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Nemesis
OceanMaster
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Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Winners announced!] Reply to this Post
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Winners announcement!
What are we doing? Celebrating Anti-Valentines!
How do we play? Create your own Limerick using a lovelorn or pro-singles theme!
Why do we do this? Because love stinks!
When do I have to do this? February 16th, 11:59pm

The prizes
* Black things!
* Solo items!
* Definitely not lovey-dovey things!
* Celebratory things but probably with an attitude!
* A ship with an anti-Valentine related name!
* Portraits! Probably with Nemesis!
* Shiny Sun Points!
As I have done previously (we all know I stole this from Apollo by now, right?), I'm keeping prizes flexible, depending on the quantity and quality of entries. Ready to punch Love in the guts? Here's more information:

The details
* Create a Limerick with a funny anti-Valentine theme. Failed love, funny rejections, empowerment for singles, whatever you like as long as it's funny, not love-y!
* Keep it (relatively) clean! If it wouldn't be allowed in the game on on these forums, don't risk it! I'll still probably laugh (I might be a 13 year old boy), but I'd have to disqualify it if it's too naughty.
* You may have up to three entries (total of 3 aabba). They can all flow together or be three separate limericks and should be posted in the same post.
* Please include your pirate name and ocean in your entry post.
* These should be funny! Dry, dark, slapstick - you pick the type of humor, but it must be funny!
* Any questions? Be sure to ask!

----------------------------------------
Hera says, "I wish I was awesome enough to be on #TeamEvil!"
Later...
Hera says, "And the sorry thing is, I can't remember if I said, or didn't say, that."
----------------------------
Avatar by Scythera
----------------------------------------
[Edit 2 times, last edit by Nemesis at Feb 26, 2016 8:17:08 PM]
[Feb 15, 2016 9:20:38 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
wuppypuppy2

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Anti Valentine's Limericks???
An event after my cynical little poet's heart.

My entry:

I met a smooth guy yesterday,
Who composed a romantic display:
He called me his rose,
And he kissed at my nose,
Until I was willing to stay.

But later that night at his place,
I found out I'd made a mistake.
I pulled back the covers,
And found two more lovers--
He wanted a full-on bouquet!

-Wayfarer of Meridian
----------------------------------------
Wayfarer of Meridian
Escapist artist
----------------------------------------
[Edit 1 times, last edit by wuppypuppy2 at Feb 15, 2016 10:37:48 AM]
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Dexla

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Dexla ~ Cerulean

There once was a pirate from Midnight
Whose lovers, she often would smite
With a wave of her hand
In the gutter, they'd land
As she stood by and laughed with delight!

Along came a young man from Hunter
And chose HER booty to plunder!
What happened that night
Left him frozen with fright...
What happened? We'll just have to wonder!

This story of love is a warning:
To those of you Cupid is scorning-
Drink a bottle, or two
It could've happened to you!
At least you'll be fine in the morning.
----------------------------------------
Dexla d'Midnight
----------------------------------------
[Edit 2 times, last edit by Dexla at Feb 15, 2016 4:13:52 PM]
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mooshoufunk

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Mandiemo- Cerulean

Love stinks (and so do Mandie's feet, ew):

Young Mandie o'the seas, wondrous beauty in sight
Whose heart broke a little each night
See them running and jumping
Climb through windows, crawl through plumbing
As her feet gave the men a great fright.

Now just to be fair
This young lady could wear
A stocking as thick as a towel
The men couldn't tell, if her feet smelled so foul
But they looked like they belonged to a bear!
----------------------------------------
Mandie-mo
Free-spirited pirate of the night, Midnight now Cerulean.

Mandie on Obsidian


Murasaki wrote: 

I like big butts and I can not lie.

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Taskbeta

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Bisca - Emerald.

1.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Valentine's stinks
And so do you!

2.
Valentines day, I sit at the bar.
It's past twelve o'clock
But my house aint that far.
A guy comes up to me and says;
On valentines day, all by your own?
All I can say is;
That's how I roll, now walk along.

3.
I'm a pirate
For a living I sail, steal and plunder
February for me is a month full of thunder.
Pirates don't need flowers or kisses.
All pirates need, is a chest full of riches!

