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Print at May 22, 2019 4:35:21 PM

Posted by Gulpofbilge at Apr 30, 2013 11:57:44 PM
Re: [ENTRY THREAD] Piratical Pourquoi Storytime! [Deadline April 30, 2013]
Gulpofbilge of Meridian

Where Berserker Pelts Really Come From
Rotten Sam was a zombie of Meridian Ocean. He loved to stumble and stagger about with his brethren from island to island picking fights with the fleshies. It was what zombies did best, and Rotten Sam was the best of the best. He could rumble with one hand and often did as his left arm often fell off during a match. All the zombies looked up to him, from the youngest to the oldest. Rotten Sam had, however, a deep, dark secret. At night when he made his way to his house, which was nothing more than a rotting stump, he would cuddle with a group of friends. These friends were not zombies. They couldn't even moan or groan intelligent zombie musings. No, these friends were nothing more than a large pile of teddy bears.
Rotten Sam knew it was wrong. He was a fearsome zombie, and yet night after night he would cuddle with these adorable bears. He would speak to them, groaning only loving thoughts, such as "Fluffy no fleshie. I love Fluffy."
One day though another zombie followed Rotten Sam home. It was Stinking Liza, who had long harbored a crush on Rotten Sam. She had no idea what her stalking would reveal to her. When she staggered up and saw the green zombie rolling about in a pile of teddy bears she felt ill. She couldn't believe it.
Rotten Sam saw Stinking Liza and the horror on her decomposing face as she stared at him in the cuddly pile. He knew what he had to do. He couldn't live with the shame anymore. So with a mighty zombie groan, Rotten Sam tore the head off of each and every one of his teddy bears, tossing the once loved heads by a nearby tailor stall.
The next morning when the tailor came to his stall to open up shop, he saw the many teddy bear heads. Not one to pass up an opportunity to make more poe, he gathered the heads and made them into berserker pelts for only the most fashionable pirates to wear.
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Gulpofbilge of Meridian, The Guppy
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