|Welcome Guest | Login|
|Index | Recent Threads | Register | Search | Help | | View Unanswered Threads|
|Forums » List all forums » Forum: The Mariner's Muse » Thread: <Insert Name Here> - Entry Thread|
Thread Status: Locked
Total posts in this thread: 80
|[Add To My Favorites] [Watch this Thread] [Post new Thread]|
stocked and painted sloop
bronze neckband rare furniture
(trinkets in regular order)
Amelia Earhart...In an adventure with PIRATES
Some people say Amelia was taken by aliens some say she was taken to Atlantis. They are all wrong. Here is the real story...
It was a bright and sunny day and Amelia was about to take her world changing flight across the world. Little did she know it would change the world in a different way than she had in mind.
Bad weather came soon. Amelia Earhart's fuel tank started to run low. At 7:42 AM she sent this message"We must be on you, but we cannot see you. Fuel is running low. Been unable to reach you by radio. We are flying at 1,000 feet."
Soon they crashed in the middle of the ocean. Glass was everywhere. Luckily, Amelia was unharmed except for a few minor cuts, scrapes,and bruises. However, the same could not be said for her partner, Fred Noonan. When she looked back at him there was a piece of glass impaled through his eye. A sudden cry broke the stillness,"Ahoy there lass!" Amelia looked up. "What is that strange contraption?" It was a pirate. "My plane," she replied ,"which has crash landed in this ocean." "My My," murmured the pirate "Be there any snakes on it?" He did not wait for her reply. Instead he Commanded to the rest of hid crew to "haul er' up"
"Welcome to my sloop, The Burning Barracuda,I painted her a lovely shade of red, all by me self,"Declared the pirate,"and my name is Gary Green-beard." "Why do you call yourself that," She pondered,"When your beard is not the slightest green?" "Because the lice on the other side of my beard are," he replied grinning a horrible grin showing teeth which looked as if holes were burned through them with a flaming spear(which they probably were)."I see your matey had a little problem there!" Green Beard exclaimed. "My name is Amelia Earhart," she declared,"and he,Green beard, was my partner,Fred Noonan."(then she told them their mission, which direction they were coming, from and when they left) "Well shiver me timbers we just happened to be shooting a flare in your direction
The year happens to be 1425 me lass," Green beard said.
"h...h...ho...how....bu..bu.b.bb.bbb.but...how?" Stammered Amelia
"Stop your jibber-jabberin nonsense and meet me scientist first class(as well as one of his officers)A pirate with 3 wooden peg legs all on the same leg as well as 2 eye patches started explaining,"well the quadrilateral by patterns of the black powder explosion caused in a quantum merging causing the time matrix to overlap across itself normally it would shift back to normal but in this case the fuel coming from Amelia's plane was in the exact area where the flare exploded causing a temporal shift which turned into a portal that was reasonably small but the blades from the rotor of your planes caused a hyper flux relay to occur. In short, The dang flare caused your dang plane to open up a time portal.
Suddenly a shout was heard on the starboard side of the ship ,"Were under fire!" Suddenly a melee broke across the crew and Amelia was knocked out cold...
The ship sank with everyone in it and everyone died (including the enemy's crew)
The End... now go by me another bottle o' rum you lily livered scoundrel!
George Washingtons Encounter With pirates
The year was 1776, George Washington was positioning his troops for battle, Then suddenly, they were attacked by a shipload of marauding pirates! Washington ordered his troops, prepare for battle, men! As the pirates poured out of the ship. Washingtons men fought valiantly, but the pirates were able to take their commander, George Washington, and get away aboard their ship, the Great Gale. His troops despaired at the sight of their commander being captured by the grotesque horde of pirates.
Later, George Washington finds himself down in the ships prisoner hold guarded by two ferocious looking pirates. George knows he has to find away out. He then thinks of everything he has to use on him. Then, he feels the metal of his pistol in his jacket, courtesy of the guards that stupidly forgot to disarm him. Now he has a plan, and will put it into action very soon.
When he wakes up, it is about time to activate his scheme. Now, one of the guards comes in with his food, he opens the cell, and thats when the guard finds his head coming off his shoulders with a pistol bullet in his head. Then, he picks up one of the pirates many swords, and kills the other guard before he sounds an alarm. Now, George has the whole below deck to come up with a plan.
While hes searching the below deck, he finds pistol ammunition, rope, and handcuffs, which he uses to brainstorm his next brilliant plan to take out the whole crew. He then sneaks up to the poop deck, comes up behind the captain, and binds, knocks out, and handcuffs the captain. Then, he points his pistol at the captain yells his threat across the ship, Bring me back to shore or your so-called captain dies! All the pirates oblige to the order in fear of being captainless.
Later, the pirates decide to see if George Washington can live up to his threats. They decide to attack him straight on to take back over the ship. Then Washington hears a pirate yell Attaaaaaaack! Then, all the pirates go straight for Washington, armed to the teeth. Then, Washington says I warned you! click-click-click Huh? The guns empty! then, while they are all distracted, the captain unties himself, due to Washingtons bad knots and unlocked handcuffs. Then the captain says as they were saying, Ataaaaaack! Soon after the fighting subsides, Washington finds himself tied to the mast, a much more visible position, so there is no escape for him this time.
Later, he sees the coast covered in guns pointed at the Great Gale. They were obviously expecting the pirates to return. Once the pirates see all the guns pointed at them, they panic madly. And sort of obviously, are shot at and burned down while Washington cries out in vain.
Later, on shore, one of the men sees a dead body washed up. He the goes around yelling, Washington is dead! Come see for yourself if you dont believe me! Everyone follows him and looks in horror at the dead corpse of George Washington. Then, the second in command says I accidentally killed Washington!
A few days later, they all get to go see the second in command get hung in place of the already dead pirate captain.
So everything wrapped up happily. Right? Am I right?
Prizes in order of preference
1.Sloop stocked and painted
3. Bronze Neckband rare furniture
4. Sleeping turtle
5. Nautilus Shell trinket
6.Lily trinket (blue
8. Parrot feather trinket
Nashy of the Sage ocean
Lubricant on Sage
It messed up a little
Lubricant on Sage
Honus Wagner in an Adventure with Pirates
by Bertram of Tinga, Midnight Ocean
If anyone trying to make it to the big leagues today wanted one piece of advice from me, I'd tell him, "Keep your eye on the ball." But if anyone who has already made it asked me for advice, I'd tell him, "Don't miss the train." The one time I did, I nearly missed the 1909 World Series, too.
We finished up that season in Cincinnati and a lot of the boys wanted to go out and celebrate winning the pennant. Our skipper, Fred Clarke, said he didn't care as long as we were at the train station by 11:15. So we all went out to this one bar, and then some of us left and moved on to another, and then a smaller bunch of us left the second bar and went on to a third, and so on until, by eleven o' clock, I was in my sixth or seventh bar and all alone. Well, I didn't want to miss that train, so I headed out the door and back toward the station, and after walking a dozen or so blocks, I realized that I had no idea where it was. Fortunately, I had wandered back to bar number three, so I went in to see if any of the boys were still there.
"Are there any Pirates here?" I asked the bartender.
He nodded and said they were in the back room. So I went into the back room and something hit me in the head. I saw stars and then everything went black.
After a while, I started hearing birds. I opened my eyes, and there was a seagull squawking by my head. For a second, it looked like he was thinking about taking a bite out of my ear, but a shadow passed over me and scared him away.
The shadow belonged to a tall man with a scar running from his right eye to his jaw. He was wearing the biggest hat I ever saw, so at first, I thought he might be the train conductor.
"Get up and get to work, ye drunkard!" he shouted at me. "There be no layabouts on the Marauding Minnow!"
I was feeling a bit dazed from the drinking and the blow to the head the night before, so I nearly asked him if this was the train to Pittsburgh, but when I stood up, I could see that it wasn't. We were on a ship and there was no land in sight.
Well, the pirates tried to teach me sailing, but I couldn't pick it up. I can play infield, outfield -- I've even pitched a game or two -- but I was no good at climbing masts and I never did figure out which rope to pull when the skipper gave the order to hoist a sail. Some men are cut out to be ball players and some are cut out to be sailors, and I just wasn't a sailor.
I can't say I really wanted to make the team, but I sure didn't want the skipper to cut me. I had a feeling that when he cuts a man, the man stays cut. I was getting desperate by the end of the day, when they tried me out on cannon duty. They'd already seen me push the capstan the wrong way and get my foot caught in a coil of rope, so they didn't trust me to aim the cannon or even pour the powder in, but the skipper thought I might be able to handle the ramrod. I told him I would be the best ramrodder on the team, and I got to live for another day.
Well, the next morning I got the chance to make good on my promise, and I didn't do too badly. It was all about timing, and as long as I made sure everyone's fingers were clear before I tamped the wadding into the gun, nobody complained. We were going along at a good clip, firing balls at the other team about once or twice a minute, when suddenly they fired back and ripped a big hole in the side of the ship just beside where I was standing.
At first I was scared, 'cause those balls weighed about 12 pounds, and one of them had nearly hit me. I wondered if I could ask the skipper to trade me to another team. When they fired at us again, though, I got a good look at 'em and realized those balls weren't coming in any faster than a Christy Mathewson fastball. So on the next pitch, I stayed in there and smacked their cannon ball back at them with my ramrod. It was a sharp hit -- if it had found the gap between first and second, it would have been a single -- but the ocean caught it easily. You see, infield grounders wouldn't do it in that league. I needed to concentrate on line drives and fly balls.
I fouled off two before I found my swing, but after that it was just drive after drive right into their ship. I had plenty of time to see 'em coming and they were all fastballs. Anyone who ever tried to hit Mathewson's fadeaway or Mordecai Brown's curve ball is always grateful to see a fastball down the middle. After I'd knocked a couple dozen back at 'em, they ran up the white flag and I knew we'd won the game.
That's when I remembered that I was supposed to be working at the gun, not taking batting practice. The boys at my gun hadn't gotten a shot in since I'd started using their ramrod as a bat. Then I realized that no one on our ship had fired a shot in the last ten minutes and I looked around and saw that everybody on the whole team was just staring at me.
Well, the skipper came up to me and I figured he was gonna cut out my liver, 'cause that's what he said he would do if I messed up, but he just laid a hand on my shoulder, sorta the way you would pet a porcupine, and said that he thought I'd done a real nice job of intimidating the other side, but that he and his boys liked to play the game a little differently, and so he was gonna give me my paycheck and take me to the nearest port, and I could go back to playing for the Pittsburgh Pirates because the pirates on the Marauding Minnow could see that I was out of their league.
So I did finally take a train to Pittsburgh but I had to take one from Boston instead of Cinicinnati like I'd planned. I made it to the clubhouse a couple hours before the first game of the Series.
"What happened to you in Cinicinnati?" Clarke asked me.
"I missed the train," I said.
He grunted and said, "You're batting fourth today."
That was it. He didn't even fine me.
1. Painted sloop.
3. Sleeping Turtle.
4. Bronze Neckband.
5. Nautilus Shell.
8. Parrot feather.
Joined: Dec 18, 2006
Charles Schulz in an adventure with pirates!
By SonicBattle, Hunter Ocean
Charles was laying on his bed one fine morning preparing to get up, eat some breakfast and write some more Peanuts comics. He was beginning to draw Snoopy's head when he heard a knock on his door.
"Aye! There he is captin!"
"Quick! Get 'em!!"
Charles woke up to find himself staring face to face with a monkey.
"Aye! He awakens!"
Charles stared at the man with a bandana, smelly clothes and a pirate hat straight in the eyes.
"Oh I get it! Its halloween!"
His faced reddened as he got ready to walk back to his house and get candy.
"Aye captain? Isn't it June?"
"I believe it is Spud, Yes, I believe it is."
"Aye Charles! Don't walk off the ship! We set out to s--"
*30 minutes later*
"I guess I AM with pirates," Charles said to himself, getting up. "Wonder why the want me though"
The captain walked in 5 minutes later. He looked out the window.
"The ocean looks nicer on the Chaotic Crasher huh Charles?"
"Why do you want me?"
"Aye we take it you write things about adventures you had with a bald headed kid, a dog, a snotty girl, a kid who carrys around a blanket and some more people?"
"No........... Those are just comics!"
"But... We wanted you cause we wanted the dog that could gun people down!"
"IT'S A STUPID COMIC!!"
"AYE!! CREW!! WE HAVE SOMEONE WHO WON'T AGREE!"
Charles ran out the door and jumped into the water, a piece of wood in hand.
"I have to get out of here!" Charles thought as he swam away from the boat.
The boat came nearer. "YOU WON'T MAKE IT!!" All the pirates screamed laughing at the helpless loser.
````````````````````````````````````````5 years later````````````````````````````````````````
A boat set out to sea. With a determined look, a captain was going to get some one named Charles Schulz.
Stocked and painted Sloop
Joined: Mar 22, 2005
John Wayne in an Adventure with Pirates
by Baldo of the Midnight Ocean
Another profitable day at sea I thought while walking toward the notice board. After last night's poker walloping, I found myself hungry, broke, and in great need of more quickly gained, ill-gotten PoE. Upon reaching the board, I noticed a stranger standing there staring at the jobbing notices. This fellow was not strange in the simple sense that he was unfamiliar to me. Oh no, this guy was strange!
He stood towering over the other prospective jobbers. I would guess he might have been six-foot-four, if ye can imagine such a thing. His skin was tanned and parched, not unlike that of us pirates, but he seemed to lack that salt-crusted exterior we tend to carry. His manner of dress, though, was what really set him apart. He wore boots, but not in the traditional sense. They were smooth, brown, and rose up into his trousers. He wore a brown belt with a large, shiny trinket holding the ends together. It was flat at the top and pointy at the left side and bottom. It said, "Lone Star State." He had what was similar to a traditional brown shirt and vest, but also wore a faded red neck scarf. On the top of his head he wore a hat of the most unusual sort. It was brown, dusty, and had a wide brim. All of this under consideration, I can't imagine what possessed me to speak.
"Ahoy there mate. Ye lookin' for a job as well?" I announced. The stranger, however, didn't even flinch.
I tried again. "I say ahoy there, mate!"
"Call me your mate again, pilgrim, and I'll drop you like a bad habit," he growled without moving. "Somebody called me a name like that once. I looked it up and then went back and showed him the business end of my right boot."
"Take it easy there ma..., fella'. I was only kiddin' around. Joking. You know? Ha-ha," I explained.
This time he actually looked at me before growling. "You better wipe that smile off your face or I'll do it for ya."
Sheesh! What was with this guy? I decided to try a different approach. Persistence tends to get me in so much trouble!
"Look, I don't really care if you can take a joke or not. The point is, if yer new around here and looking to job, then I can help ye. The name's Bob...Bob Mitchumbeard."
The stranger paused and then replied, "I don't need help from the likes of you, pilgrim, but if you can point to a good one of those there jobs, then I may be less inclined to drag ya from my horse when I leave town."
Horse? "Ok then," I stammered. "Here. This one. Join with Captain Francisco aboard the Swaggering Boot. Paying jobbers delight. That's good!"
He didn't move. He just stared.
"That's a good one. Ye want to go?" I asked.
"You sure do a lotta' talkin'. Why don't you get busy with some walkin' and show me where this Francisco is?" he bellowed out.
"Sure thing. He's this way," I said while walking off toward the docks.
The stranger followed at a distance.
"Ye got a name, ma...pal?" I correctively asked.
"The name's John, John Wayne, and my friends call me The Duke," he said.
"Well all right then, Duke! Nice to know ye..." and then darkness.
When I came to he was still yelling, "you call me that again and it'll be the biggest mistake you ever made, you Texas brush-popper!"
I didn't even know what that meant, but I wasn't about to argue. He punched as hard as you would expect an enormous weirdo to punch, so from then on he was Mr. John Wayne. I rose to my feet and we walked, quietly, the rest of the way down the dock.
"Captain Francisco? We be two jobbers of great skill. Permission to come aboard?" I shouted.
"Permission granted," responded a voice from below.
I walked aboard. Mr. John Wayne followed, but he looked a bit nervous. I wondered if he had ever even sailed before.
"Station up mates. We're casting off now," the Captain announced.
Mr. John Wayne fortunately seemed more nervous about the rocking sloop than he was about Captain Francisco's reckless use of the word 'mate.'
Being a good jobber, I jumped on sails knowing that's what the Captain needed. A couple more jobbers joined me and another bloke, probably a senior pirate in Francisco's crew, hopped on bilge. We were off like a shot. The sailors were dropping combos like it was a bake-off for a galleon full of gold. Captain Francisco was in the zone, nav-ing like his life depended on it and the bilger was flinging crabs in every direction.
We were well past the first league point when I looked around for Mr. John Wayne. There he was, next to the aft carpentry box, leaning over the side. I thought to myself, good, he's patching up holes. This is going to work out after all. Only a few moments later, though, I heard Captain Francisco shout out, "Carper! Ye lazy, scurvy dog! What are ye doin' back there? My hull looks like a slice of Remoran cheese!"
I looked again and watched as Mr. John Wayne stood up straight. He was turning colors and heaving like a landlubber.
"Ye bloody greenhorn!" shouted Captain Francisco. "Ye retching, wretched piece of durian rind! Pick up the bloody hammer and carp!"
Mr. John Wayne gathered himself and walked towards the Captain, "Well pilgrim, since you haven't learned to respect your elders, it's time you learned to respect your betters."
Captain Francisco quickly turned and shot him a warning glance, "Hammer or we sink and drown."
Mr. John Wayne stopped, thought briefly, then returned to the station and hammered away. Luckily he brought damage under control before we engaged our first victim.
"Gunner to your station!" Captain Francisco called out.
We continued to work our stations, but I snuck a quick glance aft to check on Mr. John Wayne. To my horror, there he was straddling a cannon barrel, riding it like the exotic saddled elephant at the palace, and yelling something to the effect of, "Yee-haw! Yee-haw!." Oh for the love of Zeus...
