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Print at May 24, 2019 12:22:57 AM
|Posted by budclare2 at Apr 30, 2013 5:06:36 PM|
Re: [ENTRY THREAD] Piratical Pourquoi Storytime! [Deadline April 30, 2013]
Why Pirates Have Noses on April Fools' Day
One day long ago, Apollo woke up on a fine spring morning with a hangover. Well, morningish. Actually, it was more like afternoon. The Sun God would have been embarrassed to have missed so much of the day were it not for the fact that he felt like a pile of manure spread on toast. Immortality or no, he swore he was about to die.
"Morning," said Crow, mocking him. Apollo dimly remembered drunkenly explaining to most of the inn's patrons that Crow was actually just a black/black parrot. No wonder Crow was mad at him; years of dedicatedly pecking at corpses to support his bad-booty crow persona, completely undermined in a single night of rum.
Well, too bad. It was a ridiculous affectation anyway. Apollo glared at him defiantly, then buried his head under the pillow.
The pounding on the inside of his skull slowly receded--Athena? Is that you? he groggily wondered--and a word started to nag at him, so gently at first that he didn't even notice until it became more insistent. "Syzygy?" he muttered into his pillow, still not quite alert enough to understand.
"Syzygy," Crow crowed in confirmation.
Apollo yelped and sprang from his bed and dashed into the street, fortunately clothed. "Thank the gods, he's wearing pants this time," passersby whispered.
Ignoring them, he squinted into the sky. The bright, clear sky and the bright, clear sun. He sagged in relief. He would have been furious with himself if Artemis had managed to take advantage of his carelessness.
He set his jaw and willed the dregs of his hangover out of his head. He'd need all his focus to rebuff his sister's attempt to eclipse him; she was a serious threat to him in a battle of wills even when he was at his best. Stupid rum.
"What are you doing?" one of his neighbors asked, seeing Apollo standing in the middle of the street staring at his other aspect like some lovesick sunflower. Or a narcissus. A sunissus.
"I'm watching for my sister," Apollo said defensively. "There might be an eclipse today."
"Fah, she's already been and gone. Where were you?"
Apollo's jaw dropped. "WHAT?!" he managed finally.
People were gathering behind him, whispering. He could make out words like "deadbeat" and "slacker". He blushed, but used his divine powers to pretend he hadn't.
He spun around to face them. "Now see here. I was busy with important god business," he blustered. "Do you want your crops to die? Your laundry to stay soggy even though you've hung it up all day to dry? Do you want a vitamin D deficiency? Who but me can stop those things from happening? I'M A VERY BUSY PERSON. God. God person. Don't all of you have better things to do?"
The small crowd of people gawked at him...and then, one by one, started to snicker.
Crow landed on his shoulder, smirking. Apollo spun back around just in time to see his sister--his boring, craggy sister--snuff him out of the sky as if he were a common candle. His pride ached like it was a real thing that could ache, like a stubbed toe or a tooth.
"Barnacle," Apollo said with feeling.
"April Fools'," Crow replied.
And so in commemoration of her favorite eclipse ever, Artemis gives everyone a nose on April 1st of every year, just so she can tweak Apollo's.
Budclare on Meridian
I want a cookie.
(Imp turned me into a dolly! :D)
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