a Red Cross t-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on her
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Kill your brother, you'll feel better-----Edgar Frogg (The Lost Boys)

Freak
Captain of Freakshow(a non-crew)
King of Carnival Of Oddities(a non-flag)
AVATAR BY MOLASSES
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[Edit 1 times, last edit by bkny612 at Dec 14, 2011 10:09:45 AM]
[Dec 14, 2011 10:09:25 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
mrgaz1980

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Joined: Dec 22, 2006
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

urmom is so fat, when she blockades her influence ring is 6 servers.
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Devill, capt of Mutiny,
Former Bitch of DI.
[Dec 14, 2011 9:24:10 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Ilyarus2004

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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Your mom is so fat when she saw a school bus she chased it down the street screaming "TWINKIE!!!!!"
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Ilya on most of the oceans,
Russian on Midnight.

Hypnos tells ye, "i burn u"

Avatars by Silverransom, Domokun, Shortyjack and Tilinka!
[Dec 14, 2011 10:56:35 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Ajsboy

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Joined: Oct 20, 2006
Posts: 140
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

urmom is so fat that other, smaller pirates orbit around her.
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Ajsboy
Captain of the Midnight Reavers
Avatar by the Extremely Talented DarkFaery
I've tried my hands at 1Puzzle tutorials[
[Dec 15, 2011 6:08:01 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
harrjm

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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Urmom is so fat, when she logs in the population goes to 1000.
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Captain of Gods of War
King of Tyranny
Blockade madman
[Dec 15, 2011 6:43:38 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Raider81

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Joined: Jul 20, 2003
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Not the greatest joke but I actually created myself and was quite proud of it during the time.


Your moms hair is so Oily BP (British Petroleum) is asking her advice on how to handle the spill.
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Crip- Cerulean
Crip- Cobalt
Raider- Midnight
Raider- Azure

Galene tells ye, "Glad you have a sense of humor. Nice to give you a little trouble for all the trouble you have given us!"
[Dec 15, 2011 8:19:44 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Gabo9

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Re: Best Urmom joke !

 
your moma is so poor i lit a match in her house and roaches starting sing clap your hand stop your feet praise the lord we got heat.

Cobalt-Camen
midnight-Camen


Now this one made me laugh out loud!

Jeasilver
[Dec 16, 2011 8:11:09 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Gabo9

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Re: Best Urmom joke !

Urmom is so skinny, her and Achmed look like twins!


Jeasilver
[Dec 16, 2011 8:18:13 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
icepyro13



Joined: Feb 25, 2006
Posts: 169
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Re: Best Urmom joke !

ur mom so poor she makes Mricey look rich! xD

ur momma so old the only familiar she can wear is the skellie monkey! xD

ur momma so fat her tailor shop is for HER only! xD

ur momma so fat she Grand Frig pillys BY HERSELF! xD
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Mricey of Midnight Ocean
[Dec 16, 2011 9:54:18 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
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