"Ye nuttering fool! Are ye drunk?" shouted Captain Francisco.
He received no reply other than, "Out here, due process is a cannonball." We glanced at each other. We don't even know what due process is.
I shook my head in disbelief as the jobber next to me whispered, "Thanks for bringing your friend along there Bob."
Captain Francisco darted over to the cannons and incredibly loaded all four before the next turn. He then spun the wheel, came about, and fired the first three cannons into our opponent's stern. He then quickly turned again and brought Mr. John Wayne's cannon to bear on them broadside. "Adios pilgrim," Captain Francisco sneered as he fired the fourth.
Mr. John Wayne bounced straight up in the air, came smashing back down straddling the cannon, and then slid slowly off into the water. I tossed him a float as we grappled and boarded the opposing sloop. We won and sailed off leaving Mr. John Wayne drifting away in the sunset.
I saw him again once. It was a few weeks later. He didn't see me and I strongly suspect that's a good thing. Not only because we left him at sea, but also because I couldn't stop laughing. Ye see, it appeared that Mr. John Wayne must have really hurt himself when he landed on the cannon as he was sort of swaggering stiff-legged about rather than walking comfortably.
Tough break, Duke.
1. Bronze Neckband Rare Funiture
2. Sleeping Turtle
3. Parrot feather trinket (blue/yellow)
4. Nautilus Shell trinket (blue)
5. Lily trinket (blue)
6. Starfish trinket (blue)
7. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending name availability/OM approval), stocked and painted
8. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending name availability/OM approval)
Ultimatesage, sage ocean
1) Sloop painted ; stocked.
5)Parrot feather trinket.
6) shell trinket
In An adventure with pirates.
George was currently taking passage with a merchant vessel with protection provided by the Grand Armada of the England navy. He was assigned a duty to become governor of a new English settlement near Jamestown. He was under heavy protection by the king, because of the large bounty placed on his head by other nations.
And of course, bounty hunters were not the only ones after him, considering the priceless cargo in the hold on the merchant vessel.
BOOM! George was awakened was the loud banging and cracking of the hull outside the cabins quarters. BOOM! George ran out onto the main deck to see their escorts flag ship stripping its colors. Pirates! BANG! George cried out as he was flung on his back by the shock of the cannon. He ran up to the wheel of the ship to see the captain struggling to keep the bow from overflowing with water. As the captain was about to yell to George to get to safety, a cannon struck directly to the main support, as the ship gave way, Georges
Mind rushed and panicked as he fell toward his sure grave, feeling the sting shock of the water trying to stop his panicking heart.
Its time mates! , The captain roared.
YARRGHHH yelled the rest of the crew.
Strip ye colors, ready the guns, prepare to broadside! Yelled the captain shouting orders continuously.
FIRE! Yelled the captain. The ship fired, doing massive damage to the bow and to the wheel.
Hmmm, whose that fellow?, the captain thought, he might be of some use, after all u could always use strong hands. Opps, nope. No one could of survived that one.
FULL BROADSIDE! yelled the captain, certainly spelling the doom of the enemy crew.
shall we board em capn?, the crew first mate asked.
LOOT IT ALL yelled the captain, running with full vigor and bloodlust.
A pain in my head uggh . Man do I got a headache
I think hes awake sir. , said a voice.
well, there he be, survived a hit like that. He must be immortal, or be blessed by Neptune., said another voice.
George woke with intense pain and confusion, then he remembered.
He jumped up but only to see many a man with swords in their belts surrounding them.
aye! It be a miracle! He survived me cannon shot! , said a bearded man with a bandana on his head.
George looked startled as he saw a man, wearing a feathered hat, and a pegleg, come up to talk to em.
Ahoy, welcome aboard the Fantastic Clownfish, the new flag ship of out recently captured fleet. I be pegleg barb. Short for barbossaa. Ye wish to live? Landlubber?
Uh yes sir , George managed to spit out. George seemed to notice a old faded out printing on barbossaas feathered hat, saying : Grand Commodore Barbossaa : Take all ye can give nothing back!
Then take sails, mate. u think uve seen something, u aint seen nothing yet.
Joined: Oct 12, 2006
TURGUT REIS (DRAGUT) in an Adventure with Pirates
1. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending name availability/OM approval)
2. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending name availability/OM approval), stocked and painted
3. Bronze Neckband Rare Funiture
4. Sleeping Turtle
5. Parrot feather trinket (blue/yellow)
6. Nautilus Shell trinket (blue)
7. Lily trinket (blue)
8. Starfish trinket (blue)
Based on the life of Turgut Reis (Dragut)
17th June 1565 ... I remember this day as if it were only yesterday, said an old man with eyes brimming with tears. St. Angelo bombarded our battery when I suddenly saw him falling down and being wounded mortally. Everyone froze for a moment, a moment which felt like a century. Suddenly, one man and then the whole army started to shout and cry DRAGUUUUUT. We were testifying to the history and fall of one legend.
The old man wiped his eyes and took a sip of his beer.
One of the children around him asked:
Who was Dragut?
He was a Turkish privateer and Ottoman admiral as well as Bey of Algiers, Beylerbey of the Mediterranean and the first Pasha of Tripoli.
What do you know about him?
In 1538, he commanded the center rear wing of the Ottoman navy in the battle of Prevaza. He had 20 galleys and 10 galleons under his command and I was only an apprentice gunner on one of them. During the fight a shower of spikes killed everyone of my battery apart from me. My left leg was injured, but I didnt feel it in the heat of battle. I could only think about filling the cannons, but the cannonballs were too heavy and I couldnt do my duty.
Suddenly, a man came to my help .His face was black with gunpowder. We loaded the guns together and targeted the first hostile ship. Two seconds after our shoot, I could see the enemys mast falling onto the deck and the crew aboard swaying the white flag wildly.
The man turned around to me and said: You are injured. Go downstairs and let the doctor clean your wounds.
No, sir, I cant. We need every single man.
This is a direct order, young boy.
He looked so imposing that I was unable to answer immediately.
What is your name, young boy?
My name is Erdokhan, sir.
It was nice to fight by your side, young Erdokhan.
The same goes for me, sir.
Now to the doctor with you.
Three days after the battle, the cannon master came to my bed and told me: Don your best shirt. Dragut has asked for you.
I started to shake like leaf. Why would the captain ask for me? I was sure that I must have made some mistake and that he had now given orders for my execution.
I dressed quickly and followed the cannon master. He stopped in front of the captains quarters and said: You have to go in alone. He is waiting for you.
I hesitantly knocked at the door.
I had heard the voice before, but I couldnt place it in my dread, and so I entered the cabin.
He was dressed in white silken trousers, a black jerkin and soft leather boots.
Come in, my young hero. Come in and give me a hug.
I couldnt believe it. This man, Dragut, was the very one man who had helped me with the guns!
You did a great job and therefore, I have a gift for you. You are hereby the captain of one of my sloops.
I couldnt believe it again. I had my own ship!
I dont know what to say, sir. There is no way I could probably express my happiness and gratitude. Thank you very much, my captain. May god bless you.
You are welcome, young man. You are a good gunner and Im sure that you will soon command respect on the Mediterranean Sea.
I began my pirate career with the sloop She's name is Blue Mates I was given this day.. I fought many a battle by Draguts side and was always honoured to obey his commands.
But this story is finished for tonight, my children. Now, wash your hands, go to bed and dont forget to speak your prayers.
Susan B Anthony in an Adventure with Pirates
Albie of Sage Ocean
1) renamed sloop, then anything after that.
As a young hooligan, I traveled with the crew of the Delicious Goldfish. If there were ever a crew poorer than us in poe but richer in adventure, well, I wouldn't believe it. Which is saying a lot, since I believe in lots o' things, like leprechauns... and capitalism.
Wait, why are you making that face for? Capitalism is based on-
Oh, it's the leprechaun part yer wondering about? Aye then, buy me 'nother mug of root beer (no alcohol, thanks, tastes like pee) as I tell you my tale.
Imagine this scene: A large wooden frigate at full sails in the midst of the sea. Pirates doing their various chores, singing "We love fishes 'cause they're so delicious, gunna go fishing."
I was at that age when the voice does that cracking thing, and I was starting to grow hair where there had never been hair before. Like on the top of me toes.
I kept daydreaming about girls. Everything reminded me of a girl. The mop was like a thin lass with a nice round...
Anyways, there I was, the swabbie, mopping the deck, thinking of girls, when a giant storm caught us unawares. Captain Douglass started screaming out orders. I found meself pulling the sail ropes next to an ol' salt named Pepper.
Pepper yelled over the howling wind, "Ey! Tis' our fault, wrongly sentencing Mel to the plank yesterday. His anger is upon us now."
"But Mel's dead," I said in my crackly voice.
"Dead men tell no tales, aye," the ol' salt laughed at my naiveté, "but they do do revenge."
"Doodoo revenge," I echoed, wide-eyed, images of ghosts on the toilet and sending their ghostly poop to get back at those who wronged them.
The Captain by this time, brave man woz he, climbed up to the crow's nest. From there he yelled, "Mel! We're sorry about the planking! And I didn't mean that thing about your sister!"
Suddenly, the clouds parted and a rainbow appeared across the sky, ending right smack dab in the midst of our frigate. A deep voice said from above, "I guess."
I saw it first. At the end of the rainbow- a pot o'gold, and a little man in green leaning against it, picking his teeth with a stick.
Hands shaking, I grabbed him and held him up. "Leprechaun!!!!"
And THAT, mateys, is the story of the leprechaun! The end.
What? Oh, you want to hear more? I suppose it gets more interesting...
The leprechaun offered me a wish in return for 'is freedom. Being a good, fair lad, I told me mates I was open to suggestions.
"Well," said Cautious Pel, " We could save him for a wish to use when we be in danger."
"Oh! Like the time when we were starved for eight weeks straight?"
"Ya, so we threw out some bait, which a squid came to ate."
"The bait being our mate Nate."
"Poor Nate, what a fate. But the squid tasted great."
"We don't need a wish for saving our arses. I say we spend the wish on something frivoulous!", the Captain announced.
"WOMEN!"came a thunderous reply.
The Captain gave a belly laugh. "Aye! That's quite frivoulous. But we can only afford to feed and house one woman on this ship."
No one pointed out that Crossed-eyed Carol was a woman. She was a stowaway, pretending to be one of the lads, fooling no-one. Most importantly, she was Mel's sister and thus off-limits.
The leprechaun looked at us anxiously, "Well, that's not enough info to go by. You have to describe her."
I got an idea. "How about...the woman of our dreams? That way, she will a bit of the qualities each sailor wants."
The leprechaun looked thoughtful, told us to wait, and made a few phone calls to his supervisor. Finally he came up with a solution that satisfied all requirements.
"Your wish is my command!" he squealed and poof! He was gone. Standing where he had been was...a vision.
She was tall, thin, with grey straggly hair in a tight bun and frown lines on the side of her mouth. She was dressed in a grey dress that seemed very restrictive up top, but with a ridiculously roomy bottom. She looked like a mop.
Winds in me sails, indeed! What a woman!
I heard the other men groan.
Captain Douglass scratched his beard.
"I suppose nightmares can be dreams too."
The lady cast her eye about. "Where am I?" she said in the husky voice of a wearied, cigar-smoking schoolmistress.
"I am Captain Douglas Douglass, and this be the crew of the Delicious Goldfish. Welcome, wench!"
Her face was frozen, except for the raising of one eyebrow, and you could hear the crackling, like ice, of the skin around it as it did so.
"Well, I don't see your father here, so I have no idea of this 'wench' you are welcoming," she said tartly (and, to me, seductively). "As for me, I am Susan B. Anthony, leader of my own crew, the one fighting for women's rights."
"Ooohhhh, a feisty one we got!" laughed one of the pirates. He reached out to grab her hand. In an amazing show of dexterity, she caught his wrist, twisted his arm, and then with a smooth turn, threw him over her shoulder.
"Back to yer work! Back to work!" commanded the Captain hastily. He realized something was amiss. This lady we had ordered was not a miss. She was, in spirit, a mister.
He pulled me along as we escorted Miss Anthony to the cabin. I was very happy.
"Now Susie," he started, "here is your uniform." He handed her some rags. "You are to be the busty wench. Your job is to serve beer and flirt with us. There are about 100 men on this ship, so it'll be busy. Oh, and you clean and stuff..." His voice faded when her cold stare finally registered on him.
"Erm?" he seemed nervous and unsure, like a schoolgirl whose date had gone off to the bathroom for a very long time.
"Captain Douglass, can you count?" my love snarled.
Captain Douglass blushed.
"There are at most, 30, not 100, men, pirates, on this boat."
She suddenly turned her eyes on yours truly. "And what about you?"
"I can count up to tens, Miss Anthony."
"This cannot do. I will not stay in a boat full of imbeciles. I suggest dividing up the men. Those with the Captain will learn to count. With the advanced group (and I felt me chest puff out a bit out o' pride) we will advance to reading and writing. I acquired these skills at the age of three."
Me chest deflated a little bit.
Susan, "Let us take a vote on this."
The Captain led us to the deck and told the men the issue.
"All in favor say 'aye'," he said solemnly.
Since Captain couldn't count, and I could only count up to tens (sorry, ten), Susan did the work.
"15 ayes, plus mine, the measure passes," she said primly.
"Wait, now who asked you for your ..." Captain started gruffly.
"Captain, it is we, the people as a whole, not just the men, that make this crew work! I have as much a say as any pirate here, as a woman. I have no need to hide my identity."
The last remark seemed to be pointed towards Crossed-eyed Carol, who blushed.
And so began lessons in math, which lead to lessons in history, government, and hand to hand combat.
That night the pirates decided to help Susan learn about our world. We threw a welcoming party for her, and while her head was turned, we spiked her water with our rum. We watched as through-out the night she got more and more giddy, laughing rancorously with us in our drunkness. Sea shanties and feet stomping filled the air.
The Captain, red in the face, came up to her. "And Susie, ya laughing like a wench! We knew rum would put the true pirate spirit in ya!!" We all cheered wildly.
Susan laughter morphed into a wry smile. "It's called acting, Captain. I've been giving you men the illusion of my drunkenness when in reality I never drank from my cup. If I am gleeful, it is only because you have fallen for my trick. I had replaced all your rum with dolphin pee. I think drinking is evil."
A blanket of silence fell over the men. Then we all ran to the starboard to throw-up.
From then on, the crew developed the habit of suspiciously sniffing our drinks before quaffing.
Similarly harsh lessons in math, government, and hand to hand combat continued. Our crew found that education could help us with pillies. With our attitudes, more women pirates joined, making our force stronger and smarter than it had ever been before.
There was one special lesson left just for me, though.
One night, the Susie (I started referring her as that in me mind, never out loud) and I were walking the poopdeck. The moonlight was bright, casting everything in silver- the rigging, the sails, the captain's wheel. Even Susan's hair seemed silver, like shiny metal, rather than its usual dull grey. She was a beaut. She belongs on a coin, I thought.
"I'm glad we met, Miss Anthony." My heart beat loudly.
"You have seemed greatly improved, the lot of you. You've learned to fear a woman, that is good. And while not all of you listened, I am glad that some have heeded my warnings on the evils of alcohol."
"Oh, I have! But uh, there's one thing I want to learn, and I wondered if you could help..."
"What is that?" she asked disinterestedly.
"If...if I like a lady, how do I woo her?"
"A complicated question, indeed," and she threw a glance at Crossed-eyed Carol, who threw a glance at God knows where.
Shaking herself out of some secret reverie, Susie continued, "As long as you respect a woman for who she is and recognize her as a person of as much capability and wit as yourself, then love will find its own way. That is my advice."
"Oh! What would I do without you, Miss Anthony!" I gushed in my uneven, prepubescent voice.
We stood in silence.
"Well, I guess I best be off," Susan said blithely.
"I've made a time machine, and I am going home." She picked up her bags.
" Time machine? How?"
Susan shrugged. "Women can do anything they set their minds to."
She pulled out a box (the time machine) and stepped out onto the plank. She pushed some numbers on the front.
"Susan! My Susan!" I allowed myself the luxury to say her name since she was leaving anyways. "What are you doing??"
And with a sad poof, she was gone.
Leave me. No, I'm not crying, 'tis allergies. Beto Friedan does not cry, for a pirate crying is like a fish needing a bicycle
Joined: Jun 7, 2007
Pardner of the Midnight Ocean
~800 words. Critiques/advice welcome by PM.
Karl Marx in an Adventure with Pirates!
July 1, 1835
--- * --- * --- * ---
* --- * --- * --- *
--- * --- * --- * ---
"Karl!" I shouted, as loud as I could.
The seventeen-year-old Karl Marx stirred softly and lifted his tired face a bit off of the warm, moist wooden bar, just enough to mumble something incomprehensible. He wondered how much time had passed. In all the years I tended bar, I'd never seen a lazier law student, or one with less control over his underdeveloped facial hair.
This time I leaned in close to his ear. "Karl! Closing time! Git off'a that stool and git yer lazy self home to bed!"
The next thing young Karl heard was the sound of a glass bottle being broken over my head. And as he would later tell the story, the thing he heard next was a petite twenty-something blond trying her hardest to sound piratey, saying nothing but "Arrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
--- * --- * --- * ---
* --- * --- * --- *
--- * --- * --- * ---
"Swabbies!" An actually gruff pirate shouted, as loud as he could.
Karl and I stirred softly and lifted our tired faces off of a cold, moist ship deck, just enough to mumble something incomprehensible. We wondered how much time had passed. In all the years he'd sailed the sea, the gruff pirate had never seen lazier crew members, or greener ones.
This time he leaned in close to us. "Hey! Ye think the water'll be bilging itself outta the ship? Git downstairs or git ready ta walk the plank!"