Written at 4.30am. Forgive me if they're horrid ^^
----------------------------------------
Bisca - Emerald & Obsidian

Avvy by: Wayfarer
----------------------------------------
[Edit 4 times, last edit by Taskbeta at Feb 15, 2016 7:38:14 PM]
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Kuroge

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Kuroge of Emerald

Toilet paper on the table a mess,
my leather wallet I assume has less,
but a note on the floor
with a heart adore,
I still love you... I guess?
----------------------------------------
Kuroge from Emerald
----------------------------------------
[Edit 2 times, last edit by Kuroge at Feb 16, 2016 12:59:54 AM]
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Crazymg

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Princessmg of Emerald

1
According to pirate lore,
When lost at sea don't ever lose an oar!
Or your love will leave,
Taking your cat Steve,
As soon as you finally wash ashore.

2
I went to see a witch for a love potion,
She made such a fuss and commotion.
Turtle dove hearts and toad bile.
I've never smelled anything so vile.
She handed me the bottle and said "apply like lotion".
----------------------------------------
~Princessmg~
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basement123

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Pnckecookie of Meridian

Love a good poetry competition!

1.
There was a young pirate needing more
Whose heart was feeling rather sore
Instead of seeking treasure
All he wanted was a lady of pleasure
But instead he got a Labrador.

2.
There was a man whom she would adore
But he would never come ashore
He would pillage and plunder
Even through the thunder
Before going out to war.

3.
Along came a pirate called Cook
He had a rusty old hook
He loved Queen Ever
She was awfully clever
But she stole his cheque book.
----------------------------------------
Roses are red, Canada is purple, I suck at poems, Refrigerator.

Pnckecookie - Meridian

Cheerleader of Coming Soon

Avatar by Velternal <3
----------------------------------------
[Edit 2 times, last edit by basement123 at Feb 16, 2016 3:26:00 AM]
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Kevinstar

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Kevinstar Meridian

1.
I use to be in love
With someone I thought the world of
Until one day
We got in a fray
And they had to be disposed of

2.
I asked her to be my valentine
But ended up on dateline
I was blue that night
And got a fright
Oh snap I look like Frankenstein

3.
Jingle Bells
Love smells
My heart is black and cold
Romance is dead and uncontrolled
I think I’d prefer to spend my days is citadel's
----------------------------------------
[Edit 1 times, last edit by Kevinstar at Feb 16, 2016 11:02:33 PM]
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patrys12

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Alpha of Emerald

OHH - mine isnt funny :( its seriously dark

Lost ... in the house of hate
there was a price to be paid, a heart at stake
Searching in the dark corridor
the only light, a broken door
what will be my fate?

Learn ... through the mistakes you've made
golden lessons ... fade
You have kidnapped my heart
and pierced it with a dart
darkness and sorrow, my fate

T'is my blood .. through your fingers .. sewn
your back turned on me, my love overthrown
you walked away, left me an empty stage
hoping i would turn the page
my heart in pieces .. in heartache - i drown
----------------------------------------
- xxx Alpha xxx -
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Tinnitus



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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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All set up the perfect romantic day
The finale - sunset by the bay
Alas she bailed
A note was mailed
The reason - she'd rather crochet

Thus baffled he proceeded to think
Of how to get out of the fink
Aha! he cried
Since love has died
Sweet revenge - lots of spilt ink!

Tinnitus of emerald
This was fun!
[Feb 16, 2016 7:27:04 AM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
CapnKkatz

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Greyladyy of Cerulean

1.
L-ove is what the girly tries to give me,
O-nly kiss me once and you will see!
V-ery nearly makes me hurl,
E-very single stinkin' girl,
R-eally rum's the only love for me!


2.
Tall or short or fat or thin,
Know my heart you'll never win,
My lips be wasted
If yours they tasted,
They only have lust for gin.

3.
Valentine's Day? Bah! Who cares?
I lust only for booty shares!
Give me yer money!
Not yer sweet honey!
I'm a pirate my dear, so beware!

----------------------------------------
Greylady, Meridian & Emerald, Greyladyy on Cerulean

"In a courtroom, it is not the loudest voice that prevails...it's the Constitution." WA AG
Avatar by the lovely Adrielle
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SaviourS

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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A heart full of love to be given
Many times has he tried with women
Attempts all in vain
Left with nothing but pain
Yet at the end of the day he remains striven

To find the woman right for his heart
With whom he should never be apart
Try as he may
Until this very day
No one seemed like his perfect counterpart

Another Valentine's day on his own
Mad at the world, as he began to moan:
"Oh gods from the heavens above
Why am I unable to find love"
And that is the story of forever alone.

