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» » » » Post: Re: [ENTRY THREAD] Piratical Pourquoi Storytime! [Deadline April 30, 2013]
Print at May 23, 2019 6:43:18 AM
|Posted by Ladyslabor at Apr 30, 2013 4:10:39 PM|
Re: [ENTRY THREAD] Piratical Pourquoi Storytime! [Deadline April 30, 2013]
How the Parrot came to be Tamed.
This is a story recounting the infamous exploits of a notorious female pirate known as Lady Kildrew. Now Lady K, as she was known to her friends, was notorious for many things, but amongst all of her faults stood one glaring flaw - she was a terrible gambler. Not like your common gambler who loved the hearts and poker tables but an absurd gambler, she would bet on anything and everything. She'd wager she could drink the fastest, she'd wager she could balance a falchion on her finger the longest. You name it, she'd bet on it. Now this notorious betting addiction had landed Lady K into a number of tight spots, not to mention more than her fair share of Gamblers Anonymous meetings... Now at this particular moment Lady K had had a particularly bad spat of luck. She was broke, not even a single shiny poe piece to her name. Her name was sometimes laughed at as she certainly never had a thousand pieces of poe at any one time.
This particular story revolves around one sunny spring day in late April many tides ago. Lady K and her motley gang of pirates had had a long day raiding and were more than ready for one of the local inn's ice-cold beverages. They piled into the busy inn, found a seat and sat down to be served. After half an hour or so had passed the crew were still yet to make their order. Amongst the regular grumblings one pirate noticed a cheeky green (one might even call it a spring green) parrot looking smug perched at the window.
"Curse that bleeding parrot, I bet he never waits for his drinks!"
"If only he could fly o?er the bar and fetch me some rum," agreed another.
Whilst musing at the green fellow Lady K felt the proverbial poe piece drop. She had just happened upon her greatest money making scheme yet. She banged on the table with her peg leg and raised her voice over the cacophony of bragging and swearing.
"I bet every pirate here one fine dubloon that I can tame that very parrot to sit on this here shoulder!" she shouted whilst poking her shoulder with her hook.
Her announcement was met by raucous laughter and exclaims of "she's at it again" and "silly wench!" Her second in command, Pirate Gingerbeard, stood.
"Arghh, who where takes up Lady K on her bet then ye blaggards? I for one do!"
His agreement to the bet was affirmed by his fellow crewmates and pirates in the inn. He turned to Lady K and shouted for all to here:
"You Lady, have yourself a bet!"
The next day Lady K woke with the familiar rum addled feeling most pirates suffer from after a night at the inn. She gasped, jumped out of bed and would've stumped her toe on her chest had she not lost her lower left leg in a vicious fight with a bellator earlier that year. She had just remembered her bet, sighing she sat down and felt sorry for herself whilst pondering how on earth she could tame a parrot.
Once again the poe piece dropped whilst munching on some rambutan for breakfast, "If only these pieces of poe were real" she thought, "I'd be the richest pirate in the Great Ocean!" So after breakfast she retraced her footsteps back to the inn and spoke to the bartender (the inn is open all day, ever day. Pirates love their rum you see.)
"Fine sir, I need a gallon of your finest, cheapest swill!"
Having managed to coerce the bartender into putting the bill onto her ever-expanding tab she walked out and followed the same procedure but at the local market, this time buying sunflower seeds. Finally she made her way home and set about her ambitious plan.
That evening, as the sun was setting over the Great Ocean, Lady K sat herself down on the dock and began to cover herself in seeds. She filled the brim of her beaten old captains hat, the insides of her aging fine boots were filled and she scattered the remaining seeds around her. All she had left was a bag full of seeds she stuffed into her jacket pocket, and then she began to wait. A few minutes passed before the parrots began to flock to her. Before long she was covered in an array of colours, she even spotted a few toucans (but the taming of those blighters is for another time!) Finally the cheeky green parrot flew down and landed right on the brim of her hat. Lady K reached into her jacket pocket and produced the bag of seeds and began to feed them one by one to the parrot till he had finished the bag. At this point the little guy had become rather fond of Lady K and had actually fallen from her hat and was currently struggling to stand on her shoulder. With a helping hand Lady K propped the parrot up and grinned to herself as she noticed his glazed over eyes.
The inn was buzzing with its usual ambience as Lady K strutted in. Upon her entrance a shocked silence settled amongst her fellow pirates.
"By Davy Jones' locker, she's got that bloody parrot on her shoulder!" was but one of the less expletive comments.
She sat down, plucked the parrot from her shoulder, pointed at nearest pack of confectionary snacks behind the bar, shook her mysterious seeds and the parrot took off, collecting the snack and returning faithfully to her shoulder. Now pirates, due to most of them having peg legs and eye patches do not have the best of balance, so it was no surprise that most of them fell flat on their backs in surprise. At this, Lady K stood and spoke:
"Well, ladies and gents, I do believe I am now the richest pirate in this inn. Pay up!"
After the painful process of extracting dubs from a pirate was completed Lady K sat smugly at her table. Pirate Gingerbeard, none to happy given he could no longer afford his rum, turned to Lady K and said:
"Just how in the name of the Holy Kraken did you manage that Lady?"
"Well, have a smell of these seeds Ginge," she responded.
Gingerbeard plunged his face into the seeds and looked back up at Lady shocked. The seeds stank of swill. She had intoxicated the parrot! Smiling wryly he laughed:
"Well I'd thought I'd seen it all Lady. You've surpassed yourself this time!"
So, the next time you are wandering the docks of an island, or raiding a fellow pirate's ship and spot a parrot sat docile on their shoulder you'll know why it sits so still instead of soaring into the sky. There isn't a parrot in the Great Ocean that can fly in a straight line!
word count is 1173! Hope you like it :) feedback is appreciated <3
p.s. just edited to add a drawing i did :P extra points! <3
p.p.s. edit two was to get rid of the question marks that replaced my speech marks.
p.p.p.s. edit three was to readjust the word count...
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