The next thing we heard was the sound of a cannon being fired. And as we would later tell the story, the next sound was that blond: "Teehee! We've been hit!"
--- * --- * --- * ---
* --- * --- * --- *
--- * --- * --- * ---
The stairs creaked loudly as we walked downstairs, slowly figuring out how we had come to be on this particular pirate ship -- the Capitalist Pigfish. It seemed that we were now part of a crew of pirates known only as "Shexyscrwe," captained by miss Xxshexy herself. It looked like the ship was full of a lot of green pirates, and a lot of them seemed to be members of the crew -- we were all wearing pink bandanas.
The shrill whistle of Shexy's gruff executive officer echoed in my head like a thousand screeching cats, and even though he told me to get to work, I didn't know the first thing about bilging. I grabbed the pump, and started to read the conveniently-placed instructions posted over the bilge pump.
The quiet in the hold was cracked and splintered as a thousand pieces of the fair Pigfish scattered. The crew was flung forward from the impact, several of them knocked unconscious. Another barrage of cannonballs must have... wait, no, there was a giant rock, visible through the side of the ship! We'd crashed into a rock! Who was driving this boat?!
But the guns roared again; the black powder filled our lungs, and a cheer was sounding upstairs! "We've got em now <3," our fearless captain shouted! "Prepare the grappling hooks!"
The thunderous sound of two dozen smelly, soot-covered, brand-new pirates crashing up the stairs of Xxshexy's war brig didn't quite drown out the sounds in the cabin, upstairs. As I was grabbing a hook, I saw young Karl, covered in black powder, with splinters in his unkempt hair and boots full of water, peek into the cabin. He cursed louder than I'd ever heard the young man curse in my life. He had seen the officers of the ship -- they were clean as could be, lazing about, playing hearts of all things!
The crew took up his curses and a wave of pink bandanas swung over to the enemy ship, ready for a rumble.
--- * --- * --- * ---
* --- * --- * --- *
--- * --- * --- * ---
Our victory cry rang out as the officers of the ship began searching for loot. Karl and I grabbed some rum, but rum did not make his face glow the way it usually did. He had a look of furious clarity on his face, and suddenly I noticed that his facial hair didn't look so underdeveloped anymore. His shoulders did not slump as he walked. His eyes were focused: straight ahead, not on the floor. His walk was the walk of a man! Not the boy I had failed to wake up so often at closing time.
Our victory had come just before we were ready to stop at port again; our pirate flag lowered and the captured merchant's flag flew as we tied up the ship. The shrill whistle of Xxshexy's officer corps went off again, and we gathered round to see what our shares of the plunder were. I took my 30 pieces of eight and started hurrying off the ship -- I just wanted to get back home.
Just before I hopped off the ship, though, I turned around to see young Karl standing high on a broken crate, holding his 30 pieces of eight up high, yelling to the masses of green crew. Xxshexy's expensive perfume and lavish clothing could not cover up the cries of her green cabin people...
--- * --- * --- * ---
* --- * --- * --- *
--- * --- * --- * ---
The next week at the tavern, Karl came in for the first time since the adventure.
He had the walk of a man, a man with purpose!
--- * --- * --- * ---
* --- * --- * --- *
--- * --- * --- * ---
Pardner; Riot Forever
[but not around :/ these days ]
Joined: Mar 1, 2007
Albert Einstein in an adventure with Pirates!
It was dark, and Albert Einstein was getting ready for bed,
when all of a sudden, he saw a bright light and was stunned
and blinded. When he woke up, he was not in his room.
Still dazed and confused, he had no idea where he was.
it was foggy, about 5 in the morning and the sun was just
coming up over the ocean. Wait a second, The OCEAN?!?!
Einstein realized he was not in his room anymore, but he was
amidst the shouting and cursing of... PIRATES?!?! Where
the heck am I? Einstein thought to himself. Then somebody
walked up to him, offering a hand to help him up. "Thanks",
Einstein muttered. "Now, where am I?" The pirate responded,
"You're aboard me ship, the Odd Hammerhead. I be the
captain, Black Robinson." Einstein thought he was dreaming.
Pirates have been gone for hundreds of years...
Albert asked, "Um, Mr Black robinson, What year is this?"
The captain responded, "Matey, it be 1565." Einstein stumbled back.
What is this? it must be a dream., He thought.
Robinson said, "Ye be alright? ye havent gotten yer
sea-legs quite yet, so just stay right where ye be."
Einstein was thinking about what was going on as the pirate
was walking away. "This is incredible!" he thought.
"I've gone back in time!"
as he was getting up, a pirate swigging down some rum
walked by, and ran into Albert. "Hey, youse lookin fer a fight?"
he said, obviously drunk. Einstein stammered, "Uh, n-n-no
sir." The pirate walked away, and drunkenly swayed around,
hitting anything in his path. "That was odd."
Just then, he saw a bright flash of light coming from the cargo hold.
As he went to investigate, he hears squaking from the hold.
"Oh my, what are they doing to that creature?"
Once he got to the hold, he shouted "What on earth is going
on here?!?" The three pirates turned around, and the captain
was one of them. The captain walked toward him, with
a parrot on his shoulder. "Matey, meet me new parrot,"
He was interrupted by the parrot.
"Im on ur shuldr, talkn to u."
The captain sighed. "This is Ploly. by far the
oddest parrot ever to embrace me shoulders. Me not
sure where he hails from."
The parrot blurted out,
"Im on ur ship, messin wit ur pirate peeps"
Black Robinson said, "Matey, I needs to show ye something."
He walked to an odd contraption. The thing was strange,
with it's lights and beeps. It was triangular, with yellow rods
coming from the center. Next to it, beneath a mess of wires,
were 2 dials, with dates on them. "Ye see matey, We went
looking fer some treasure, when we came across this odd,
silver thing with wheels. We went over to it,
and we took a look at it.
there wasnt anything of value in it, but we took this anyways.
as we left, a strange feller dressed in shiny clothing
started shouting to us. Couldnt understand him anyways,
something about a flux..." The parrot interrupts again,
"hai, i go mess with ur ship nao, kkthxbai."
With that, he flys away.
"Ah won't miss him if he don't come back. Anyways, every now and then,
it lights up and flashes, and something comes on me ship.
a lot of me shipmates are saying it be cursed, and I think they
"What a bunch of loonie..
Everyone was running on deck. "I never got yer name, mate."
"Oh, Im Albert Einstein."
"Well Albert, I hopes ye know how to swing a sword!"
With that, he climbs up the stairs with a hearty laugh.
Taking a second glance at the odd thing, he follows the captain.
H gets to the deck, and Black Robinson shouts back to him
"We be taking hits! patch those holes!"
He runs back down to the hold, and gets working.
After the first few holes, he hears flapping, and
something lands on his shoulder. After that, he hears
"Hai, i on ur bak, mesin wit ur pirformince"
"Shoo, Ploly! Shoo!
Just then, a Cannonball shoots right over Albert,
just grazing the parrot.
"I gtg, kkthxbai"
He looks up and says "Thank you!"
After a while, he hears a shout from deck,
"All hands on deck! we be boarding!"
As everyone was going aboard, Einstein stays in the hold.
"This thing must have something to do with my presence
here. He walks up to the gizmo, and punches in his date.
Right after that, he is blinded by a bright light.
When he regains his vision, he finds he is back in his room.
"Ah, thank god!"
He gets in his bed and blows out his lamp.
"Hai, i in ur room, kepin u awake!"
Joined: Jul 10, 2005
1.Sloop, renamed to match the ship from my story stocked and painted
2.Sloop, renamed to match the ship from my story
3.Parrot feather trinket
Confucius in an Adventure with Pirates
Confucius walked out of his home to travel to the market. When Confucius got to "Chinese Market" he noticed it was empty.He searched, but could not find a single merchant. He found a eyepatch on one of the packets of rice. He heard a whisper, "So ye found me eyepatch Mate?"
Confucius turned slowly around and became a witness to the ugliness of the uneyepatched man.The man grabbed his eyepatched and swiftly put back on. The man said, "I know ye, yer the guy with all those teachings."
Confucius tried to run, but slipped on a tricorn and fell.The man walked up and called his crew.
"Put him aboard our ship.The Deadly Tigerfish."
"Aye captain." said a voice behind the so called "captain".
Confucius, knocked-out from his fall was put into a sack and hauled aboard the "Deadly Tigerfish."
"I want a ransom put on him 1,000,000 PoE."
"Is this guy that important?"
"No time for questions put up the ransom NOW!"Shouted the captain.
Confucius was forced to work as long as he was on the ship. Confucius's ransom was never paid so he kept working. Soon he didn't seem like a hostage to most of the pirates he seemed more like one of them, but the captain never saw this he only saw Confucius as a winning hand in poker. The captain was actually disgusted with Confucius and hated that he had to keep lowering the ransom. Even when they were pillaging Confucius never got a share of the booty.
"Hurry and fill those cannons Confucius!" yelled the first mate as they fought with a navy ship.
"Right Away, Sir."
Again the mates yelled, "Victory and Booty!" at the end of the battle.
But Confucius sarasticly said, "Yay victory!"
A year passed since Confucius was captured. A young pirate named Zuper was the only friend Confucius had on the ship. Zuper was an officer and held great power in the crew, and this friendship was odd because most of the officers and above did not really care about pirates, cabin persons, and most of all hostages.
"Here, Confucius take me share of booty.You deserve it more then i do."
"Thank you Zuper."
Confucius's ransom never payed after three long years even at the price 1 poe.
"Thats it!Throw him overboard!" shouted the captain.
No please don't." said Zuper in Confucius's defense.
"What did ye say Zuper?!"
"I said No way Jose are ye going to throw him overboard."
"Maybe we should throw both of ye overboard!"
The crew all agreed on that option.
"They shall be thrown overboard at Dawn tommorow!"
Zuper tried to warn Confucius but he could not find him.
At dawn the next day Zuper was thrown overboard, Confucius was not because confucius overheard about him getting planked and he hid in an empty barrel.The pirates searched for him for days but they were unsuccesful. confucius continued to hide wherever he could stealing as much food as he could get without showing himself.The pirates poted after a long battle to rest.This was his chance to get off and he took it. Just barely managing to sneak off the ship, he traveled back to his homeland, but stopped at every town to tell of his adventure.
<Insert Funny Signature Here>
<Cheese says, "I like Chocolate Milk!">
Thats Zuper for ya. Zuper on Sage and Midnight WOOO!
Joined: Aug 22, 2006
Mohatmad Ghandi in an Adventure With Pirates
Twas the year 1812 many men and woman as you may know have attempted to take down Captain Barbossa. But as all of us above common pirate rank know he and his crew are undefitable. When've all tried the shot through the heart and the sword to the brain but nothing works, he laughs and kills us all right?Wrong.There is one weakness, luckily. The mayan Curse of Cortez on the gold that Barbossa and crew attempted to take made them immortal. But it has also made him and his crew feelingless. So Barbossa is always looking for ways to gain his feelings back. He tried accupuncture, massages, even went to the drastics of shooting himslef with silver bullets, srry no werewolves in this story. One day he learned of Buddist monks that knew how to forget all feelings and temptations. So Barrbossa thought who better to teach him and crew about feelings then the corporate of feelings himself Mohatmad Ghandi, if he could erase feelings maybe he can teach em too.
So when Barbossas crew met a Buddist Monk while pillaging they brought him aboard. They tried brutal force and thousands of threats but nothing convinced him to take them to meet Ghandi, they even tried to treat him like the god Buddah himself, they fed him grapes and rubbed his belly but nothing could convince him. Finally the monk got word that Ghandi wished to meet the crew and so he agreed to take them to meet him.Through harsh winds, rains, and seas they reached a large treanch were they had to switch to a sloop they called the Orange Clownfish. When they reached the end of the treanch they met Ghandi and began their religious quest to find their feelings.
Dawn breaks and Ghandi is at the door of the crews bunk. "It is time to begin your quest of opportunity and enlightenment. First place all of your weapons into this barrel." Each crew memeber placed their guns and swords inside. "Now help me remove the cannons from your ship" The crew, along with Barbossa, did what they were told. "Now all of you to the temple and change out of your rags and clothes, i want you to where these robes. Now that were all dressed and prepeared we must pray and meditate to reach full 'enlightenment.'" With the crew disarmed and unprepared Ghandi called for the other monks to sail and find the finest crew in all the mainland and bring them to the temple. As Barbossa and his crew meditated and gained 'enlightenment' they grew board. Now and then even Ghandi got bored so they would play a round of tenis at the local rec center. But never once did they question him. So when the other monks arrived with Twiggys Elite, the best crew they could find, they were unsuspecting of the attack. Normally since Barbossas crew was cursed they would not be affected by weapons but their meditating had removed enough of the curse to make them mortal just enough to be killed. So then last minute when Twiggys Elite was ready Ghandi lead them in the battle against Barbossa, who was quickly defeated along with his crew. When the battle ended Ghandi said, "Thank Buddah they're gone Buddah has been telling me to get them out of the way for 3 months now.Thats why i was here, trying to hide from him."
2-renamed and stock/painted sloop
4-bronze neckband rare furniture
5-parrot feather trinket
6-Nautilis shell trinket
Put up or shut up.
name: cptobviouser on sage ocean
1. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story, stocked and painted
2. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story
3. Sleeping Turtle
4. Bronze neckband rare furniture
5. Parrot feather trinket
6. Nautilus Shell trinket
7. Lily trinket
8. Starfish trinket
John Lennon in an Adventure with Pirates
note: you're going to have to love the alliteration! much research was put into this story of hilarity.
"Hey man," said John Lennon, "Here Comes the Sun it must be time to get up.
"Yarrr," said Half-booty Drake, "but I don't want to."
"Whoa man," said John Lennon, "I must've taken a little too much LSD last night."
"Ye don't remember me?" said Half-booty Drake, "we partied hard last night on my orange and white sloop, the Smart Marlin"
Lennon, confused as a pirate without a compass, said, "yeah but that was Yesterday. I don't remember you today."
"Aye," said Half-booty, "While partying last night, we got blindsided by a Yellow Submarine. Unfortunately, our vessel sunk, so now we must be isolated to land only."
"It's ok, you don't need boats in life. All You Need is Love," said John.
"Ye maybe right, but I lost that to when my Blackbird, Little Johnny, got captured by the enemy submarine."
"Well I don't know about you, but anyone Can't Buy Me Love," said Lennon. When suddenly a beautiful pirate named Half-legs Ginger walked up to them.
"Did you guys say ya'll lost your sloop?" asked Ginger
"I guess," said Lennon, "I don't even know what year or time period it is, much less what went down last night."
"You guys can help me on mine if you wish," replied Ginger. Right then, Lennon knew she was the one for him.
Trying his best to look like a stud, Lennon whispered in her ear, "I Want to Hold Your Hand."
Disgustedly, Ginger said, "Get yer green booty away from me."
Lennon, not being the pirate sort, had no idea what green meant, so in his best voice and with his best sexy look he replied very manly, " I'll take that as a compliment. You know, I am one of The Beatles."
Ginger screamed back at him, "Green is not a compliment, and yes, you do look like a beetle!" Ginger then stormed away from them, and went halfway across Admiral Island before she could cool off a little.
"Good job Lennon, you just lost our Ticket to Ride to Bryher Island."
"You know, once I got over being sent back in time, I really started enjoying being a pirate." smiled Lennon. "You know, losing that chance must all be part of A Day in the Life of a pirate."
"It most certainly is not! You need to check with me before you ever do something like that again!"
"Aye captain," said John
"Now let's go to Sho Girls, the inn, and look for a way to get to Bryher Island." Eventually, Lennon and Drake both found a job on a sloop. They had a very cruel captain named Cptobviouser.
"STATIONS!" the captain shouted, "I'll feed ye to the sharks if ye don't grab a station mateys."
Shyly, Lennon asked, "can I be designated guitar player?"
"Eh, we could use a little entertainment on our pillage," replied the captain, "but NO punk rock. It burns in my ears as onions burn yer eyes."
"Aye captain, I'm more of a classic rock person anyways." And so Lennon played his heart out on that non-profit pillage. Just as he was jamming Live and Let Die to the pirates, captain was looking at the news.
As Cptobviouser's eyes flickered, he looked up and asked Lennon, "Do I have permission to write your story on a forum on the world wide parchment?"
"Aye, I'd be happy to share my st-"
At this point in time Lennon awoke from his strange dream to find that the year was still 1964, and he was still on an airplane crossing the Atlantic Ocean, going to the United States. "Aye," said Lennon, "are we almost there?"
Paul McCartney turned around and said, "Dude, you sound like a messed up pirate."
Lennon smiled and replied, "Maybe I do have a little bit of pirate in me."
word count: 637
alliteration to songs (for those of you not familiar with The Beatles) :P
- Here Comes the Sun
- LSD (Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds nickname)
- Yellow Submarine
- Can't Buy Me Love
- I Want to Hold Your Hand
- Ticket to Ride
- A Day in the Life
Joined: Jul 2, 2006
Bertiepye, Midnight Ocean.
Sloop, stocked and ready.
Word Count: 675 (is that to much?)
George Washington and the Pounding Drunken Pirate.
It was a cold, winter night at the White house and George Washington was just about to go to sleep. As he carefully got his feet out of his slippers he heard a slight pounding on the door. He carefully put his feet into the warmed up slippers and walked to the door, steadily and carefully. He opened the door, There was nothing there. Seeing nothing there he walked back to his bed, took off his slippers and crawled into bed.
What was that pounding? George thought to himself as he closed his eyes. But he soon forgot about it.
In the morning, when George crawled out of bed, he put on his slippers and his robe. He tried to remember what happened that last night, but it would not enter his mind. He decided to give up on trying to figure out what happened and he went downstairs to his dining room table. He met up with his puppy, petting her and loving her.
Did you hear the pounding last night, Hemavich? Maybe it was a dream. George finished petting her and got up to get some breakfast.