Saviour, Meridian
Ayy this is kinda fun
----------------------------------------
Saviour, Meridian
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kristians6

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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I once knew a pirate named Doomy
And on Valentine's Day he was gloomy
He wanted this booty
but he was slightly fruity
So instead he looked right through me

Celebrate
Meridian
----------------------------------------
[Edit 1 times, last edit by kristians6 at Feb 16, 2016 1:11:37 PM]
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Haptic5

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Daydreaming our life together,
With her by my side forever;
I painstakingly wrote,
My feelings on note
For Valentine's day to deliver.

Dressed in my finest attire,
I sailed to the lady I admire.
Flashed her a smile,
Hoping all the while
Today she'd be mine to acquire.

But alas my efforts were in vain,
An interest she didn't even feign.
My tells were ignored,
It left me abhorred.
If only it weren't for her white name!

Gratte of Emerald
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Halfbrain5

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Doggbreath
Cerulean

There once was an old man so cheap
That girlfriends he never could keep.
He gave them stale candy
And watered down brandy
They told him “Get lost you old creep.”

There once was a lover named Fred
With very few brains in his head.
He made love to a bear
Asleep in her lair
And now he is known as dead Fred.

As Valentine’s treat foolish Jack
Took his wife out to eat a Big Mac.
The look on her face
Was such a disgrace
That he left and he never came back.
----------------------------------------
Doggbreath, Rogues Riding Sell me your ink! any Cerulean island 500/unit

Yer daily horoscope reads: Investing in insane dogs will result in good health

Ohiya says, "By the way how many curly toads does it take to make curly toad slippers
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joandart

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Herowena of Cerulean

St. Valentine's Day is so boring
With public displays of love soaring
Young couples out-doing
Each other in wooing
Leaves me with the urge to be snoring

When pink is your most hated color
The day doesn't fill your heart fuller
The tedious hours
Of sweet cards and flowers
Serve only to make the time duller

That Cupid's a grandiose bragger
With pirate-y levels of swagger
Unendingly sharing
His stories of pairing
Or was, 'til he met with my dagger
----------------------------------------
Herowena of Cerulean
Still Sleeping With The Fishes

Dexla drew it.
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Minsiem

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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A day devoted to sentiment.
Inflates sales for breath mints.
From working the seas,
One must spray Febreze.
And don't forget some ointment.

Now ye be ready to strut it,
But pickings are slim, like fish gutted.
Perhaps it'd behoove ye,
To find yer love's bloom be-
Fore her finger's yet studded.

Courage mustered, though shaken,
Ye valiantly strive for a stake in,
The hand of this lass,
But alack! Alas!
Why are all the good ones taken?


-Minsiem of Cerulean
(Love smells like Moonlight OrchidTM )
----------------------------------------
Minsiem, Like A Fox
Nimbelina, Any Minute Now

I believe in a Higher Purple!

Erfan flag officer chats, "let's cade a popular forage island"

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Quansha

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Quansha on Emerald

There once were two pirates from Doyle
Whose love was destined to spoil
On a Valentine's day
It had wasted away
But their hatred had come to a boil

Their behaviour was foul and outrageous
And so vile that it soon turned contagious
The mayhem would spread
Until the governor plead
"Take this poison to end all the chaos!"

With a newfound mutual devotion
To avoid the island's implosion
They each took a swig
And in one final jig
Whisked to separate sides of the ocean
----------------------------------------
Quansha on Emerald
----------------------------------------
[Edit 1 times, last edit by Quansha at Feb 16, 2016 11:21:03 PM]
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budclare2

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [Deadline: Feb 16, 11:59pm] Reply to this Post
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Budclare, Meridian

There once was a greenie named Ranger,
who couldn't spot Valentine's danger;
his gift was too tame
and he misspelled her name
so sent the doubloons to a stranger.
----------------------------------------
Budclare on Meridian

I want a cookie.