Hmm, what shall I have today? Whole wheat or grain? He asked himself as he got out both. Ill go with the whole wheat today.
As he got out a bowl for his breakfast, he heard the pounding again. He scratched his head, What in the world can that be? He looked for Hemavich but could not find her. Where could that pup be? The pounding ceased and he ate his breakfast quietly.
George went to the Officers office today to see what he could do to help with any of the up coming events for the war that was going on. But when he got there, the officers that were there were not officers. They were pirates! Quickly, George ran out of the office and hurried home.
When George got home he went straight up stairs but he called for Hemavich to see where she would be, Heemm, Oh hemmy. Where are you puppy? Georged sighed, where is that pup? He got into bed and tried to get some shuteye. But, alas, he heard the pounding again and was fed up with that.
WHOEVER IS DOING THAT MUST STOP THAT CONFOUNDED POUNDING! He yelled in rage. But the pounding did not stop. It would go quiet, then really loud. I will find the culprit and send him to his grave! He said while he went to his door. Just as he opened the door he saw a flash of black. George scratched his head, wondering what that could have been. He stepped out the door and looked down the stairs. Nothing there. Than he saw the black again, but this time it was running toward his room. George quickly turned around. It was one of those bloody pirates from the office! But he appeared to be drunk. He was holding his unloaded pistol and was pounding drunkingly on the door to get Georges attention. George just laughed because he knew that pirate from somewhere.
You mean you have been the one pounding on my door? George said as he was laughing at the pirate.
Well .I..just pounded on the .front door The drunk pirate said. I needed to shoot something .
George laughed, You silly pirate, that pistol isnt loaded. I remember you. I remember giving you that pistol and I remember you shooting that pistol 3 times, the 3 three bullets.
The pirate pointed the gun at George and then pulled the trigger. It didnt work. He tried it again pointing another way. It didnt work. He pointed it toward him and it shot a bullet right through him. Not loaded eh? The pirate said as he was about to die, I guess Ill just .have to .shoot you later.. He started to laugh a little. Then he died.
Fair well my friend, rest in peace. George picked up Hem and went out of the room laughing.
He was also laughing at scared little Hemavich that was shivering right on the side of him.
Flirtly - Midnight Ocean
Captain of No Room For Error! and Member of the flag Nova Scorpius.
When life gives you a lemon you say "oh yeah. I like lemons. What else ya got?"
Joined: Apr 9, 2006
Mae West in an Adventure with Pirates!
A journey with the Widow Queen
The inn was a hive of activity and the rum flowed as the pirates settled down to enjoy themselves, but it suddenly became quiet when a young woman entered and everyone tried to see who she was, there were gasps of "Wow look at her, she is so hot" as the pirates caught sight of possibly one of the most beautiful women ever seen, it would later be reported that most, if not all the males at the inn literally salivated as they looked upon her, their drool clearly visible and one or two unfortunate pirates even choked upon their rum.
Mae West knew the impact she was having, by now she was well used to the effect that she had on others, she was known as a superstar, a sex symbol and the original blonde bombshell, with men eager to do her bidding, and the females with their darting looks of distain and envy. But this was way more interest than she normally got, the temperature in the room rose several degrees, it became so hot that she was forced to remove her coat which she promptly dropped as the pirates all made a dash to be the one to help her remove her garment. As she winked at the young pirate who was lucky enough to get there first, he literally turned beetroot red and collapsed in a heap on the floor, it would be many years before he would be able to forget the incident, and sea shanties are still written about it today.
Mae West was not sure how she arrived at the inn, but one thing that she did know was that she had never been there before. The Pirates surrounded her, some with requests to be hearties others with invitations to join their crews and some with requests to be her boyfriend, there was even one brave lad who proposed marriage there and then, but the majority of the female pirates stayed sullenly silent.
In one of the corners of the room there was someone who watched intently, she had been there quite some time just waiting, while those around her were unaware of whom they harboured. The Widow Queen had entered the inn undetected so perfect was her disguise that she moved about freely. There was always fun to be had at the inn she had lost count of the times that she had been bought a drink and paid as the old salt, to tell everyone where she could seemingly be found. Oh what noobs they all were.
The Widow Queen was pleased to see the beautiful woman for she was just what she had been waiting for, yes this female would make a very nice recruit into the Silken Sirens not that she would be offered a choice, as far as the Widow Queen was concerned what she wanted she got. She approached Mae West and guided her out of the inn quickly before she could attract anymore attention.
Mae West was put to work aboard the Widow Queens ship the Silken Web. Amazingly whilst there she demonstrated no ability whatsoever, all her standings remained able and her duty reports always showed booched, but her talents if you could call them that, lay in the heat she generated when the pirate ships came by she was able to make the crews burn with desire, so hot did they become that the ships literally caught fire, the Widow Queen needed very little cannon fire to soften them up, and she made a huge saving on cannon balls, Mae was also such a poor fighter that during the brawls that followed the sea battles, the pirates attracted by her beauty and wit made orange dots beside her and so she held them there while the Widow Queen and the rest defeated them all. Mae could often be heard saying "When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better!" Since Mae had been made to join the crew the Widow Queen had been undefeated in battle. But Venomous Vicky the first mate of the Widow Queen was not happy, jealousy gnawed at her and she wanted the boocher gone planked and expelled never to return.
Mae West liked her fellow men too much to harm them, and she did not like having to fight the pirates, she knew that she was being used by the Widow Queen to attract the pirates to the Widow Queen, and sadly they came in droves. One day it got too much for Mae and she asked the Widow queen to release her, the Widow Queen was reluctant but decided to let her go, or risk loosing her first mate, "You could stay if you improved your standings, then Vicky might not mind so much" she offered but Mae wanted to go, "Why don't you come sometime and see me?" the Widow Queen invited Mae "You know good girls go to heaven, but bad girls go everywhere else", nice words thought Mae I will use them for my next script, and that is how Mae West came to be in an adventure with pirates.
1. Re named sloop stocked and painted
2. Sleeping turtle
4. Bronze Neckband rare furniture
5. Nautilus shell trinket blue
6. Parrot feather trinket blue/yellow
7. Starfish trinket blue
8. Lily trinket blue
Delores of Emerald ocean.
Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Joined: Sep 9, 2005
Prizes in the order they come
Houdini in an adventure with Pirates
Deadeyedora was fed up, she had filled all 9 of her wardrobes and she had run out of poe to buy wardrobe number 10 and the new outfit she needed to match her newly painted ship.
"I need poe, and quickly" she muttered as she stood on the deck, "But how to get it.. think Dora think"
Banned from washing up by her First Mate Zevencees as he said it gave her too many ideas, Dora had taken to lurking down in the bilge to think .. but since the crew had realised that Dora filled the bilge rather than emptying it she was banned from there too.
Leaving her ship Dora leapt onto the dock and paced about, ignoring pirates trying to trade bandanas and dodging the inexperienced pirates swordfighting wildly with blunt foils.
"Aha... I have it! The perfect get rich quick plan and so simple even the crew can manage it" but where were the crew?
Guessing that Mohna would have some of them alchemizing at her stall as usual Dora headed over to the apothecary bazaar on Spring where she found Mohna badgering Zevencees and Windchaser into working on 37 orders of grey paint.
Dora puffed out her chest and made her grand announcement .... "I have had an idea, an idea so simple an idiot could carry it out"
"All except this idiot in a hat" muttered Mohna, looking at Dora. She had witnessed a few of Dora's ideas before as had the rest of the crew.. earning Dora the nickname "Idiot in a hat"
"Have ye been washing up again?" asked Zevencees, suspiciously, as he looked up from the table where he had been busy exploding bottles... "Have ye been christening the bilge in yer new ship?" asked Windchaser, looking around for the mop.
Casting a withering look at them she drew herself up to full height and was knocked flying by Searmin's pointy boots entering the shop, followed a few seconds later by Searmin himself. Pulling Dora to her feet he asked curiously "What's going on here?"
"Dora's had an idea" groaned Mohna Zevencees and Windchaser in unison.
"Ah" said Searmin... "Say no more. Well actually do say more, tell me what the idea is."
" I have had a brilliant idea... no work involved, well not much and we just sit back and wait for the poe to flood in" began Dora, the others listened, waiting for the fatal flaw in her plan.
"We kidnap someone famous and hold them to ransom" Dora grinned "Easy isnt it?". At this moment Argarr walked in.. "Which someone famous?" Dora flicked her hand impatiently in the air. "It doesnt matter who. We just grab the first person we can"
The crew looked at Dora, this idea did seem very simple, could they do it?
"Right" said Dora "No time like the present. Get all the crew on the Nosy Trout and I will meet ye there with our hostage in half an hour"
"Half an hour? Isn't that a bit... " began Argarr who liked to get the details all sorted out.
"Aye ye are right... I need to change my outfit" Dora interrupted. "Make it 45 minutes" and with that she dashed out of the shop.
Three quarters of an hour later most of the crew were gathered on the deck of the Nosy Trout wondering how Dora was going to single handedly bring a hostage aboard, when they heard Doras voice coming up the gangplank. Then to their amazement Dora was carried aboard in the arms of a tall muscular man with dark hair.
He stood on deck with Dora in his arms. "Where can I put you my dear" he asked and as the crew stared in amazement Dora pointed in the direction of her cabin.
"In there" she whispered faintly. As the stranger carried her towards her cabin Dora looked over his shoulder and gestured to the crew to follow them.
Inside the cabin the stranger carefully deposited Dora on a chair and then looked behind him in surprise at the crew who had squeezed themselves into the cabin behind him. Once the door was shut Dora leapt to her feet. "Crew meet our hostage. Mr Houdini"
The Crew looked blankly at Mr Houdini as he stood there looking very confused.
"Actually it is just Houdini .. or the Great Houdini" he said, "But why did you trick me into bringing you aboard your ship and why am I your hostage?"
Dora smiled at him. "Tis nothing personal" she said " I saw ye were top of the bill at that place of entertainment I found ye at.. The Great Houdini... what better person to hold hostage. I pretended to twist my ankle and here ye are. As soon as we get the ransom for ye, ye can go and we will be on our way again"
To the amazement and confusion of the crew Houdini burst out laughing... "Do I understand you are planning to hold me hostage here until you get the sum of money you want for my release?"
"Exactly" snapped Dora .. " I don't think ye will find being tied up in the bilge so funny. Two of ye please take Mr Houdini to the bilge and tie him up then stand guard on deck in case anyone wants to come aboard while I write the ransom note and have it delivered. By now they will realise the Great Houdini is not in the building"
"But who exactly is he?" the crew asked Dora... "The Great Houdini.. what does he do?"
"I have no idea" replied Dora "He's obviously famous to be top of the list ... The Great Houdini.. probably an opera singer ... we can get him to sing for us later"
Dora quickly wrote the ransom note asking for 1 million poe to be delivered to a deserted ship (the scabby dogfish) at the far end of the dock at midnight tomorrow... adding that if the poe was NOT delivered then bits of the Great Houdini would be delivered to the theatre one by one.
"Errrm who will be chopping bits off Houdini?" asked Argarr looking worried.
"It won't come to that" said Dora, they wont dare risk it. "Now Windchaser deliver this note to the theatre."
Just then the cabin door opened , and there in the doorway stood the Great Houdini, behind him stood Coll and Tris the two pirates who had taken Houdini to the bilge and tied him up.
"What is he doing here?" shrieked Dora , I told ye to tie him up. "Nevermind we are leaving the ship now, tie him up to the chair in my cabin and stand guard. Dora and the crew headed for the gangplank. Tris and Coll tied Houdini up in the cabin and then stood on the deck watching the crew leave the ship..... Windchaser with the note, then Dora, Zevencees, Argarr, Searmin, the Great Houdini......
"Hey stop him" yelled Coll, Dora turned round and swelled up... "TIE HIM UP NOW!!!!!" she roared or it'll be the three of ye imprisoned here.
"But.. but ..but we did" protested Coll "That's twice now and twice he's got free.
"Hummppphhh.... " snorted Dora ... "Zevencees ... clamp him and Mohna use yer shackles , the ones with the large cannonballs attatched and tie him to a cannon.. a night out on deck might make him think twice before he tries to wriggle free. Then when ye are done join us at my house."
Watching Zevencees and Mohna start to tie up Houdini and satisfied they were doing a good job, Dora and the crew headed for Dora's house which was right by the dock.
They were just walking up the path to the front door when there was a deafening boom from the starboard cannon and a cannonball smashed straight through Dora's door across the living room and out through the wall into the garden and landed in the rockery. There was a stunned silence, and the crew turned to look at the Nosy Trout where Coll, Tris, Zevencees and Mohna were all struggling to stop the Great Houdini leaving the ship.
The crew headed by an extremely annoyed Dora marched back to the Nosy Trout.... " What are ye playing at?" yelled Dora "Four pirates now and ye still can't tie him down.... "Right this calls for drastic measures" She squinted evilly at Houdini...." It's the gibbet for ye....Dora looked around erm where is Iain?" . The crew burst out laughing "At the Inn of course" said Zevencees who spent most of his free time playing poker in one inn or another.
Iain didnt say much and no one in the crew actually knew if they had ever seen Iain sober though Iain stated the crew had never seen him drunk, certainly the crew had never seen him without a drink. He had a gibbet in his basement with a skeleton that was rumoured to be a pirate who was foolish enough to add water to Iain's rum one night.
One of the crew went to fetch Iain while Dora tried to get a confused Houdini to sing for them, he was just about to explain who he was when Iain leapt aboard the ship, kilt flying, a stained cutlass gripped between his teeth,
"Is that blood?" whispered Argarr going pale.
"No" said Zevencees.. "It's rum"
Iain spotted Houdini and raised his cutlass "Ye want me to run him through and hang him from the yard arm?"
"No" sighed Dora "We want ye to lock him in yer gibbet as none of the crew seem able to tie a knot today. He's a famous opera singer and we are holding him hostage for 1 million poe"
"Yarr" roared Iain and put his order in for a barrel of rum a day for life and marched Houdini off to his basement.
"Are ye sure this Houdini is an opera singer?" asked Argarr "He didn't seem very keen to sing."
"Oh he probably needs to warm his tonsils up .. or wants paying to sing." said Dora "As long as we get our million poe it doesn't matter."
The crew headed to Iain's house, on the way they were caught up by a very breathless Windchaser.
"I delivered the note..it's not good", she panted ...."I gave the note to Houdini's manager .... he laughed and laughed and then when he finished laughing he said .. If we could hold the world's greatest escapologist .... he would give us 1 million poe gladly... but he thought his money was safe."
"Escapologist!!!!" Quick to Iain's house" yelled Zevencees and the crew raced to see if Iain still had the Great Houdini under lock and key .. muttering curses about the Idiot in a hat under their breath as they went.
Iain's front door was open so the crew charged in and headed down to the basement where they found Iain and Houdini propping up the bar.
"Iain he's not an opera singer"
"He's an escapologist"
"Did ye get him in the gibbet?"
"What are ye both doing?"
The crew all spoke at once, when they were silent Iain explained
"I did indeed put him in the gibbet, but he got out before I could pour myself a drink. So we are having a wee drink before we discuss the problem"
Iain winked, and poured Houdini another drink.
"Do ye play poker Houdini?" asked Zevencees
"Why yes I do" he replied so Zevencees gave Houdini some poe and led him over to the poker table. "More drinks over here Iain" he called
By the early hours of the morning Iain had lost all his poe to Zevencess and was sitting drinking quietly.. Houdini and Zevencees were both out cold, heads on the poker table snoring gently and dribling over their poker cards.
"Looks like we will get our million poe after all" said Dora ... "Houdini isn't going anywhere in that state.. What a good job I kidnapped him." and she stood there looking smug until Mohna hit her round the head with a bludgeon fish.
As the day wore on Houdini awoke from his drunken stupor..." I could get to like this pirate life" he announced.
"Ohhh no. no way" said Dora "We want our millon poe.. as soon as we have it ye are free to go"
"But I don't want to" said Houdini " I want to be a pirate, and think how useful an escapologist could be to the crew"
Iain stood up and licked his sword menacingly.... "We want the poe"
"That's easy" replied Houdini... " I stay here with you.. errrm ye and learn to be a pirate... If I don't go back the ransom will be paid and we can split it. Now can I join the crew?"
"Yarr" roared the crew ..." Spoken like a true pirate. Sign him up Dora"
So when ye read about the Great Houdini and how he suddenly and tragically died ... In fact he didn't, but his manager and family couldn't bear to tell anyone that Houdini had conned them out of 800,000 US dollars, roughly 1 million poe at todays exchange rate, and run away to become a pirate sailing the Midnight Ocean with Dora the idiot in a hat and her motley crew. For those of ye who are interested he goes by the name of Cubud now and spends most of his poe on beard and hair dye to avoid being recognised, should anyone come looking for him, and though he is still a master escapologist, he still can't beat Zevencees at poker , or hold his drink.
Joined: Aug 28, 2005
Marcyss on Sage
John Lennon in an adventure with Pirates
The pirates prodded John Lennon onto the Noisy Drum. The captain, with his hands on his hips, greeted the new arrival, "Ahoy, mate, welcome to me ship. M'name be Cap'n Shant. We be needin'to sell somethin', and we chose you."
John Lennon stared at the captain and said, "Why would you want me? Money and wordly things aren't worth anything, the point of selling me would be useless."
"Yarr, we heard tell that ye be bigger 'n Jesus, and we figur' that be lots."
"...That was just an example of how big the Beatle's were. I'm solo now, that isn't worth as much, I assure you."
"Nahr, ye the one who said it, ye the one who be it. We ready to go mates? Off we go to get this one sold into slavery- should be worth lots this one."
John Lennon found a guitar below decks, slipped upstairs and sang, "Imagine no possessions"
"Yarr, no possessions? That be stupid idea that!" One pirate wandering by muttered.
"I wonder if you can. No need for greed or.."
"Now just wait a minute!" The first mate was standing in front of Lennon, glaring at him.
"Yes?" John stopped playing and stared at the first mate.
"First, that there's my guitar. Second, if you had no possessions, you couldn't play that song. 3rd, greed- that's our lives. We be out fer booty, pleasure, and satisfyin' ourselves. You're singing drivel."
"I was borrowing the guitar. You can sing a cappella, you really don't need instruments- use what you find. And greed- well- I'm just a dreamer. I can dream."
"Arrrr either way that pansy stuff has no place on the seas."
John gave the guitar back to the first mate, shrugged, and sat in the corner.
A week later, the ship came upon a merchant galleon. The captain made ready to fight and board in hopes of a large treasure. John Lennon started singing "All we are saying, Is give peace a chance".
The pirates stared at Lennon, confused, and the first mate snuck up on Lennon from behind and gagged him.
The captain asked "Why ye be doin' that now?"
The first mate replied, "He be spoutin' useless drivel for days and hours on end. I'm tired of it, and I figure he be worth more alive than dead, and to save his scrawny neck I muzzled him instead of killing for me sanity."
"Ah, well that's alright then."
The pirates port at the place they were planning to sell John Lennon. They bring him up to the owner of the slave market, and the owner says, "Why's he muzzled then?"
"Oh," Captain Shant replies, "Me boys couldn't stand his way of talkin'. He was spoutin' things about peace, no possessions... 'tweren't piraty. And he's worth more alive, so 'twas better to muzzle him then get him killed."
"I see. Well, he's worth less if he's annoying."
"Nah, He's bigger 'n Jesus, 'e said so himself."
"Well! If that's the case, then he's worth more than I normally pay. $50,000 to you, Captain Shant."
"Thanks so much! Good luck, John Lennon. Hope ye find a good home."
John Lennon might of said something, but it came out as odd muffled noises. The pirates left him there, and what happened next is anyone's guess.
Marcyss on Sage Ocean
Music is Everywhere. Harmony, Cacophany, Dissonance. All this is Music.
Tilinka's Puppet Show
Joined: May 20, 2007
Littlewolfe - Midnight
Elvis in an Adventure with Pirates:
"'The King is DEAD,' Wow you would think they would come up with something a little more catchey, eh Fisher," Bo giggled as he read the newspaper headline. Elvis was standing close by, chuckling. It's true though, he thought to himself, I mean I was the "King" and all. He personally felt that his "death" deserved a better headline, but he wasn't upset about it.
Boy did Elvis just love his new life. It was a tough task to accomplish, but they succeeded quite well. No one had any suspicions that he was still alive. The hardest part of all had been in finding a person who almost exactly resembled himself, then kill that person, and finally placing him in Graceland s bathroom without anyone noticing.
The whole idea of wanting to become a pirate came about while he was filming Blue Hawaii in Hawaii . It had been a long day of shooting and Elvis needed some time to himself, so he went out for a walk along the beach. It was well past sundown, but there was a full moon showering her rays across the land and sea. The tangy, salty smell of the ocean was relaxing.....in fact it was so relaxing that Elvis didn't even notice the large, magnificent, orange and black ship anchored not far offshore. A pair of voices caught his attention. Two men were sitting in a (name of little row boat), speaking to him he realized.
"Who goes there'z," Fischer hollered.
"Umm....Elvis, Elvis Presley," he replied.
"Oh don't give me a load of crap like that. We all's know that the 'King' is supposed to be filming here. Now really, what's yer name?"
"I just told you, ya ding dong." Elvis was annoyed.
"Blimey! it is Elvis! Bo, Bo comes here and look.....it's Elvis Presley!"
"Oh shut-up Fischer. You said tha' same thing las' week."
Elvis could tell they had been drinking for each still held a goblet with rum lopping about.
"Why don't ye come aboard matey," Bo offered.
"Why thank ya, thank ya very much." I think, he thought to himself. So he hopped into the (whatever) and what started as a simple conversation with Bo and Fischer became a deep conversation about a pirate's life. Bo offered Elvis a few rounds of rum and before long, Bo and Fischer got a private performance from Elvis, well, more like a sing-a-long, since they were all drunk. When the sun began to peak over the horizon, Elvis somehow managed to say goodbye to Bo and Fischer. As he waved goodbye, a thought struck him.
"How great would it be to live as a pirate. A pirate's life for me..." He let his thoughts race, all the possibilities, all the complications, the rush of a pirate life. The day went by before he knew it. So that night he returned to the location he had met Bo and Fischer. They were nowhere to be seen, but the same (boat thingy) they had sat in was still there. Elvis looked out to sea and sure enough, the Meowing Lionfish was still anchored just offshore. Elvis shrugged and pushed the (ummm...) into the water, grabbed the ors and started rowing towards the starboard side of the Meowing Lionfish.
Once aboard the enchanting, orange and black beast, Elvis began his search to find Bo, Fischer, or the rest of the pirate crew. Strange, he thought to himself, shouldn't there be loads of people running around....tending the sails and what not? *You ain't nothing but a Hound Dog....* Elvis looked around, but couldn't pin point where the singing was coming from. He then noticed where he was standing and looked up towards the crows nest. There were Bo and Fischer having a jolly ole' time while singing "Hound Dog". Elvis had to laugh at the sight of them. He hopped onto the rope ladder and started his ascent to the crows nest.
"Ahoy matey's!" Elvis hollered as he leapt into the crows nest.
"Sweet Davy Jones Elvis!" Fischer squealed.
"Ye just scares us ta death mate," Bo replied with huge, bulging eyes.
"Sorry to scare ya like that. I'm just excited," Elvis apologized quickly. "You see, I've been thinking about the other night...how much fun it was....the enjoyment of our conversation. Anyways, so I've decided to become a pirate and join your crew. But that's only if your captain will allow it of course."
Bo and Fischer looked at each other, then at Elvis.
"Elvis, I don't mean ter be rude or anythin', but HAVE YE GONE BLOO'Y MAD!" Bo screamed. "I means, ye can' jus' give everythin ye have up and becomes a pirate. Yer the bloody 'King' for pete's sake mate!"
"That thought crossed my mind as well," Elvis responded slyly. "And I came up with a plan."
Bo and Fischer waited patiently to hear Elvis' plan.
"Well...Out with it mate!" Fischer exclaimed.
"What if we were to fake my death?!"
Bo put the newspaper down and pulled out another.
"Elvis has left the building!"
"Well I have to say, that one is perdy good," Fischer giggled as Elvis and Bo laughed heartily.
"Boy mates, do ye remember tryin ter get tha body into Graceland !" Elvis managed to get out in-between breaths.
"Ya, near impossible," Fischer chuckled.
There was no doubt about it, that had been a tough job alright. Of course, of all the nights for a storm to brew, it had to be that night.
"Sweet Davey Jones is the wind howling tonight," Fischer grumbled.
"Pop the trunk, will ye Bo," Elvis asked.
"I can' believe that ye actually convinced us to do this," Bo shouted over the rushing wind.
"Think of it as....payback....ya, payback, for the wonderful night of drinking and singing." Elvis grinned.
They pulled the body out of the trunk and dragged it, clumsily into the kitchen at Graceland . Luckily both the housekeeper and Lisa Marie were asleep.
"Bo. Fischer. All you have to do is drag the body as quietly as you can up the stairs to the room on the left, okay?" Elvis waited for an answer.
"Up the stair to the room on the left, got it," Fischer replied.
"Alrigh', get to it then," Elvis pointed up the stairs.
"Yes sir," Bo and Fischer responded in unison.
As soon as they started up the stairs, Elvis made dash for the fridge. They hadn't had anything to eat all day and he was starving. As he started to stuff his face with whatever he could find in the fridge he heard a loud, shrill scream. He knew right away it was Lisa Marie who was screaming. I told them the room on the left....the left. How hard are those directions. Elvis took the stairs two at a time and vaulted up to Lisa Marie's room.
"Daddy, daddy! I had a terrible dream! Pirates, two pirates, came into my room!" Lisa screamed.
"Well don't worry now. There are no pirates in your room," Elvis said soothingly to Lisa Marie. Anymore that is, he thought to himself. He waited until she was back asleep before leaving her room. Once in the hall, he found Bo and Fischer waiting outside.
"I told you the left room...'left,' not 'right' you ding dongs."
Elvis helped carry the body into the bathroom. And since they were conveniently located, they cleaned themselves up as well. Once out of Graceland , they laughed and laughed and laughed, all the way back to the west coast.
When back on the Meowing Lionfish, Elvis couldn't believe what they had accomplished. He knew many people would be devastated that the "King" was dead, but he was excited for his new life as a pirate.
Bo threw the newspaper on the nearby table.
"Was tha' an adventure or what?!" Fischer asked.
"It sure was!" Elvis exclaimed. "And here's to a pirates life for me!"
"I wills drink to tha' matey," Bo laughed and raised his mug.
"Ye will drink ter anythin' Bo," Fischer grinned.
And that's the way it was for Elvis Presley. Even today he sails with Bo and Fischer and the crew on the Meowing Lionfish, exploring the seven seas and drinking the nights away. So goes the story of Elvis and an adventure with pirates.
1. Sloop-stocked and painted
3. Bronze neckband rare furniture
5. Lily trinket
7. Nautilus shell
8. Sleeping turtle
Littlewolfe on Midnight ;P
I play with the vamps and wolves! Hoowwlll!!
Joined: Jun 16, 2006
Name and Ocean: Sarahsparrow from the Midnight Ocean
Prize preference: 1. Bronze Neckband Rare Furniture
2. Renamed Sloop From Story
3. Renamed Sloop From Story, Stock and Painted
4.Nautilus Shell Trinket
5. Parrot Feather Trinket
6. Sleeping Turtle
7. Lily Trinket
8. Starfish Trinket
Anne Frank in an Adventure with Pirates
Fifteen year old Anne Frank snuck down the stairs as quickly as she could. The "Secret Annex" was so stuffy and she just had to get a glimpse at the outside world again. It was about one in the morning, and all the workers had gone home, so she would be safe. As she got to the bottom of the landing she peered around the corner. She hated that she had to be so cautious, but if the Gestapo even had the suspicion of a hideout here, they were doomed.
She finally stood in front of the window, staring out at the street with longing. She detested being stuck inside with the group; they all mocked her for her creativity and independence. 'And Peter,' she thought, 'As much as I like Peter, he's so proper all the time, never sticks up for me. He's no fun at all!' Anne began to think of all the stories she'd heard when she was little, of swashbuckling pirates, searching for the endless horizon and all the freedom it brought. If she were on a pirate ship, she wouldn't have to worry about people constantly teasing her about her thoughts or lecturing her on how crude or blunt she sometimes was. Finally, she turned around to head back up the stairs and to her refuge (and prison) behind the bookshelf. But as she turned, Anne hit her head on a beam she had somehow missed on her way down. "OW!" she yelled. Her head hurt so bad; she was sure she was going to die. Anne hit the ground. As she fell into unconsciousness, her last thought was, 'This is probably the most undignified way to die.' Upstairs, the refugees in the attic heard a yell. They began looking for Anne in a panic. If they had heard it, chances were with the thin walls, someone else had as well...
Anne woke with a pounding headache. "Kind of like the morning after I snuck some of Daddy's wine," she said aloud. 'No!' she realized. 'Mustn't talk here! I'll get caught.' It was at that point that she realized she wasn't in the hideout, or even the factory at all. Wherever it was, it was rocking, and it smelled horrible. "Where am I?"
"What was that?" came a gruff voice from a few feet away. "Whos there?" The man spotted her. "A stowaway eh? Cap'n ain't gonna be happy 'bout this. You know what we do with stowaways 'round 'ere?"
Anne shook her head. She didn't dare say anything. Not because she was scared, but because she was trying not to laugh. The man looked tough and was wearing a sword, a big black one, with a skull on the end, so she didn't think he'd appreciate her laughing at his appearance. 'But it's so hard,' she thought. 'He looks so funny.'
He did. The man had practically orange skin, but bleach blond hair. It didn't look natural. He had huge muscles and a tough looking face, but both were completely offset by the pink and aqua outfit he was wearing.
The weirdly dressed man continued his tirade. "Well... actually, don't know what happens. It's never been done before." The man paused. She must have given away her thoughts by the look on her face, because suddenly he blushed and got angry at the same time. "'Ey, lookey 'ere Poppet! Don't even think about saying somethin' 'bout these ole rags. They're crew colors. I got no choice, ya 'ear?"
She couldn't stop herself; she burst out into giggles. "'Ey, you! Stop that noise! I'll show you! He grabbed her by the arm.
"What are you going to do, make me wear that horrible outfit?" By now, she didn't think the man had it in him to be violent, he just looked too silly.
The man looked flustered. "Yeah ... well ... to the brig with you!" He shoved her in front of him and into the small prison that was on that level. He locked her in. "Let's see how much yer laughin' when the cap'n comes down 'ere to straighten you out." He laughed.
"Oy, Bigbadboy," yelled a voice from up the stairs. "Get up here and man the sails. There be no lazin' on this ship!" The man, who Anne assumed was Bigbadboy, gave her one last glare before making a beeline for the stairs.
Anne took this moment of privacy to study her surroundings. By now it was obvious that she was one a ship, though it was quite small. There was a box on the side of the room filled with wood, hammer, and nails. 'Good thing,' she thought to herself. 'I'd hate to see what happens if there were a hole.' A couple of what looked like water pumps were in the corners, and she could see a fish skeleton sitting by one. 'So that's where the smell's coming from.' In the corner opposite her cell, there was a giant treasure chest -
"So,yer the stowaway?" The voice caught her by surprise. It was a girl's! "Don't ye dare be thinkin' yer gettin' any of the crew's booty! Aye, that's right, I see ye lookin' at the chest. Stowaways don't get any reward for their lazin' about, only the plank!"
The plank? Oh, she remembered that from her stories. Wait... that woman was going to make her walk the plank?! "Oh, please Miss, there's no need for that! I can work, I promise. I'm a hard worker."
"Maybe so," the woman replied, "but you need a little while longer in the brig, says I. And I be captain, so what I say goes." The captain? This tiny woman? Anne studied her a bit more. The woman had dark tan skin and jet black hair, and the black clothes to match. She was beautiful, Anne realized, but seemed incredibly strong as well.
The captain looked about to say something else, but at that moment, something hit the ship, which rocked. Water started pouring in. The captain took off above decks and started shouting orders. Whatever had hit the ship before hit some more, six more times to be exact. Anne heard more shouting, and though most of it was indistinguishable, she caught the words 'greenie,' 'bilge,' and 'plank.' Three more pirates, for that's what she now knew they were, appeared on the steps. Two took the bilge pumps and one grabbed the hammer from the box. As they worked to fix the damage, the water finally stopped rising, but was so far up that Anne wasn't able to touch ground and had to tread water. She knew she couldn't hold out for much longer; her strength had dissipated since being cooped up in the annex. "I was so wrong," she commiserated to herself, "this is, by far, the most humiliating way to die."
Eventually, the water started going down, and Anne heard "Weve escaped!" from up above. Now that she wasn't in mortal danger, she looked at the newcomers. All three looked the same. Their faces were white like her's, and they were wearing green. Their hair was in dreadlocks and had red bandanas on their heads. They had nametags on the shirt which said: Jaksparrow, Jaquesparow, and Jacksparow. "Are you three triplets?" she asked them.
"No." Anne glanced back at the stairs, where the captain had appeared. "These three be copycats with no imagination. There be an infamous pirate that sails these waters that goes by the name of Jacksparrow, and these three have decided to take the name too. So... have ye learned yer lesson in the brig?"
"Yes, I mean aye, or whatever pirates say." Anne was thinking she was starting to get the hang of this pirate lingo.
The captain let Anne out of the brig. "Well. While these scallywags work on the damage down 'ere, let me show ye to yer duties above decks." She motioned Anne up the steps. "First thing I guess I should do is introduce ye to the crew. I'll start with meself. Me name is Scareysexxiechick, and I am the captain of this vessel. This ship is a sloop, the smallest short of a raft that ye'll ever see in de water, but she does the job well. Ship's name is the Ferocious Tiger. Remember it. That man over there," she pointed to a pirate frantically reloading the four cannons spread out across the ship, "is Gunningprotom, our gunner. And of course you've already met Bigbadboy. Now, why don't ye make yerself useful and man a sail." Anne took this as more of a suggestion, but when Captain Scareysexxiechick suddenly whistled sharply in her ear, she knew it was an order. 'Well, that seemed entirely unnecessary,' she grumbled in her head (she didn't dare say it out loud). As she headed for the sails, she couldn't help but marvel at the beautiful purple and green colors of the ship.
Anne had no idea what to do with the sails, so she just kind of pulled at the rope. No one yelled at her, so she just continued it. Randomly, one the Sparows came up the stairs. "Can I load the guns?" he asked the captain. Anne stared incredulously at the pirate, who was looking directly at the already loaded guns with Gunningprotom standing right next to them.
"Cannons already be loaded and a gunner is ready fer battle," came the equally disbelieving reply from the captain.
"Then can I navigate?" he whined. "I can navigate real good."
Scareysexxiechick glanced at me watching and rolled her eyes. "Ye told me when ye signed the articles that you 'ad never been on a ship before in yer life. So how can ye be a good navigater?"
"Well, I know I can... Fine, can we port? I want my pay. Can I have it now?"
The captain by this time was becoming visibly frustrated. "No. We port when I say we port 'cause I'm the captain! We're not even near land! And there's no point in splittin' booty now; ye can't spend it while yer on the ship! Now back to yer duties or I'll make ye walk the plank!"
The annoying little lad stormed off below decks, but popped back up a minute later. "I know I can't spend it now, but can I get my pay now?"
The captain looked livid with her face red, and you could practically see steam coming out her ears. "Nay, ye landlubber! Now, GET OFF MY SHIP!!" The gunner quickly set up a plank and the pirate, Anne could now see it was Jaquesparow, was ungracefully shoved off. Anne couldn't help but join in with the rest of the crew as they cackled over the admittedly helpful loss.