(Imp turned me into a dolly! :D)
[Feb 16, 2016 11:55:03 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Nemesis
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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [In Judging] Reply to this Post
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The Winners!
1st : Gratte (Emerald) - A sloop named Sailing Solo and a portrait! - Delivered!
2nd : Budclare (Meridian) - A quiet evening at home with a good book (some comfy reading furniture) and an outfit of my choice! - Delivered!
3rd : Greyladyy (Cerulean) - Dinner reservation for one! (dining furniture) and an outfit of my choice! - Delivered!
Runner Ups
Wayfarer (Meridian) - A black daisy and a fish skeleton! - Delivered!
Pnckecookie (Meridian) - A black daisy and a fish skeleton! - Delivered!
Quansha (Emerald) - A black daisy and a fish skeleton! - Delivered!
Herowena (Cerulean) - A black daisy and a fish skeleton! - Delivered!
Dexla (Cerulean) - A black daisy and a fish skeleton! - Delivered!

Prizes will be delivered in the next week (barring catastrophe!) for everything except ships and portraits. For ships and portraits, please petition letting me know when you'll be available and we'll schedule a time. Use "Nemesis - Love Stinks" as the subject!
SHINY SUN POINTS
Gratte (Emerald) - 5 Shiny Sun Points!
Budclare (Meridian) - 3 Shiny Sun Points!
Greyladyy (Cerulean) - 3 Shiny Sun Points!
Wayfarer (Meridian) - 1 Shiny Sun Points!
Pnckecookie (Meridian) - 1 Shiny Sun Points!
Quansha (Emerald) - 1 Shiny Sun Points!
Herowena (Cerulean) - 1 Shiny Sun Points!
Dexla (Cerulean) - 1 Shiny Sun Points!



----------------------------------------
Hera says, "I wish I was awesome enough to be on #TeamEvil!"
Later...
Hera says, "And the sorry thing is, I can't remember if I said, or didn't say, that."
----------------------------
Avatar by Scythera
----------------------------------------
[Edit 5 times, last edit by Nemesis at Feb 29, 2016 5:02:41 AM]
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budclare2

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [In Judging] Reply to this Post
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My first thought was "Wait, I wrote a limerick?" (It's been a long month.)

Thanks! :D

Congratulations, everyone. :)
----------------------------------------
Budclare on Meridian

I want a cookie.

(Imp turned me into a dolly! :D)
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CapnKkatz

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Re: Anti-Valentine's Doodle: Love Stinks! [In Judging] Reply to this Post
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Thank ye so much Nemesis for selecting my entry for 3rd place, and congrats to all of the other winners!

I went to check out my prizes, and found a multitude of beautifully wrapped and ribboned prezzies in my booty! Lol, I want to see the outfit, but may just wait awhile as the prezzies look so pretty! Thanks again!
----------------------------------------
Greylady, Meridian & Emerald, Greyladyy on Cerulean

"In a courtroom, it is not the loudest voice that prevails...it's the Constitution." WA AG
Avatar by the lovely Adrielle
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Dexla

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Awesome! Thank you! Congrats to the winners! I had a great time reading them all!
----------------------------------------
Dexla d'Midnight
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budclare2

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*COUGHcouldihavegirlclothesplease?COUGH*

<3
----------------------------------------
Budclare on Meridian

I want a cookie.

(Imp turned me into a dolly! :D)
[Feb 27, 2016 5:39:23 PM] Show Printable Version of Post        Send Private Message [Link]  Go to top 
Nemesis
OceanMaster
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*COUGHcouldihavegirlclothesplease?COUGH*

<3

I don't know why I keep doing that! Will correct shortly.
----------------------------------------
Hera says, "I wish I was awesome enough to be on #TeamEvil!"
Later...
Hera says, "And the sorry thing is, I can't remember if I said, or didn't say, that."
----------------------------
Avatar by Scythera
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joandart

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Oh, yay! I overlooked that this one was judged. Nice job, everyone!
----------------------------------------
Herowena of Cerulean
Still Sleeping With The Fishes

Dexla drew it.
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budclare2

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*COUGHcouldihavegirlclothesplease?COUGH*

<3

I don't know why I keep doing that! Will correct shortly.

You're just trying to start a cross-dressing trend...which would probably work if it were physically possible. :(

2016. Still no girl!fezes. :(
----------------------------------------
Budclare on Meridian

I want a cookie.

(Imp turned me into a dolly! :D)
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