"Now," the captain turned toward Anne, "Howsabouts you take over fer 'im and start bilgin'?" Anne ran off to the bilge before Scareysexxiechick whistled in her ear again. As she gripped the handle, she felt something move across her hand. "A crab!" she screeched and ran to the other side of the ship. She screamed again as she slipped on something slimy, which revealed itself to be a jellyfish. "Ewwwwww!" They seemed to be everywhere! She pouted as the crew gathered at the stairs laughing at her girlish squeals.
"Maybe the lass oughta try carping?" Gunningprotom took pity on her. The captain nodded, so Anne tried, picking up the hammer. However, within minutes, the putty was stuck in her hair and on her face so bad that she couldnt concentrate on anything other than a bath.
"Incoming!" came a cry. The captain had spotted their next prey. The battle went smoothly, seven shots and the other ship looked about ready to sink. Grapple hooks were thrown and the ships were brought together. "ATTACK!!" bellowed the captain. However, as the rest of the crew raced forward, Anne got stuck in some inconveniently placed supplies by the door. By the time she was managed to climb out of the boxes and up the stairs, the fight was underway. No sooner had the two crews faced off, however, than Jaksparow went completely pale, scared out of his mind, and jumped overboard. All Anne could do now was cheer the rest on, and boy did she. It came down to two on two: Scareysexxiechick and Gunningprotom against two of the invading pirates. The captain seemed to be holding her own, but Tom's opponent was twice his size, and his sword seemed much stronger. Tom seemed about to be defeated. 'I've got to do something,' Anne thought. She didn't have a weapon on her, so she took off her shoe and threw it at the beastly man. The improvised projectile weapon smacked the pirate in the face, and while the smell made the man grimace, Tom had time to finish him off. He gave Anne a nod in gratitude. By now, Scarey had her opponent at her mercy and finished him off. The crew made quick work of the looting and were soon underway. Anne got her own share of the Pieces of Eight for saving Tom.
Bigbadboy sent her back to the sails. "Since it's the only duty ye seem to be able to 'andle without screaming," he mocked her. The captain spotted another ship aft and ordered the ship to be brought about. Anne happened to be standing in just the wrong area, and the boom hit her from behind. She fell to the deck, unconscious, without a word...
Anne woke up with the sun just starting to show above the buildings. 'Oh God, my head,' she groaned in her mind. Remembering the past few hours, she bolted upright. What had happened?! But as she looked around, all she saw was her father's business building. 'So, the Tiger, Scarey, the pirates, were they all just a dream?' she wondered. The sun started shining brighter. Daylight?! She had been down here all night? The workers would be getting here soon. Anne raced up the stairs, remembering to duck under the beam this time, and closed the bookshelf. None of the other annexees would believe this...
Author's Note: Three of the pirates in the story (Jaksparow, Jacksparow, and Bigbadboy) were actually pirates on YPP (I only know because I did a /who to check), however, they haven't logged in since 2005.
I'm sure there's a couple more smart quote boxes I missed, but I did my best.
A TIGER IS ACTUALLY IN FISHBASE.ORG. YOU CAN SEARCH IT. AND I EVEN PETITIONED ABOUT IT TO MAKE SURE.
And yes, I did kind of make fun of myself with the Sparrow thing, but hey, I can laugh at myself.
And last: why don't indents work?
Sarahsparrow of Cerulean
Captain of Barnacle for Brains
Lady of Riot
Joined: Oct 7, 2005
Christopher Columbus In An Adventure With Pirates
A storm be blowing, shouted the young swashbuckler over the roar of the sea. He slipped down a dangling rope frayed and withered, from the towering crows nest above. He glanced at the old seaman which called himself captain. His smoke colored beard blew in the wind. His arm had been replaced with a rusty hook. His splintered peg leg thumped against the hard wooden surface on the battle-hardened ship. He rubbed his hand against the black railing of his prize ship, the pride of his fleet, the Witty Marlin. His first mate a quick-tempered fellow stepped out of the bleak cabin and lurched himself to the top of the stairs. He unraveled a soggy map in his blistered hand.
Were just off the coast of Mermaids Purse, shall we make port? asked the curious looking first mate as he took the last step towards the helm.
Aye, replied the helmsman as he steered away from the jagged rocks. His answer seemed definite but his face showed no expressions, as if the storm was calling to him. The look in his eyes was spine-chilling and cruel. As he was about to shout the orders a wave crashed across the deck, salt water ripped into the hold carrying everything with it.
I have sailed through worse, surge on me hearties we be porting at Mermaids Purse! shouted Blackbeard. Edward Drummond or more commonly known as Blackbeard was the captain of the Marlin. He was a bold, ruthless and daring man. In battle he put a slow-burning fuse used to light a cannon under his hat. With his face drowned in smoke and flame people remarked that he resembled a fiend from hell. Although a ruthless pirate he was loyal to his crew and not one crewman would disagree. In deep thought, he was interrupted by a shout from the crows nest.
Three ships ahead, Flying British colors! shouted the shrill voice of the 18 year-old buccaneer. The captain hurled himself against the railing and out in the distant, identified the outline of three ships sailing inward toward the uninhabited port where many times forageables had been ransacked by his crew and where some day he would make a port of his own and prosper. Afraid of what these vessels could do he made the decision to sink the vessels warning any other settlers to stay away.
Were taking them, load the long nines, and fire at will! shouted Blackbeard. Mr. Roberts pull us in closer; I feel a change in the winds.
Aye aye sir, replied the First mate. Through the thick fog the man in the nest slipped down the ropes and ran across the slippery deck to the helm. Out of breath he stuttered but finally got out his definite message. No guns are aboard sir.
Hold ye fire! shouted the captain,We be going in for the grapple!
Arm yourself with shot and cutlass! shouted Roberts. The sea had calmed down a bit but the clouds were dark and rain drizzled out of the unforgiving sky. By now the captain of the vessel, Christopher Columbus had spotted the ship and feared for what was to come. Columbus was an explorer in search of a new land and had never encountered a man such as this, an infamous pirate feared throughout the world. His fate was imminent and so was his crews, all they could do now, was wait. The Marlin pulled up next to the ships. It was three to one but the battle-hardened pirates of the Marlin could take on the forces of the fleet one by one. The captain and three men walked across a plank and settled themselves on the wood floorboards, cutlass in hand. Columbus, a brave man stepped forward.
Take what you want but dont lay a finger upon my crew. He and the others laughed heartily.
Ah and this be not your place to talk but mine, so listen up or I will personally send this pile of boards and the crew with it to the depths of the ocean, shouted Blackbeard. Columbus spit next to him defiantly. Lock him in the brig! Mr. Roberts and the young swashbuckler walked toward him. He pulled a cutlass from his sheath. You think thats smart?
I would rather die than be captured by pirates. Slowly every crewman armed himself with whatever they could find, clubs, ropes, gaffs, swords of various sizes and shapes, each man ready to die for what they believed in. The rest of the crew from the Marlin made way onto the Santa Maria. Columbus was the first to attack sending the crews into a never-ending fray. Columbus grabbed a rope and swung himself against the first crewman knocking him overboard. Meanwhile what Blackbeard didnt know was that an English fleet had followed him to this exact spot where they would end the career of a notorious pirate. The HMS Granville pulled out of its spot behind the rocks. A crewman from the Marlin noticed it and shouted a warning.
The navy is here! Quickly Blackbeard turned to see the 18 guns propped on deck facing his ship, waiting to shred it apart.
Back to the Marlin! shouted the seaman. Columbus took advantage of this and he and his men cut down half of the crew as they made way back to the Marlin. Cheers could be heard from the victorious crew.
Any orders, sir?
Ready the cannons, prepare for battle. He seemed confident but not only he knew but every man knew this battle would be their last. Columbus pulled away and headed toward the Granville.
Fire! shouted Blackbeard. The cannons roared making contact with the back of the Maria twice ripping a large whole in the cabin and killing a few crewmen. Just as the Santa Maria and the rest of the small fleet pulled behind the rocks the Granville opened fire. Blackbeard sharply turned the Marlin heading straight for the Granville stirring about to avoid the cannon shot of the opposing vessel. Blackbeard could out navigate the English officer but the crew of the Granville could overwhelm them and they both knew that and accepted it. Blackbeard sharply turned to the right then the left heading behind them and opening fire once again. The Granville steered left and they met side by side. Both crews opened fire on the other. Men from the Granville scurried onto the Marlin and Blackbeards crew was once again locked in a battle of swords, metal against metal. After an hour of fighting the Granville was victorious. Blackbeard lie sprawled against the railing blood running down his coat. He had finally been taken off the face of the map. The body was examined and it had taken five bullet wounds and twenty cutlass blows to cause his death. Columbus sailed away to discover the new world which is now America. The story of the battle he had pursued with Blackbeard went on to be passed down through four generations until it faded into legend.
Pirate Name: Bloodybill
1.) Sleeping Turtle
2.) Bronze Neckband Rare Furniture
3.) Nautilus Shell Trinket
4.) Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending name availability/OM approval), stocked and painted
5.) Parrot feather trinket (blue/yellow)
6.) Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending name availability/OM approval)
7.) Lily trinket (blue)
8.) Starfish trinket (blue)
PlunderQueen on Midnight
Queenvictori on Cobalt
Elvis Presley -- PERFORMING LIVE IN VEGAS!
Username - Micheellee
Ocean - Viridian
Once upon time... There lived this dudeee, and he was so awesome! His name was Elvis Presley. His most famous line was, "Thank you, Thank you very much!" Have you ever heard that line? Well, close your eyes and imagine taking a trip through time back to when Elvis was still alive......
"Hey everyone! How are y'all doing tonight?" asked Elvis pumped and ready to start his next show.
"Good," replied the very large crowd in unison.
"Good to hear. Are y'all ready to get the show on the road?" questioned Elvis.
"YEAH!" bursted the crowd.
And so he started to sing his crazily upbeat song Hound Dog.
"You ain't nothin' but a hound dog," he sang, "Cryin' all the time/You ain't nothin' bu--."
You know why he was cut off? Because BOOOM, out of nowhere, a big gigantic ship had came crashing through the walls! Then some dude, wearing a big hat and a cheesy coat, holding a sword, came out. He looked like he was in some cheesy pirate movie.
"ARG! Now there ye are Elvis! We were every where looking for ye. Now that we found ye, let's get a move on it! Or we`ll stuff you in Davy Jone's locker!" threatned the "pirate".
" I ain`t going ANYWHERE! I`m staying right here with my fans!" he protested.
"Too bad for ye! Crew get him!" Then suddenly, an out burst of weird looking men came out and attacked Elvis. In a matter of seconds, they had him on the floor, and they had what seemed like a million swords on his neck. He was surrounded! "Muahahaha," the lead 'pirate' laughed, "now let's go!" They then lifted Elvis up and out him on the boat. When he was on the boat the knocked him out. When Elvis woke up, he had a huge headache.
"Ugh, what kind of a ship is this?!" complained Elvis.
"It be a pirate ship to ye!" answered the 'lead pirate,'" I be the captain of this fine vessel. My name is Captain Skully McDonald Stinky Pants.
"And you like that name?" asked Elvis.
"QUIET! The name change was suggested by my daughter! She says she likes it so, so be it!" angriliy answered the Captain.
"Oh, so let me guess! The name of tihs ship is the pretty little fish?" teased Elvis.
"NO! The name of this vessel is the Adorable Angel Fish," exclaimed the Captain Skully McDonald Stinky Pants.
And just then this pretty young thing walked in.
"Well, aren`t you something?" said Elvis.
"Ay, she be my daughter. So stop hitting on her!" demanded the captain
"That pretty young thang is your daughter? Well, call Jesus 'cause I think he made a mistake. How can that pretty girl be yours?"
"Guys, quiet down," the captain`s daughter said calmly and softly.
But the captain and Elvis just kept on arguing!
"QUIET DOWN OR I`LL TAKE YER HEADS!" she screamed on the top of her lungs.
Sudenly, there was an awkward moment of silence.
"Now, my name be Sophia," said the captain's daughter," and thank ye for the compliment."
"Anyways, why in the world am I here?" asked Elvis.
"You are here because I like the way ye perform," answered Sophia.
"Oh, really?" asked Elvis.
Do you know what happened afterwards? Elvis bursted into a performance right and then. But do you know what he sang to Sophia? Thriller! He was even doing the dance and all. My favorite part was when he had his hands up like a monster and was walking around. Afterwards, Elvis and Sophia really hit it off! So they got married despite their age difference. I mean C'MON! It`s only a 25 year diffence! Elvis stayed on the ship. By now it has been 20 years and he is talking like a pirate, and looking like one too! Did I mention he smelled like one too?!
1. Bronze Neckband Furniture
2. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story stocked and painted
3.Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story
4. Sleeping Turtle.
Joined: Dec 10, 2006
Pirate: Docktarte of Sage
William Shakespeare in an Adventure With Pirates
or Why Pirates Have No Appreciation for Fine Literature
"Blast! This stupid ship will be the death o' me! I tell her to go one way, and she goes the opposite! I fill her up with Fine rum, which disappears faster than I can buy it. The cannons always miss and the sails always avoid the wind. It's cursed, I swear it!"
"Captain, I don't think it's cursed--"
"I'm the Captain, therefore I am right! The Touchy Hagfish is a cursed vessel, and I should never have bought her!"
"I think ye've had a bit too much rum."
"There is no such thing as too much rum! Port her here and we'll enjoy the town for a while. Mebbe we can find someone to fix her up. Then we'll set sail for the Mediterranean. I here there's some nice gold down there. Yes..." The Captain mumbled and moved towards his cabin, leaving the crew to fend for themselves.
As usual, the Touchy Hagfish didn't do as ordered. Instead of heading towards the side of the river, she moved upstream towards the heart of Britain. Even the crew's experienced hands and strong backs couldn't stop her. After a few more hours of sailing on the wrong course the ship was finally persuaded to head towards the side. The crew tied her off and knocked on the Captain's door.
"Sir, we finally got her to port."
"Good! Let's keep it that way. Where'd we end up, boys?" The crew members glanced at each other and one brave soul spoke.
"The Theatre district."
"What?! The Theatre district? Of all the places of England you landed me in the thick of pretty words and little rum?"
"We didn't land you here, sir. She did."
The Captain ignored the press of unfamiliar bodies against him, focusing on The Taming of the Shrew. He wondered if there was some way he could tame his Hagfish. As the play went on, a badly-formed idea was beginning to grow in his mind: an idea full of piratey misdeeds and mishaps. It was brilliant!
After the play was over, he walked clumsily back to his ship, and gathered his crew around.
"Mates, I have the most brilliant of ideas. This Shakesword guy--"
"Details, details. Anyhow, this Shakespeare guy wrote about the most efficient way to tame a wench, and I was thinkin' we could kidnap him and force him to tame our Hagfish." He got quite a few blank stares. "I mean, what's a vessel made of wood a cloth compared to a saucy wench made of flesh and bones?" He discussed his plan in more detail with his crew, ignoring their horror-struck faces.
"Captain, are you sure this will work?"
"Yes! Don't question me. All of my plans work! Now who wants to be the lovely lass we'll use to seduce him over here?" Nobody raised their hand. "Okay, then. You, greenie! Get some coconuts, that shiny trinket over there, and some sail cloth and have Rattlespeare--"
"Shakespeare here by tomorrow morning!"
The next morning when the Captain woke, Shakespeare was bound to a mast looking very angry. The greenie who had fetched him looked a little worse for it, so the Captain decided to promote him to Pirate, possibly Officer. The Captain walked up to Shakespeare, who fixed a glare on him. The Captain wasn't bothered at all. He merely adjusted his jaunty hat with a haughty smile.
"I am the Captain of this ship, and I demand that you fix her!"
"What would you like me to do? I am not a pirate, I don't have a clue."
"She never does what the crew needs! She goes where she wants, when she wants! The ship should be at the mercy of the captain, not the opposite! I saw your play yesterday, the one about taming that saucy lass, and if anyone could tame this heap of wood it would be you. Do whatever you did to Kate."
"Kate was drawn from my mind. A ship is a real thing, not of her kind." Shakespeare looked at the Captain with disgust.
"Do you need a little bit of...persuasion?" The Captain drew his sword, a fearsome looking thing, and pointed it towards the bound bard.
"Do not draw your sword! I'll fix her; you have my word. Perhaps you could start by treating her nice. That is my only piece of advice." His voice was shaky with fear.
"Pah! Treat her nice? That never works with the wenches." The boat creaked at that moment, as if in disdain. Shakespeare stared knowingly at the Captain, as if he suddenly understood the root of his problems.
"Do you really believe that? I would--"
"Don't you dare spout off another rhyme!" The Captain turned on his heel and stalked back to his rooms. He had some thinking to do. There just had to be a way to get Shakespeare to reveal his wench-taming secrets!
The Captain had tried everything from mild forms of torture the finest rum to get Shakespeare to reveal his woman-breaking secrets. Nothing had worked!
And the rum had been a particularly bad idea. The stupid playwright had just gone on and on about how he wished that he was manlier and that he had a few more lasses warming his bed and that he should have treated his last conquest right and never released that stupid play and that he should have known that a lass as ugly as the Greenie was a guy.
Occasionally the Captain was serenaded. For some reason Shakespeare was obsessed with his "golden locks" and "rose-soft lips", not that the bard had a chance to see just how rose-soft the Captain's lips actually weren't. They were weather-chapped and sea-salty. Nothing Shakespeare would have enjoyed. In one unusual sober moment, the Captain had considered humoring him in his romantic conquests just so he could know his secret of breaking the woman. Then he drank some rum, and the thought was perished.
In its place, another thought hatched. Perhaps Shakespeare actually knew what he was talking about. Maybe you needed to shape a woman to your will with a honeyed tongue and a pleasant gaze. At that thought, the Captain decided he was far too sober and ambled back up to his cabin to get well and truly drunk.
A couple days later, the crew was grumbling. There was talk of mutiny and murder. That was when the captain decided to take Shakespeare's advice. He snuck out of his quarters during the middle of the night (his Pirates were fierce fighters, and he didn't want to be at the wrong end of the sword just because of this silly bard) and asked Shakespeare to compose a masterpiece, something worthy of the Touchy Hagfish, something worthy of a queen.
Shakespeare just grinned and stood with his ankles still shackled to the mast. He took on a dramatic pose and cleared his voice before loudly proclaiming, "I knew you would come around; perhaps with this you and your boat can find common ground:
Shall I compare thee to the sea's soft breeze,
Which gently touches my wind-worn features?
It does not always bluster by with ease,
It sometimes carries the scent of creatures.
It cannot have the power of your sails,
It is not built of the finest wood.
So other things in comparison pale
To all of your features that are so good.
I will not insult you by being dumb
Because I know the greatness of this boat.
If you were to sink I would be so glum
That I'd never seek another to float.
Please allow me to navigate a course;
I promise I shan't use excessive force!" By the end of the poem, almost the entire crew had emerged from their sleeping quarters, disgruntled from being awoken from their rum-soaked dreams. At the sonnet's conclusion, the crew was flabbergasted.
"Mate, I thought you were supposed to be a great crafter of words! That was awful; it was a violation of the worse kind against English language."
"Yar! My parrot writes better verses!" There was a squawk of agreement.
Shakespeare seemed to deflate. "Please cut me some slack! A good editor I lack!"
"Would you stop with the blasted rhyming?!" The Captain was a picture of fury. His face was tomato-red, and even his eyebrows seemed to be bristling with rage. "I went through all the trouble of kidnapping you and torturing you! I even gave you rum--Arrrgh! What a waste of rum--and in return you give me that drivel! I am offended and enraged! Boys, set up the plank! This bard is going overboard!" The crew gladly set up the plank, and there were no frowns as Shakespeare was prodded down the plank until he landed in the river, flailing wildly.
Afterwards, the Captain decided to leave England, and amazingly enough the Touchy Hagfish went along with his will. Perhaps it was the poem that suddenly made the sloop obedient (although the Captain doubted it) or perhaps it was just glad to be rid of Shakespoon, Sharkspeare, Shakespeare, whatever...
From that day forward, the Touchy Hagfish and its crew lived happily ever after, pillaging chestfuls of gold in the Mediterranean and burning any of Shakespeare's plays they came across.
1. Sleeping Turtle
2. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending name availability/OM approval), stocked and painted
3. Bronze Neckband Rare Funiture
4. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending name availability/OM approval)
5. Nautilus Shell trinket (blue)
6. Lily trinket (blue)
7. Parrot feather trinket (blue/yellow)
8. Starfish trinket (blue)
Avatar drawn by Sinistergoat
Joined: Dec 18, 2005
Pythagoras of Samos in an adventure with pirate
Pythagoras of Samos was a philosopher, he was also a mysterious and secret figure who believed the world was round, well actually he believed that all celestial bodies were spherical, but no one believed him, and others laughed at his theory. So one day as he had nothing better to do he built a sea vessel and called it the "Heavy Stonefish" though why anyone would call a vessel expected to float heavy is proof that while minds can be great they are not always practical, and he set out to prove that he was right he tried to sail to the end of the world map and beyond.
His journey was not much of a fun adventure, for all he did was sail his little boat, on and on he sailed seeing nothing, so he spent a lot of time counting which could be why later in life he was to become known as the father of numbers, then wonder of wonders he engaged in a battle with some pirates, for some reason he threw donkeys instead of swords, and managed to win the battle, as he took the ship, a huge black ship rose from the sea, blasted the little boat with a ruthless salvo of cannon fire, the little vessel took so many shots the holes made it looked like a sea sponge. He was then attacked by a horde of pirates they barely left him alive before they disappeared as quickly as they had come. The bilge on the little boat dramatically climbed, and the crabs began to rush in. As the crab started nipping at him, Pythagoras caught and cooked them, and enjoyed a hearty crab gumbo.
As he continued on his journey, he found a cute little octopus and thought it would make a worthy companion, he gave him a special cuteness potion to drink, but unfortunately he gave the octopus the wrong potion, and the octopus grew large and angry, it put Pythagoras and the little ship into a bottle, and placed it in his sea house as a decoration.
Pythagoras was a very clever man and quickly got bored in the bottle so he began to calculate using his mathematical ability a theory that would enable him to escape from the bottle and he thought, if X = me times 15. XY + 1.5 times x to the power of 2, it would be possible to shatter the bottle into little pieces and he would be able to escape, luckily he was right. His brilliant escape from the bottle meant that he could continue his adventure.
But due to a long period of inactivity he found he was getting sea sick, it got really bad and he was forced to act quickly he could not get to the side of the vessel so he used his mug, in almost the same breath a bunch of pirates popped up and engaged him in battle, sadly he lost and they took everything on board, all his booty, his fruit and rum including the mug. Pythagoras was sure he saw a pirate drink from the mug but that was too horrible to contemplate and he looked away.
1. Sleeping Turtle
2. Bronze Neckband Rare Funiture
3. Parrot feather trinket (blue/yellow)
4. Nautilus Shell trinket (blue)
5. Lily trinket (blue)
6. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending 4. name availability/OM approval), stocked and painted
7. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending name availability/OM approval)
8. Starfish trinket (blue)
My first comic
Joined: Apr 14, 2007
Harry Frazee couldn't believe his luck. He just came out of his office after he sold Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees and somehow he was in the pirate age! What did he ever do to anyone? All he did was sell most of the athletes on his team, the Red Sox, to the New York Yankees. Was that so bad? What was wrong with making a little money? It's not like the Yankees would now win 26 World Series and would curse the Red Sox for 86 years right? It wasn't like Babe Ruth was the best baseball player ever! Harry took a deep breath.
"Alright Harry," he said to himself, "You can get through this." He walked up to someone with an eyepatch and a peg leg. "Excuse me," Harry said. The person drew out a cutlass out of a golden sheath and pointed it at Harry's throat. Harry realized in horror that this person must be a pirate!
"Arr, who be you in all them there fancy clothes. Are you in the navy?" asked the pirate.
"Um, er, of course not I am Harry Frazee and I'm a pirate too just like you," said Harry.
"I don't believe you" said the pirate, "I bet you don't even know the pirate code."
Harry gulped. He had no idea what the pirate code was. He thought about his years in school and thought. Maybe his teacher mentioned before about what the pirate code was. He knew he wouldn't remember. When the teacher was teaching them about pirates, he wasn't really listening. He was too busy reading his copy of "How to Sell People and Make A Lot of money for Dummies." He then remembered reading in his book that pirates loved money almost as much as him. He knew that was ridiculous because nobody loved money as much as him. He also rembered reading in it what the pirate code was.
"Don't make me sell you!" Harry said.
"So you do know the code. Very good. So you are that assasin I hired.
"Um, well I don't know..." said Harry.
"Ofcourse you are," said the pirate. "I know someone who's cheap and would do anything for money when I see one. Now I need you to bring me back a person named Captain Kidd on the other side of this island. He's on a ship called the "Spaz Cat. I'll pay you 20,000 dobloons.
"Ofcouse I'm the assasin," Harry said quickly. I'll get back Captain Kidd immediately!
"Alright, get him back here quickly", said the pirate.
"Yes, ofcourse it won't be long."
Harry was across the island in 30 seconds. When he had a chance to get money he made sure he got the money. When he got there he saw a huge ship. He ran into the water and climbed the side of the ship. Many pirates unsheathed swords and attempted to stop him. That wasn't going to happen. All of the pirates were knocked out in 4 minutes. Captain Kidd cowered in fear of the might of Harry Frazee! Harry used the strategy he used to sell players on Captain Kidd.
"I ain't here to hurt ye," said Harry in a sweet voice.
"Arr, that's good matey," said Captain Kidd.
"I just came here for you to sign this contract," said Harry.
"But I can't read," said Captain Kidd.
"You don't need to, just sign here," said Harry.
"Alright I'll sign," said Captain Kidd.
"Alright just come with me," said Harry.
Harry and Captain Kidd began their journey to the other side of the island. They went through a settlement where they saw a woman and a child holding hands. They looked rich.
"Mommy, mommy look a pirate!" said the little kid. "I've always wanted a pirate!
"I can't buy him I only have 30,000 dobloons in spending money.
Harry overheard them.
"That's plenty of money to buy him," said Harry.
"What you can't sell me!" Captain Kidd said.
"Sure I can your under contract," Harry said.
"Darn, I knew I should of went to college." said Captain Kidd.
"Deal," said the mom and Harry sold Captain Kidd to some random little kid.
Harry spend the rest of his days selling pirates. He sold many famous ones. He sold Henry Every to a some guy who ate a lot of cheese. He sold Francois L'Ollonais to some guy who ate a lot of bread. He sold Blackbeard to a girl who liked to play dress up. Harry spent the rest of his days selling pirates. Eventually he ended the pirate age and gave the navy control of the seas agian. And who said Harry Frazee could only sell athletes for money?!
Bamify of the Sage Ocean
1. sloop renamed to match the ship from my story fully stocked and painted
2. sloop renamed to match the ship from my story
3. Bronze neckband rare furniture
4. Sleeping Turtle
5. Parrot feather trinket
Pirate = Rockle of Sage
Mother Teresa of Calcutta in an Adventure with Pirates
Or: The Lost Diary of Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu
(Translated from the Armenian* by Rockle)
23 October 1931
Well, this just sucks. My people are being slaughtered by the Turks, my parents don't understand me, Otto just dumped me for that wicked witch ... that's it! I'm out of here, I'm joining a convent, just try and stop me! I can't take it any more.
26 October 1931
For eighteen years, my parents won't listen to me, but one day when I throw a tantrum they finally pay attention? I don't know what they slipped in my baklava the other day, but I just woke up an hour ago all alone on a boat in my grubbiest clothes with a screaming headache and a note pinned to my sweater, written in my father's hand:
"The constant drama has broken your mother's heart, so we've arranged for you to join the nuns in Loretto. Oh, you can get a head start on your vow of poverty, because your trust fund has been permanently revoked. Have fun storming the castle, and don't forget the sunscreen! Love, Dad. PS If you meet Sister Adelaida of the Sorrows, please tell her that I miss her terribly and some nights I still dream of the time when she was just 'Sofia from Rome' and we would lay together on the sands of Saint-Tropez, nibbling on baguettes and sipping champagne from each others navels, our bronzed limbs tangled together, and our hair smelling of oranges and seawater and teenage lust."
29 October 1931
I dont know how the hell long it's supposed to take to get to Loretto by boat, but I'm beginning to think that this captain is up to his eyeballs in absinthe, or something, because we've been floating around the Mediterranean in circles for days now and we're not getting any-damn-where. This cruise stinks. Mark my words: I will wear a sari and tend to the lepers and care for the poor before I ever get aboard the Drunken Monkeyfish again.
1 November 1931
Something strange happened last night. Another boat pulled alongside ours, and several men climbed onto our ship. There was arguing in a foreign language Portuguese, perhaps? and intermittent gunfire and the clanging of metal on metal. I spent most of the night in my cabin praying to God that I would get my sea legs soon (how long does it take, anyway? I've been on this blasted boat for a week!), but just before dawn I crept up to the deck. I saw a man, a tri-corn hat perched upon his head at a jaunty angle, and a scabbard hanging from his belt. His face was tanned and weathered, and he was drinking something from a plain brown jug. I didn't hear him speak, but he had a booming laugh. He paced along the rails and I heard a quiet jangling as he walked, as if his pockets were stuffed with coins. I also thought I heard, but I cannot be sure, whispers coming from the crew: "Pirates." Which is ridiculous, because everyone knows that pirates don't exist, but still: I can feel the weirdness in the air now, a certain heaviness, and I can sense that man's presence everywhere I go. It smells of teak and rum. Very disturbing.
2 November 1931
Today I was rudely pulled from my cabin and brought to the deck to meet the mysterious stranger. He says his name is Aruns. He asked where I was going and when I told him Loretto he laughed at me, that ridiculous chuckle of his that vibrates in my stomach. I lied to him and told him my name was Teresa. Then he put me to work, doing something called bilging, which is as stupid a thing for me to be doing as converting a Hindu temple into a home for the dying. Mr. Aruns claims to be a pirate as if! and he said he would make me walk the plank if I didn't comply with his command. Whatever. I did this "bilging" nonsense, but only because the cooperative members of the crew were being well fed. At the end of the day, maybe 14 hours of puzzling over how to get water out of the ship, I was rewarded with two strange pieces of gold. Mr. Aruns says they are ancient pieces of eight. They're pieces of something, alright, but I don't have time to argue because I am exhausted. Muscles ache where I didn't know I had muscles.
4 November 1931
After three days of solid bilging, I was invited tonight to dine with Mr. Aruns. What a loon! He told me such tales that you could not possibly believe. Pillages, and treasure hauls, and brigand kings, and other escapades with his "mates of the crew Pondera, under the flag of the Allied Surayama Forces." I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him I mean, really, I am not the smartest girl in the world, but I am familiar with some geography and politics, and even I know that no such flag exists. Unless maybe they come from America, or something everyone knows America is crazy, so anything could be going on over there. The man is clearly deranged. Still, I couldnt help but feel a twinge in my heart when he spoke in such glowing and ribald language about his "favorite wenches," two women called Rumsundae and Lupeloca. They do not sound like virtuous women, but perhaps I would enjoy making their acquaintance. Crazy as a bedbug, he is, but it is evident that he loves often and well. He called me Teresa at dinner and joked with the men that someday I would make an excellent mother. I felt my breath catch in my throat when he asked to see me to my cabin to ensure that I was "properly put to bed," seeing as how I was surrounded on the Drunken Monkeyfish by vagabonds and scoundrels. What did this mean? I am embarrassed to admit that I felt an unfamiliar but not unwelcome feeling in my knees, as if they were about to collapse from under me. Alas, he merely saw me to my door, ever-so-politely kissed my hand, and disappeared while I held my breath. I noticed that up close he smells of teak and rum and gold and danger and adventure and oranges and seawater.
6 November 1931
It's a tragedy! The feeling's gone, and I cant go on! Today more men came aboard the ship, not nice ones like Mr. Aruns, but nasty ones. They grappled our boat and there was rumbling and swordfighting and oh! It was horrible. They took some of Aruns's gold, and rum, and stone, and they left a great deal of damage to the boat. Aruns and his men left after them, leaving me alone with these rubes who were manning the ship before he got here, and the memory of our only kiss, a last sweet goodbye. He tastes as delicious as he smells who would have thought that that teak and rum and oranges would taste so rich, or that gold and danger and adventure and seawater would leave such a bittersweet residue on my lips after? I watched his ship sail away, and I do believe that I saw the flag of the Allied Surayama Forces, and I can sense in my soul that he is safe among his mates of the crew Pondera. But, still, already I miss him. And now the captain is saying that we are approaching Loretto and should be there in two more days, and at the convent one more day after.
15 November 1931
Been with the sisters for a week now. Happy here, but I will never again be as happy as I was those days and nights aboard the Drunken Monkeyfish, with Aruns supervising me as I bilged myself into a blissful oblivion, drinking rum right from the jug and listening to his tales of swashbuckling and daring on the high seas. I know I'll never love that way again, so I have decided to continue my missionary work with the sisters until such time as I can take my vows and join their order. Those things Ive said I'll never do - Wear a sari? Tend to the lepers? Care for the poor? Convert a Hindu temple into a home for the dying? These are my new goals. Someday, I will do all these things. But I'm still never getting on that damned boat again.
(* = Not really.)
1. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending name availability/OM approval), stocked and painted
2. Sloop, renamed to match the ship from your story (pending name availability/OM approval)
3. Bronze Neckband Rare Funiture
4. Sleeping Turtle
5. Parrot feather trinket (blue/yellow)
6. Nautilus Shell trinket (blue)
7. Lily trinket (blue)
8. Starfish trinket (blue)
Joined: Apr 14, 2007
I forgot to say what prizes I want if I win. SORRY!
1. sloop renamed to match the ship from my story fully stocked and painted
2. sloop renamed to match the ship from my story
3. Bronze neckband rare furniture
4. Sleeping Turtle
5. Parrot feather trinket blue/yellow
6. starfish trinket
7. Nautilus Shell Trinket
8. lily trinket blue
Bamify of the Sage Ocean
1. sloop renamed to match the ship from my story fully stocked and painted
2. sloop renamed to match the ship from my story
3. Bronze neckband rare furniture
4. Sleeping Turtle
5. Parrot feather trinket
Joined: Jul 27, 2003
1. Jimminy of Midnight Ocean, Flag Seraph's Nightmare, Crew Forbidden Dreams (~1200 words or so as per Word's count before I edited in the forum field)
2. My story: "Helen Keller in an Adventure with Pirates!"
Helen couldn't help but notice that this particular trip back from Japan was much longer than previous trips. It was also more humid than ever before... at least over the past week. Everything seemed fine for the first month, aside from the absence of Anne Sullivan's presence, of course. But then it got very cold... and then it got VERY warm.
Helen had taken to wearing her skirts tied short. Her hair was wound in a bun and neatly tied under a handkerchief. She even threw propriety to the wind and unbuttoned a few of the top buttons on her blouse. It was just too hot for decorum!
Helen, having spent a while exploring the ship, found a task that seemed to be helpful to the stalwart crew. She knew how to pump water, and it sort of reminded her of her childhood-- where was, Annie? Did she take the wrong ship? It's not like her to get misplaced like this! Annie normally doted on Helen like a mother hen... But in retrospect, Helen figured that maybe it would be nice to have just ONE trip without her hovering and fussing!
So Helen passed the days by working the bilge pumps. The damp lower decks were good for staying out of the hot sun and the water flowing from the valves felt nice when she could run it over her hands. She spent most of the day pumping the bilge and humming to herself. At days end, someone would take her by the arm to the evening meal.
The meals were almost always a slab of salted pork, a wedge of lime and a cup of the foulest smelling rum she had ever laid nose on. (She used the lime to make it taste better.) However, it was worth noting that the menu was occasionally interrupted with the most delicious fish she had ever tasted! Helen would happily work the bilges a whole week as long as they served that flakey, delicious fish every Sunday at sundown!
And to top it all off, the kind crewman with the rough hands would help her to a restful night's sleep in a wide hammock. With the hard day's work and gentle rocking, it was the loveliest sleep she had ever had!
So the weeks (months?) passed and Helen was happy. She would get home someday. She might as well enjoy the trip!
Captain Dodge scratched his beard as he studied the strange new female deck hand. The first mate, Jimminy, leaned against the railing and idly watched her as she worked the bilge handle. Dodge asked again, "She just walked aboard in Japan and nobody planked her?"
Jimminy looked aghast, "Aw, Cap'n! Be kind! She was too... y'know... NICE! How were we supposed to run a fine lass like herself off the plank? Besides-- she's taken to bilging. Does it all day. Only eats the one meal and just one cup'a rum! Way I see it, Cap'n... We're makin' poe off the lass... Even if she IS a bit green."
Dodge sniffed and smirked to himself. Well, if she's a PROFIT, then that's something else entirely! However-- be that as it may, Dodge did have something to address. There was just the one niggling little thing: "Jim, some of the swabs have told me she can't see and doesn't hear a word..."
Jimminy screwed his face up in thought as if this was the first he'd heard of it. "Yeah... I could see how some might say that, Cap'n. But I just keep ol' Tom lookin' after her. Remember, we're makin' poe off her, so we can afford to pay Tom to do it!"
Captain Dodge did not become captain of the Dodgy Damsel without knowing the value of easy poe! "Fair enough, Jim. But tell me, what do YOU do now? Just so much lazing about now that your station is filled so capably?"
Jim shrugged innocently, "Gives me more time in the nest, Cap'n. Lookin' for merchant ships to plunder. Makin' us more poe, if ye get me drift..."
Dodge grinned expansively, "Good thinking, Jim! I do get your drift! Ye should get back at it! Find us some targets to plunder!"
Helen noticed something different today. The wind was moving faster. Footsteps on the worn deck had picked up in rhythm. She could barely keep her feet under her as the ship lurched about... Something was happening!
Helen stopped bilging and made her way to the deck. She wrung her hands in anxiety. She had heard of pirates and wondered if they had come to attack the ship! That would be horrible! So close to home, as well! Where was Annie?! She needed someone to tell her what was happening...
There was nothing to do but find a blunt instrument and wait until that friendly crewman with the rough hands returned. Her hand found a knotted rope. She latched onto it and tried to wrap it around herself it in case the ship lurched again-- but instead the rope slipped suddenly and kicked. A heavy, iron object slammed into her and knocked her to her feet!
That must have been a cannon! "Oh dear," she thought, "the crew must be furious!" Helen threw up her hands to tell everyone it was an accident, but her fist accidentally struck someone in the face! She felt the poor devil fall to the deck.
This was horrible. Not only did she fire a cannon accidentally, but now she has struck some poor soul in the face! How would she ever explain? She was so terrified, she dashed across the deck in guilt. Running blindly, she felt her head crack against another skull. Helen swooned and she fell to her back. The world turned sideways and did little loops... The last thing she remembered was being hoisted up by numerous hands into the air... Oh no! They were going to throw her overboard! Helen then lapsed into unconsciousness...
Captain Dodge dabbed a damp rag at his eye as he studied the brave, unconscious woman, "She fired the telling blow and then bested two rivals in unarmed combat?"
Jim was still a little dizzy from a bad blow to the head. "It's what I saw, Cap'n. She rushed to that gun, fired the shot right into their ammunition stores, punched one of 'em in the face and then head-butt that one that almost took your head off! She finished off the last one!"
Dodge mulled this over as he watched his crew of ruthless cut-throats pamper and nurse the lass like she was their only daughter. "The men have certainly taken a shine to her, Jim."
"Aye, sir. There's talk of making her officer."
Dodge had heard enough. He clapped his hands and looked to the horizon. "Well then! I think it's time we get her home... Make a course for the nearest port, Jim."
"Aye-aye, Cap'n! Right away, sir!"
Captain Dodge sighed and shook his head as Jim ran off to consult the charts. The last thing he needed was competition in the form of a blind and deaf female with a left hook and a work ethic! This officer stuff was hard enough as it is...
Helen got home safely a few weeks later. The first thing she did was write an apologetic letter to the president of the steamer company for her appalling behavior on board the vessel. Everybody told her that it would be fine and they were just glad she was home-- but Helen could never live with herself until she apologized for acting like a... well, a wanton pirate on board that fateful trip.
- The End
A list of the prizes in order of preference:
1. Sloop named "Dodgy Damsel", stocked and painted (Blue with white trim preferred).
2. Sloop named "Dodgy Damsel"
3. Sleeping Turtle
4. Bronze Neckband Rare Funiture
5. Parrot feather trinket (blue/yellow)
6. Nautilus Shell trinket (blue)
7. Lily trinket (blue)
8. Starfish trinket (blue)
Thanks for the contest - this was enjoyable.
Jimminy, of Forbidden Dreams of flag Seraph's Nightmare on Midnight Ocean... Yaaaar! (spoon)
Joined: Oct 28, 2006
Kryshana of Sage (the most awesome ocean of all.)
Dorothea Dix's Adventure with pirates
I, Dorothea Dix, a well respected member of the community, and the improver of mental institutions and prisons while the country was in civil war, am most definitely not senile. How dare you even suggest such a thing? It's true that I was a guest of Mr. Edward Teach (Although he preferred the term captured."), a man otherwise known as Blackbeard. No, I did not slip on a puddle on the street and hit my head on the curb, falling unconscious for several days. It really happened.
It was a rainy Monday morning, the first for my holiday. Most people would say that was a bad sign, but who cares? I was going home today. I don't wish to stop every 10 minutes to have my driver fix something, so Ill be taking a ship. If I didnt take a ship, Id arrive as soon as I had to go back, which would be a complete and total waste of time.
I walked aboard the ship known as the Bright Bass and deposited my bags in my cabin. We set said and I promptly went on deck and was sick over the side. Up and down, up and down, the ship went. It made me feel queasy.
After being sick, I went back to my cabin to lie down. Then I heard - and felt- a bump. Okay, it wasnt a bump; it was a crash from the other cabin. There were several more crashing sounds and someone shouted something garbled above deck. It sounded like Amen dish pip! but thats nonsense.
I left my cabin to find out what was going on, and barely made it to the top floor, deck, whatever they call it. It was swaying for some reason, but there was nobody around to fix it. The deck-thing seemed empty, probably because of the lack of light boats. No, thats not it. Like boats? Lice boats? Life boats, thats it!
My heart sank with the realization that we were sinking, I leaned against the rail for support, when suddenly there was a crash from the other side of the ship. The force from the blow made the ship lean sideways, and I fell over the rail.
Suddenly I found myself in the water, barely treading it. My skirts were weighing me down, and my corset was making it hard to breathe.
Help! I yelled, just before going under. Water went in my mouth and made me choke, but luckily, a hand grabbed the back of my dress and pulled me up. I was hauled on to a small boat that didnt contain any of the sailors from the Bright Bass, which should now be called Sunken Shoals.
Aul us up, boss, theres nothin ere! The man who pulled me up yelled. There were strange sounds coming from above me. Once I was done coughing up all the water I swallowed, I looked over the side and saw that we were flying. Then the boat stopped abruptly. I failed to notice the black flag flying on the mast.
Now what kind o treasure do ye have for me, lads? A person on the ship asked. Turning away from the sea beneath me, I saw a man with a brown beard and glittering sea blue eyes. He smiled when he saw me.
Ah, a wench. Toss her in the cabin next to mine, mates. Ill see our guest in a while. A pair of sailors lifted me out of the boat and escorted me to my cabin; I could have found it myself. I didnt need a pair of idiots to show me everywhere. An hour later they walked me next door to the Captains cabin. I could have found that myself as well.
When I entered, the Captain looked up from his newspaper.
Ms. Dix. How very nice of you to come and see me. Sit down. He gestured to a chair in front of his desk. I sat, seeing no harm in doing so. It would be silly to think it was booby trapped.
How do you know my name?
Pigeons. They steal newspapers for us, so we know pretty much everything. Youve been in there quite a bit, you know, and we appreciate your work. He smiled evilly as he continued. The improved prisons are actually easier to escape from than before. Isnt that nice? Of course it is. Thats why well give you a free ride back. Where to?
I was extremely confused. It was obvious this man was a pirate, but he also seemed rather mad. Why would he offer me a free ride to anywhere, even though it would be of little profit to him? Oh well, he offered, his loss.
New York, please.
All right then. He went to the door and asked the same two sailors to escort me back to my cabin. As I was leaving, I heard him say to the helmsman to change direction, and that they were going to New York.
Five days later we ported in New York harbor. I had a comfortable ride and was treated nicely. As soon as I left the ship though, out came Edward, the captain, with his beard dyed black.
Attack, lads! Were gonna pillage New York city! He screamed, as they all ran off through the city. As far as I heard later, they were finally caught in an art Museum, staring at some Van Gogh. I never heard from them again.
1.Sloop, stocked painted and named ( black adn white is perferable.)
2. Sloop, named the Birght bass.
3. Sleeping Turtle
4. Bronze Neckband Rare Funiture
5. Parrot feather trinket (blue/yellow)
6. Nautilus Shell trinket (blue)
7. Lily trinket (blue)
8. Starfish trinket (blue)
I hope you like it!
Kryshana of Sage
Trishana of Viridian
Moonich of Hunter
Amelia Earhart in an Adventure with Pirates
What ever really happened to Amelia Earhart?
It was nightfall when the exhausted Amelia Mary Earhart reached the shores of what seemed to be an isolated island. Her plane had probably sunk and had long been gone after she was forced to abandon it because of some technical malfunction with her plane. It felt like losing the trusty old friend she never had.
Last time she checked, there was no problem at all with the aircraft and it was perfectly fine before she flew it. And so, the question ramming through her head as she swam towards the tiny, newly-spotted island was, Was that malfunction really an accident? Or was it sabotage?
Sleep was slowly creeping in. Her last vision before she passed out from weariness on the shore was the silhouette of something huge drawing closer to her. It looked like a vessel. Maybe it was her rescue team. Safety at last! Or so she thought
She awoke the next day to the blinding light of the sun. She was still tired from her late night swim so she just lay there on the sand, all dirty and covered in a mess. She could still smell the saltiness of the ocean and the unspoiled richness of the unpopulated island. There was a particular smell she was well acquainted with. She wasnt sure though what that civilized smell was doing in a place like this. It was the smell of frying eggs. Something wasnt right. What happened to her rescue team?
Oh so your awake now young lass, said a scrawny man with an even scrawnier voice. Ahoy!
Amelia quickly stood up, now aware that she wasnt alone and that this place wasnt uninhabited after all. Uh Ahoy ?
Wait a minute, she thought, did I just say ahoy?! There were two possibilities as to who that man (more of a creature) was. One, a deranged man. Or two, a sea thief. Or as the moderns called it, Pirates. Either way, she still didnt want to be even near him.
It took her long enough to process the reason why she was still in the island and not in the safety of her rescue team. That vessel drawing close to her that night wasnt a rescuers ship. It was a pirates ship.
Name and status, Pirate? she demanded, firmly but short. Her training at her flight academy didnt seem to rub off even as she was stranded out of nowhere.
Javy Dones (notice anything familiar?) mam! Cabin person mam! he said, making a poor imitation of something that looked like a salute. It took you long enough to figure that out. Anyway, since youre awake now, lass, the Captn would like to have a word with you. We were supposed to have slaughtered you while you were asleep last night because one, you were on our treasure island, and two, you may have seen us coming. But the Captn changed his mind for some unknown reason.
The scraggy man now seemed like more of a threat in under a minute.
Arent treasure islands supposed to be hidden? she asked innocently, trying hard to remember the pirate stories from her childhood years. She also kept in mind not to mess with these pirates for she could be the one who would be pretty messed up later on.
Aye. This is hidden by magic. Our captain has done marvelous things. Was able to get some ocean goddess to hide this island. I dont know how you found it though.
Magic? she thought, oh please. First pirates, now this? And who is this great captain of theirs anyway?
He stood up, pointing at something behind her. She turned to the shore and saw the most magnificent pirate ship ever (even though that was the first she ever saw). It was heavily painted with maroon. The words Tough Angelfish were majestically painted in gold. The name was very eccentric to her since angelfishes were the gentle kinds of fishes and the adjective tough seemed to paradoxically contradict it.
Javy Dones led her to the beautiful ship. Once she went aboard the fine vessel, she remembered the old saying that a ship is no place for a woman. Think again.
The whole crew was composed of filthy looking men who snickered at her as she passed by. But then again, she looked almost as filthy as them.
She was led across all the guns, bunks, and gunpowder to the Captains Headquarters. It had the biggest door. Painted in gold of course.
A word of advice fair lass, he said as he was opening the door. Tell. The. Truth.
It was almost a whisper. She could smell his breath very fish-like.
She stepped in, admiring the beautiful furniture. The door closed behind her. Great, she thought, not feeling slightly surprised. No escapes for me.
She went deeper inside the humongous room. The bed was made of silk! These pirates were filthy rich. Out of the corner of her eye she saw something familiar. A picture with herself and with
Why, Hello Amelia! said a voice from behind her. Glad you woke up!
She quickly turned around, surprised. Neta? she said, trying to make out if it was really her long lost mentor who supposedly drowned at sea. It is you! Neta Snook!
She, Neta Snook, the first woman graduate of the Curtiss School of Aviation, taught her how to fly.
What are you doing here? I thought you died. Why didnt you come back? Whyd you decide to become a pirate, and worse, their captain? Why are u navigating this ship? Its the farthest thing from the sky which you loved! I love the sky too so I know how it feels. Dont you miss the feeling of flying?
Whoa. So many questions! First of all, I do miss the feeling. Second, I didnt come back because I couldnt even if I was navigating the ship. The sailors wouldnt let me. When their former Captain, Barnabas the Pale, found me in this very island, he wanted to kill me. But one of the sailors, Vargas, wanted to spare me. That Vargas is now the first mate of this ship. Anyway, he told the Captain to challenge me to a swordfight. If he loses, then I would be made the new captain since no one has ever beaten him before. If I lose, then hed either kill me, leave me here to die, or Id become a cabin person. Either way, I was bound to die. By luck, I won. So Barnabas, tutored me and several times tried to kill me. In the end, he killed himself because he could take it in that a girl like me beat him. I made a lot of changes. This island wasnt hidden yet. I had one heck of an epic adventure when I had to do everything that I could to get from Callipso, the sea goddess, a sea barrier. That way, only the captains of this ship will be able to see past through the invisible barrier. So we stacked our loot under a secret cellar under this island. We became the richest pirates at sea. Now I can never go back since we stole from so many cargo ships that they might imprison me when I get back. So now, I have to live this Captains curse, telling myself that I shouldve let Barnabas kill me.
Amelia couldnt believe it. She knew Neta was tough, yes, but she didnt know she could do all this!
She went straight to the point. Could I get a ride home? I have a husband probably searching for me and all the others.
Amelia, Amelia, Amelia, said Neta Snook, rubbing her temples. Dont you ever learn? I told you that the first rule to aviation is to check and secure your ship. You obviously didnt do that.
But I did!
Then if what you are saying is true Im sorry to tell you this but you were sabotaged, she took a deep breath. Think about it. You fully checked it, am I right? Maybe after you did that, someone stuck something in your plane. You are the greatest avian flier! How could you crash in a place you are most familiar with? You had worse scenarios. How do I know? I steal newspapers once in a while, she said, winking.
Amelia thought. She was indeed in worse scenarios then this accident. There was a time when almost the whole of her ship froze because of the low temperature. All she had to do was to go lower so the temperature will rise.
Then she remembered something. I know who did it, she said sadly.
I know too, said Neta.
It was her husband. She had been married for a year with him. She told him that at the end of the year, she would merge assets with him. She had a lot of money because of her flights to different countries, setting records everywhere.
I cant go back now, Amelia said, talking to herself out loud. If it really is him, then he would try killing her several times again. She wouldnt wait for him to succeed.
Get me to the nearest bank. Im going to get my money back and donate it to the less fortunate.
Now you are learning Amelia. Now you are learning, Neta said, a smile creeping across her face.
You did a pretty good job out there, said Neta. They she had sent her pirates, disguised as gentlemen (They werent all that trying on the suits. Believe me, you wouldnt want to know.) to go to the bank to withdraw all the money. Amelia was there, with a veil on her face. After that, she gave it to the orphanage.
Yeah, she said, dazed by the sunset. The snickering, scrawny pirates respected her now that they knew what she could do.
You can go back if you want to. But as a friend, I think you shouldnt.
I know I wont, said Amelia.
So how about a pillage? A voyage? Believe me, its just like flying except you can feel all of the wind in your face.
I cant wait! she said. She had learned how to rumble, swordfight, and drink til
she was full today. Everything in one day!
She was a pirate now. One of them. And she will always be. That accident led her to her new life. A new beginning, a new end.
Trianna of Viridian
1) Sleeping Turtle
2) Sloop, stocked and painted
4) Bronze Neckband Rare Furniture
5) Nautilus Shell Trinket
6) Parrot Feather Trinket
7) Lily Trinket
8) Starfish Trinket
|[Show Printable Version of Thread] [Post new Thread]|